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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28608417">dont blame me if you die (live this time with caution)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/HaloRocks1214/pseuds/HaloRocks1214'>HaloRocks1214</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, EVERYONE REDMPTION IN THIS HOUSE, Eggpire, Everyone Needs A Hug, Fluff, Found Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Manipulation, Miscommunication, Multiple Pronouns for Eret (Video Blogging RPF), Night Terrors, Nightmares, Not Canon Compliant, Pandora's Vault, Panic Attacks, Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Past Abuse, Piglin Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Platonic Affection, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Relationships, Possession, Ranboo Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF), Redemption, Self-Worth Issues, Sleepy Bois Inc Angst, Sleepy Bois Inc as Family, Toby Smith | Tubbo Needs a Hug, TommyInnit Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF), Villain Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, Winged Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), YES THATS A TAG ADSMFLKSD :WHEEZE:, actually everyone will at some point make this "Everyone Gets Therapy" the fic, aka HALO MAKING SUPER INDULGENT FICS THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN IN CANON ONCE AGAIN, aka the tag that completely summarizes the entirety of DSMP (and most of this fic sksksk), but with a twist because canon divergence my beloved 💖, everything up until doomsday and ranboo moving to the arctic is here, from then on it is completely and totally, gotta get the plot bunny out before canon beats it with a hammer, i believe in eret supremacy (✿◠‿◠) he'll be the best goddamn parent to these traumatized people, im sorry i just want people to know i am a tommy apologist before i am a woman and thats the tea, implied/referenced suicidal ideation, protective sbi, this fic is 'all of sbi is sympathetic and theyre going to realize that with lots of angst', this is "The Children Get Therapy" the fic, yes even the children't because good lord they need it</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 08:41:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>51,662</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28608417</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/HaloRocks1214/pseuds/HaloRocks1214</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It never occurred to Techno that Dream didn't call in his favor until it was too late</p><p>
  <i>Absolute power corrupts absolutely</i>
</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>-gdfgjnfdg so close... almost all of them-, Cara | CaptainPuffy &amp; Everyone (Video Blogging RPF), Cara | CaptainPuffy/Niki | Nihachu, Eret &amp; Everyone (Video Blogging RPF), Floris | Fundy &amp; Niki | Nihachu, Grayson | Purpled &amp; Ponk | DropsByPonk (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo &amp; Technoblade &amp; Phil Watson, Ranboo &amp; TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Toby Smith | Tubbo &amp; Ranboo &amp; Wilbur Soot, Toby Smith | Tubbo &amp; TommyInnit, TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF) &amp; Everyone, Wilbur Soot &amp; Technoblade &amp; TommyInnit &amp; Phil Watson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>186</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>856</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. a favor "repaid"</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>Dream whispered to you: I want to call in that favor now</i>
</p>
<p>It’s been a few weeks since Technoblade had come in and destroyed all of Manberg in his glorious fashion, sending a message to all of those who wronged him. It might have been over the top, but it’s not as if he didn’t give them plenty of warning, or as if it wasn’t inevitable.</p>
<p>It’s been relatively quiet, though, with him and Phil finally being given peace out in their cabin in the Arctic, oh, along with Ranboo as well, who just had been chilling as far as Techno could tell. He’s been a little off-kilter, which partially could be because of the Withers that chased him back when it all went down. But hey, you win some you lose some.</p>
<p>So Techno finds it weird that out of all possible moments, Dream requested this <i>now,</i> after everything was said and done. Unless something happened with L’Manberg’s citizens very suddenly (who were fairly docile from what Techno had been hearing), it makes no particular sense for Dream to call it when it can’t possibly be used to benefit him. It almost felt as if the man were bored and just needed something to do.</p>
<p>Yeah, no sense.</p>
<p>But Techno was a man of promises, and he wasn’t about to become some lonesome traitor, especially not after what Dream had <i>technically</i> done for Techno again. It was because they wanted the same thing, but for all intents and purposes Dream didn’t <i>have</i> to help Techno, and Techno didn’t <i>have</i> to show him his Withers.</p>
<p>
  <i>You whispered to Dream: alright<br/>
You whispered to Dream: what would you like me to do?</i>
</p>
<p>The response was instantaneous, almost too much so. Dream gave him a set of coordinates and a second message that was short and to the point.</p>
<p>
  <i>Dream whispered to you: Come meet me here</i>
</p>
<p>Techno started down at his communicator for a few seconds before sighing and shoving it into his pocket. Grabbing an extra stack of gapples and a few more potions, he walked over to grab his new axe and walked out of his house. He’s an honest man who will return favors, but he’s not stupid. There’s upholding his favor to Dream, and then there’s letting the homeless weirdo walk all over him like a doormat.</p>
<p>He knows which one he prefers.</p>
<p>As he pulled out his map to check the coordinates (which were surprisingly close to the crater that once was L’Manberg, now that he’s looking at it), he heard footsteps crunch in the snow a few feet away from him. He looked up to see Ranboo walking back with new bottles of honey that he asked the enderman hybrid to get for him.</p>
<p>He supposed he didn’t need it, but it was sad watching the kid just… sit around his house and not want to do anything. It wasn’t something Techno was used to. He was used to having to make people sit <i>still-</i></p>
<p>Shoving the map away before his thoughts could betray him like that, he spoke right as Ranboo got right in front of him, his voice as deadpan as ever, “I’m heading out, don’t forget to lock the doors, and don’t be afraid to take anything you need. Lord knows how much food gets spoiled in there.”</p>
<p>Ranboo let out a soft chuckle. He remembered when he first got here after Philza invited him and saw the disarray that was Techno’s kitchen. His smell might not be the best due to his enderman blood, but from how some of those ingredients looked he was thankful for it for once, “Sure thing, Technoblade. But, um, before you go,” Ranboo fidgeted with the bottles in his arm for a sec. “Do you know when Philza is getting back?”</p>
<p>Techno blinked. Come to think of it, the man left last night with a simple but typical goodbye and Techno hadn’t heard from him since. Not too out of the ordinary, though, even if Phil didn’t have a second house to go to anymore the man still liked to explore and stretch his wings every once and awhile, “Eh, no idea. Considering he hasn’t come back my best guess is that he camped out somewhere to avoid some kind of danger.”</p>
<p>Ranboo’s face became slightly downtrodden at the idea, “Oh. You think he’s okay?”</p>
<p>Techno couldn’t help the small huff of air that left his mouth, nor the tiny smirk that followed it, “Yeah, I bet he’s more than okay. He does this a lot, to be honest. I bet he’s going to bring back something cool for us. That’s something he usually did for us.”</p>
<p>Ranboo’s face lit up a little bit at that, but more in shock than relief, “What do you mean by ‘us’?”</p>
<p>“Welp better get going before it becomes night those mobs sure have been really mean recently remember to lock the doors see ya!” Techno rushed up as he speed-walked past Ranboo to go in the direction he needed to go to get where Dream wanted him before the kid could see the small blush that wanted to overtake his face.</p>
<p>Gods, he needed to get over it already. He shouldn’t be this torn up over something that wasn’t reciprocal anyway.</p>
<p>He just needed to repay this one favor and then he could put the whole L’Manbgerg-Destruction-Revenge-Unfinished-Symphony part of his life behind him and fully retire.</p>
<p>That’s all. </p>
<p>---</p>
<p>It was a few hours after Techno got Dream’s request that he finally got to where he was supposed to be.</p>
<p>And he was already on guard.</p>
<p>The first thing he noticed was that strange building he and Tommy passed when they interrupted the festival and promptly ignored because of how freaky it was. The next thing he noticed once he pulled his map back out was that the coordinates that Dream sent him had to be on the literal other side of the building.</p>
<p>Hmmm.</p>
<p>Putting his map away and unsheathing his axe, Techno kept a firm grip and the handle as he stalked around to the coordinates with a growing sense of unease. He didn’t like the building the first time he was here and he definitely doesn’t like it now.</p>
<p>What was simple dread at not knowing what was happening became full-blown panic backed by raging anger when he walked around the corner to see an unconscious, chained up, as well as tied up Philza on the ground.</p>
<p><i>He hates when his wings are restricted,</i> Techno thought, red clouding his vision very rapidly as the voices in his head began to scream, <i>He really hates it.</i></p>
<p>As he ran over to make sure the man was okay, he got about three-fourths of the way before an arrow came flying in and embedded itself in the ground between Techno and his injured friend. He snapped his head over to where the arrow came from to see Dream calmly put away the bow he was using to bring out his own axe.</p>
<p>
  <b>BLOOD. BLOOD. <i>BLOOD.</i> KILL. MURDER. PROTECT.</b>
</p>
<p>The only thing stopping Techno from rushing in was the fact that he knew that’s what Dream was expecting. He was probably expecting a lot of things, actually, but Techno could at least try and figure out what they were before making a complete dumbass out of himself.</p>
<p>That didn’t stop him from practically <i>roaring</i> out his rage, “You <i>bastard.</i>”</p>
<p>That’s when Dream made his shield appear, “Yeah? What about it?”</p>
<p><i>Breaths Techno, deep breaths,</i> Techno exhaled aggressively, “This was between me and you. One favor for another.” He shot his axe out to point at his unconscious friend, “<i>He,</i> is not <i>you</i> or <i>me.</i>”</p>
<p>Techno could feel how Dream was essentially holding back laughter, “I know, Techno, this <i>is</i> between us. What makes you think otherwise?”</p>
<p>Techno was practically pleading with himself to hold back because while he knew Dream was only doing it to get Techno riled up, it <i>still</i> was to make him angry, and, oh, angry the Blood God was. The voices weren’t helping one bit, “Are you saying that going after the last person I truly trusted on this server had <i>nothing</i> to do with you calling in your favor and making me come across his <i>knocked out body?</i>”</p>
<p>Dream shrugged his shoulders, “I mean, not really. I was planning on doing this at some point regardless and was going to finish off the job before I realized I could kill two birds with one stone by asking you to come here…”</p>
<p>As if that wasn’t incriminating enough, Dream stopped and let out a hearty laugh before continuing, “Actually, when I put it that way it sounds like I put him between us, my bad.”</p>
<p>
  <b>
    <i>BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD.</i>
  </b>
</p>
<p>Screw being rational, the voices wanted death and they were going to <i>get it.</i></p>
<p>Despite the rage pouring off of him, Techno was silent as he sprinted over to Dream and swung his axe down in the blink of an eye. Dream managed to block it (because of course, he could), and the two stared down one another before breaking apart and proceeding to stare at one another <i>again,</i> each breathing heavily in anticipation.</p>
<p>The two charged together this time, both understanding perfectly that only one was coming out on top.</p>
<p>The two went at it like they had nothing else to lose. Techno swung and hit Dream’s shield, Dream swung and Techno dodged it flawlessly. Despite being larger than average, Techno was a fairly agile being; he was able to beat Dream in combat, he <i>knows</i> all of Dream’s weaknesses like the back of his hoof.</p>
<p>But that was <i>before.</i> Before the SMP and the wars and the heartbreak and the <i>loss.</i> By God has there been a lot of loss, including the loss of their heated-but-genuine friendship, one forged out of honest respect for each other’s skills.</p>
<p>But that was lost to time, lost to two men splitting off and forging their own identities and beliefs. Even if their partnership hadn’t gone sour, with how much Techno hasn’t been in contact with Dream, he obviously won’t be expecting everything the man has to throw at him, vice versa. They’ve honed their skills into brand new battle techniques. They are literally expecting the unexpected.</p>
<p>Which is why Techno feels his haze of red break momentarily in confusion at Dream’s move of dropping his shield, running off, and pulling out blocks in the now empty hand to build with as he did so.</p>
<p>It was just… so dumb of him to do that. Techno expected Dream to be smarter than this (or the funnier side of him expected Dream not to be a little scaredy-cat when losing).</p>
<p>Techno’s hesitation wore off instantly and started after Dream. He was expecting the man to keep building, to achieve the high ground, and Techno would need to find a way to undermine that move without blindly chasing him.</p>
<p>What he was <i>not</i> expecting Dream to do was to only go up about four or five blocks by the time Techno reached him, <i>jump off,</i> and proceed to pull off a pretty neato flip that even Techno had to give props to (and proceed to tell himself off immediately for the compliment).</p>
<p>The last time this happened, Techno <i>won,</i> so alongside the simmering rage he was feeling beforehand and a sense of relief at history repeating itself once again, Techno swung his axe in an arching motion in his attempt to finish Dream once and for all. He was even closer in terms of proximity</p>
<p>But if it wasn’t for the rage, if it wasn’t for the fact that he was exhausted from rowing his boat for hours straight since he wanted to complete the favor and be done with it, if it wasn’t for the unfortunate fact that he was actually getting cocky despite how he told himself he wouldn’t do that when he first came around the corner to see Phil in that precarious situation-</p>
<p>He might have been able to see that he, too, was playing right into Dream’s hand.</p>
<p>Suddenly, the blocks disappeared from Dream’s hand and he grabbed Techno’s axe by the handle right underneath the sharp part of the head.</p>
<p>As soon as Techno felt the axe slip from his fingers, he also felt his right foot break into the grass beneath him and create noises like redstone was being activated.</p>
<p>
  <i>Wait-</i>
</p>
<p>The next thing the piglin knew, he was abdomen deep into the dirt with two pistons squeezing him incredibly roughly. Blinking a few times, his brain fully caught up to what exactly the kind of situation he was in when he saw Dream sheath both own and Techo’s axe on his back.</p>
<p><i>Man a good PG-13 swear word usage would work really well here,</i> Techno told himself as he tried desperately thinking of a way out.</p>
<p>Techno writhed and wiggled but he just couldn’t get himself <i>out.</i> He screamed a groan of frustration before going limp in the vice. His breaths came out labored, and his bright white eyes glinted sharply with the glare he sent Dream’s way. “How dare you. This was between you and me and I respected that for whatever stupid reason. But Phil had <i>nothing</i> to do with this, hell, he even helped us, <i>helped you,</i> and yet you do this to him?! I would have respected the favor as long as it was <i>just the favor.</i> This is nowhere close that, so <i>why?</i>”</p>
<p>Dream had finally made it to his shield and bent over to pick it up so he could brush the dirt off of it, “He was growing powerful, Tech, getting too big of a head. You as well it seems. That along with your first mistake needed to be rectified swiftly, and I did just that.”</p>
<p>That made Techno angrier, “What kind of flimsy excuse is that? And what you do mean by <i>alongside your first mistake,</i> what was the first one?! Because I’m having a hard time seeing the one you already stated!”</p>
<p>Dream said nothing. Techno could probably feel the coolness of the man coming from a mile away.</p>
<p>If Techno could punch the ground he would, “<i>Answer me!</i>”</p>
<p>The apathetic mask tilted downward to look at him. “You trusted me,” Dream stated simply. </p>
<p><i>That was the mistake,</i> those words spoke without saying anything. Once Techno picked up on that, the growl that ripped from his chest was as inhuman as he could make it, “Only for a moment. Only for us to reach our mutually beneficial goal. You’re dumber than I thought you were if you actually think we trusted you.”</p>
<p>Techno was not an easily frightened being, but the chuckles Dream let out were low and deep, as if whatever Techno just said was somehow the point he was making, “You guys may not have fully trusted me, Techno, it might have been partial, or even only a simple truce of sorts.”</p>
<p>Dream walked to Techno to be standing directly over him, his shield being grasped in both his hands as if he were going to use it as a weapon. Techno felt some blood drain from his snout as he watched the dumb smiley mask somehow seem to grin wider with how the shadows cast over Dream.</p>
<p>“But it was still too much.”</p>
<p>Before Techno could even blink, the shield came down, and the voices in his head were quiet.</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>In the bushes a couple of dozen feet away, a shivering enderman sprinted off in the opposite direction after watching what was essentially his brand new home being ripped away from him.</p>
<p>He should’ve known Dream was going to do this. He was doing similar things before, wasn’t he?</p>
<p>But if Technoblade and Philza were out of commission, who was going to help him?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>soooooo i told myself i wouldnt make a multi-chaptered fic for this fandom but im also kind of a liar SOOOOOO<br/>im very sorry but this will be slow to update since i got like 3 other series/fics i also want to work on but i just really wanted to see if other people would be interested in my niche idea as well so FEEL FREE TO LET ME KNOW<br/>i really hope i do the characters justice,,, do you know how hard it is to make a techno fight scene and have him lose but STILL BE IN CHARACTER SJDIPHDSF i hope my best was enough :)</p>
<p>I ACTUALLY DID GET A BETA THIS TIME IF YOU SEE THIS THANK YOU VERY MUCH &lt;3&lt;3&lt;3<br/>If you wish to scream at me here's my <a href="https://halorocks1214.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a></p>
<p>ALSO THE TILTE IS FROM THE TECHNOBLADE THEME MADE BY PRECIOUS JEWEL AMOR OVER ON YT PLS CHECK IT OUT I LOVE IT SM okay im gonna go sleep now</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. the world turned upside down</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>So what exactly happened to everyone in L'Manberg after, well, everything?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>that slow to update tag is true i swear i just needed an excuse to update tags asdkjldlfkj also college is starting tomorrow plus i need to stop before i burn out and take a year to update like another fic of mine 😔</p>
<p>CW for panic attacks, trauma due to abuse and gaslighting, low self-worth, and some self-harm in the form of hair pulling. also tommy swears a FUCKTON but i think thats to be expected with him</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tommy never expected to ever to physically live in this place, but even with his overbearing ego about things long since past- it shouldn’t matter yet here he was- he had to admit that Eret was right.</p>
<p>
  <i>My castle has plenty of room, you know. And heat… sometimes.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>It’s a bit of a walk, but I do believe it’ll be worth it in the end.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Listen, unless you wanna go all the way to Pogtopia or spend half the night pitching tents, my place is the best way to go about this.</i>
</p>
<p>… It’s a nice fucking place, Tommy admitted to himself with a groan. He couldn’t believe it took utter devastation and another deep regret to realize that.</p>
<p>It might also be the lack of sleep. Tommy will point to this as the only reason if anyone were to ask why he was looking up at the pretty window drapes for a little longer than he probably should.</p>
<p>Did he mention he was suffering from a lack of sleep? Because this was the third night in a row that the elusive dre- unconscious land evaded him, and there’s only so much his ragtag country could do to help him.</p>
<p><i>Why would they,</i> a familiar voice nagged at him from the back of his head. <i>You got exiled because of your own stupid ideas and then proceeded to let L’Manberg get blown up! The last thing you deserve is their help or pity-</i></p>
<p>Tommy smacked the sides of his face a few times. With a groan, Tommy threw his bedsheets off of him, swung his legs over the side of his bed, and proceeded to take another walk that would probably end up just as fruitless as the last ones.</p>
<p>The last few weeks had given Tommy lots of time to think about everything that’s happened to him. He may not have figured out anything important yet, but he still has his new set of “Three Rules Needed To Not Go Even Crazier” to follow and steady him.</p>
<p>Number One: Dream’s still a bitch <i>But he was the only one that visited you-</i></p>
<p>Number Two: Technoblade’s still selfish. <i>But that was only after you made him-</i></p>
<p>And Number Three: Whatever else happens, L’Manberg’s citizens need to be safe above all else. <i>Since you ruined their lives-</i></p>
<p>Rubbing his eyes, Tommy found himself back in the throne room with all the never-ending candles lighting it up. The last two times he trekked his way here he was by himself (understandable, considering it was the crack ass of dawn), but this time seemed to be different. Before he could help it, a voice that spoke out to him made him let out a short but high-pitched shriek.</p>
<p>“Tommy? What are- oh, <i>shit,</i> sorry-” the voice panicked.</p>
<p>Tommy quickly placed his hands over his mouth, hoping his idiocy didn’t wake anybody else up, as he turned around to meet Eret’s eyes (with no sunglasses, which Tommy thinks might be the first time in a while) looking at him with regret and concern. Their hand was reaching for him, but in a way that said <i>I really want to help you but I’m not sure if I’ll make it better or worse so I’m going to wait to see what you say.</i></p>
<p>That, coupled with Eret's bright white eyes, made everything seem to freeze for Tommy. For a hot second, the candles grew cold, the room grew much brighter, and Tommy thought he could see his breaths start to condense in front of him. Blinking a few times, Tommy watched as the hand slowly morphed into a hoof-</p>
<p>“Tommy?” Eret asked once more.</p>
<p>Speaking of hands, his were still clamped over his mouth. Quickly yanking them away, Tommy crossed his arms behind his back in a soldier-type stance, hoping he didn’t look as stupid as he thought he did. </p>
<p>“Um, yes, Eret?” Tommy finally answered.</p>
<p>Eret blinked a few times before bringing their hand back to their side and sighing, “Just wanted to make sure that you’re doing alright. You’re never up <i>this</i> early in the morning. I highly doubt these past few weeks have been easy on anyone, especially you after, well… everything.”</p>
<p>Both stayed silent for a couple of seconds, awkwardly standing in the open throne room while feeling the cool chill lightly flow over them. Tommy wasn’t sure what was keeping his mouth shut (fear? resentment? who fucking knows anymore), but he winced when Eret let out an even bigger sigh and rubbed their neck after Tommy respond.</p>
<p>
  <i>They asked a basic question, you moron, and you couldn’t even say your dumb ‘doing okay’ LIE-</i>
</p>
<p>“How do the scars feel tonight?”</p>
<p>That’s when Tommy found his voice, “Oh, what?”</p>
<p>Eret cleared their throat, “Your lightning scars? Tubbo said they occasionally bothered you. I’m not… exactly sure what I can help with there, but I want to do anything that can make your stay here more comfortable. So if you know something that might work, just say the word,” their words were sickly sweet and wholeheartedly genuine. </p>
<p>If Tommy told them they needed to climb a mountain for a very specific type of stream water, he has no doubt Eret would do it in a heartbeat.</p>
<p>Tommy felt a familiar anger bubble inside him. Eret? Wanting to help after what they did? Trying to <i>redeem</i> themselves? After all of this, they decide to do it <i>now</i> when Tommy was least deserving of it? Not back when he still wasn't a lost ca-</p>
<p>“Are you okay, Tommy?” a brand new voice spoke.</p>
<p>Eret and Tommy swung their heads around to see a slightly sleepy Tubbo rubbing his eyes and walking into the room. The brunette paid no mind to anything as he calmly strutted over to his best friend before standing next to him. Once he took away his hands from his eyes, he started saying, “I heard you shout and got concerned, so I wanted to see what happened.”</p>
<p>Eret couldn’t help but snicker at how adorable the scene was in front of him, which only furthered Tommy’s blush on his face. Clearing his throat aggressively, Tommy spoke only to his friend, “Of course, Big T! I’m doing perfectly well outside of the local royal cryptid deciding to <i>scare me</i> right out of my <i>pants.</i>”</p>
<p>Both Eret and Tubbo snickered at that, which Tommy considered a win. Anything he could use to deflect he would-</p>
<p>Very suddenly, there was practically a typhoon of birds outside the castle angrily tweeting and shrieking about being woken up, followed by all their wings flapping as they proceeded to fly away. At first, it might seem normal, with all the predators roaming the wilderness, but this almost sounded like <i>every single bird</i> within the range of that side of the castle had decided to up and leave.</p>
<p>The three of them were left to stare at one another before calmly moving next to each other (with Eret slightly forcing themself to be in front of Tommy and Tubbo) as they walked to the door closest to the unusual noises. As they made their way over, they passed the rooms of everyone else inhabiting Eret’s place of residence, who were also woken up by the unusual actions of the animals.</p>
<p>Following the three more awake members of their truce gang, they all eventually made it outside to gasp at what they saw. There was a lanky figure over by the edge of the forest curled up on the ground. Some purple particles floated above them, suggesting they teleported almost like an enderman would. There was no way that was a real enderman, which meant that they could only be one person.</p>
<p>Meanwhile, Tommy’s mind was in a state of shock as he tried remembering that he needed to breathe as he was human and oxygen was essential to living. He focused on coming back to reality while multiple people spoke. He wasn’t exactly sure who was saying what, but he definitely heard clear voices with varying levels of panic.</p>
<p>“Holy crap-”</p>
<p>“Is that-”</p>
<p>“It looks like he’s been running for <i>miles-</i>”</p>
<p>Tommy finally came back to his senses before saying, “<i>Ranboo,</i> Jesus Christ-”</p>
<p>The blonde knelt down so he could get a better look at his… whatever-Ranboo-considered-him’s face. His pupils were shrunk to the size of the tips of needles and tears streamed down his face like a waterfall. His clawed fingertips were practically trying to rip what little hair he had out directly from the roots, and he seemed to be trying to shove his face as deep into his knees as much as much as physically possible. It was an awful sight, one that the half-enderman least deserved out of all of them to be suffering from.</p>
<p>Tommy, mustering all the gentleness that he had left for this world (because he had to at least save some for his friends who desperately needed that kindness-), carefully grabbed Ranboo’s hands by the wrists to bring them away from his head. Before Tommy could get some kind of word in, he, along with everyone else, now that Ranboo’s mouth was exposed, saw that he was muttering something over and over again. </p>
<p>“It’s my fault why did I go to them all I do is hurt people over and over again it’s all my <i>fault-</i>”</p>
<p>It took Tommy a second to register that, but once he did, he was ready to handle it. </p>
<p>“Ranboo, I need you to listen to me,” he spoke firmly, and while it worked to calm Ranboo down a little bit, he still wasn’t focusing. </p>
<p>Taking a deep breath, Tommy tightened his grip on Ranboo’s wrists (just enough to ground him, nothing more), “<i>Ranboo.</i>”</p>
<p>The enderman-hybrid finally looked up at him and everyone went silent. What was Tommy doing?</p>
<p>That’s when the unexpected happened.</p>
<p>Tommy’s face broke into the softest grin imaginable, “Hey, it’s hard to breathe a lil right now, innit? That’s okay, just-” </p>
<p>The blonde teenager proceeded to take one of the hands and lay it over his abdomen, and then proceeded to gently take the other and place it on Ranboo’s to make the two appear like a mirror image, “There we go, you think you can make yours do the same as mine? Easy, it’s going to be okay, just follow my breathing…”</p>
<p>The rest of the group watched as Tommy’s lethargic deep breaths successfully calmed Ranboo down. He was still a mess, with his own head of blonde being torn every which way and his black and white face being smeared with tears, but he was no longer on the verge of passing out.</p>
<p>Once it appeared that Ranboo would be able to manage himself, Tommy let go of his wrists and stood up, extending a hand so the other teenager could use it for help. Ranboo graciously accepted. He was a little shaky in the process, needing to use Tommy’s other hand after he was about halfway, but he eventually made it, towering over his once-ally (or maybe current ally, neither he nor Tommy was sure anymore).</p>
<p>They stared at one another, hands clasped in hands, before swiveling their heads when they heard the grass crunching closer and closer to them. The sight they saw was unexpected, but Tommy was thankful for it.</p>
<p>Eret had gone back inside while Tommy was doing his thing to grab blankets. They held the soft objects out in front of themself for a second before blurting, “Um, I got these for you.”</p>
<p>Awkwardly spoken like a true king. Tommy couldn’t help but snicker, which managed to put the faintest smile back on the hybrid’s face as well. Seeing that as a welcoming sign, Eret walked over to drape the blankets on Ranboo’s shoulders. They watched as Ranboo shuddered at the warmth and gripped the blanket a little bit tighter around himself. Eret came over to help support the hybrid, and once they got closer to the castle in their enderman sandwich situation, that’s when the crowd finally erupted.</p>
<p>“Ranboo…” Puffy breathed out. “What are you doing here?”</p>
<p>“Why were you panicking like crazy?” continued Quackity.</p>
<p>“Are you in danger?” Sapnap asked, ready to help Ranboo with whatever he seemed to be panicking about.</p>
<p>“I wanna go back to what Puffy asked,” Niki interrupted a little less gently.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Fundy seemed to be in the same boat Niki was. “Why are you here?”</p>
<p>They all started to ask questions and speak at the same time, all of them wondering the same thing but for different reasons, and Tommy was on the verge of losing it in the increasingly small space as they crowded around them, but whispers to his left grounded him immensely.</p>
<p>It was Ranboo, who’s hand was suspiciously creeping up to his hair again, “Wait, stop, let me explain he- he didn’t give them a chance <i>please-</i>”</p>
<p>“ENOUGH.” </p>
<p>Everyone jumped at Tommy’s shout. The blonde winced once he realized he shut up everyone a little too aggressively, but at least he could make his point now. </p>
<p>“Alright, I know we’ve had our differences, but even if you think he shouldn’t be here, Ranboo is not in a state to answer any questions. I mean- look at him!” Tommy insisted.</p>
<p>The boy held out his palm in the direction of a trembling Ranboo, who’s about a third of his weight was being supported by a very concerned Eret. Their eyes were completely locked onto Ranboo’s fearful ones, ready to see if the orbs went back into that panicked world once more.</p>
<p>“Tommy’s right,” Eret confirmed. “I want answers for a number of different reasons myself, but right now, the sun is literally rising over the edge of the world, it is cold, I keep hearing mobs on the verge of finding us, and Ranboo just got done having potentially one of the worst panic attacks of his life. We are going to extend another room to him for at least the night since it’s not only the nice thing to do but since we probably <i>should</i> get answers but can’t right now. Now then, come along…”</p>
<p>Eret guided Ranboo through the crowd into the castle to help him get situated for his sudden visit, paying no mind to anyone, neither the ones with concern nor the ones with suspicion. His attention was only for the shaken up hybrid, who desperately needed some form of stability. </p>
<p>It took a few seconds for everyone to disperse back to their rooms, but after a few mumbles and grumbles here and there, each of them eventually trekked their way back into the castle. First went Fundy and Niki, who seemed to be less than pleased with Tommy as they walked by. Following them was Puffy, who sighed and sent a tired but more positive grin to the blonde to lessen the damage from her friend. Finally, Quackity and Sapnap seemed to be having some kind of small talk about Ranboo and whatever his situation was, so as they walked past Tommy, they sent nothing his way, which was probably the best thing he deserved at the moment.</p>
<p>And then there were two, just like always.</p>
<p>Suddenly, Tommy felt a body barrel into him from the side. Looking down, he saw a mop of brown and felt himself instantly relax. </p>
<p>“That was incredible, Tommy!” </p>
<p>Despite how tired Tommy felt, Tubbo managed to make him grin. He seemed to be very good at that recently.</p>
<p>Tubbo leaned away, keeping his hands on his friend’s sides in a much looser grasp than before,  “You handled that really well...” Tubbo looked at Tommy’s eyes directly, “are you sure there’s nothing you want to tell me?”</p>
<p>Aaaaand the grin was gone, unfortunately. Ever since they made it over to Eret’s castle, Tubbo (outside of Eret themself, or Sapnap, Quackity, and even Puffy very occasionally) had consistently been the one to ask Tommy two things: <i>what happened?</i> and <i>are you okay?</i> He was constantly there for Tommy if he freaked out in the storage room because he saw a little more TnT than necessary, constantly fixing up holes in Tommy’s clothes after Tommy didn’t fix a new rip after a day because he forgot it was there, and even making sure Tommy had enough armor after noticing how the blonde never tried making more when his broke... but...</p>
<p>
  <i>“Tommy? Are you okay in there?”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Tommy wasn’t sure what the fuck he was, but he knew it wasn’t okay.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>His chest was tight and he couldn’t slow his breathing and by god, if it took taking the hair out of his head by one strand at a time to gain some clarity he was about two seconds away from doing it. His tears tasted extremely salty due to dehydration, which was the shit cherry on top of the shittier pie.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>It’s all your fault it’s ALL YOUR FAULT you deserve this you DESERVE THIS you’re just a LOSER no one even MISSES YOU-</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Tommy felt something light land on his shoulder, but with how he jumped like a wild animal you would think the thing had struck him. Breathing heavily and looking up, Tommy just managed to make out Ghostbur looking down at him with a confused but empathetic face, “You seem sad, Tommy, do you need some blue?”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Once the mentioned item of relaxation appeared, something in Tommy snapped.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>He batted away his dead brother’s hands and stood up rapidly, “No I don’t want your fucking blue! Why do you think that helps? None of this is a simple ‘boohoo I’m sad’ type deal! If you’re going to treat it like some ‘ooooo let’s throw some pity around the poor thing’ situation then you might as well get out and do nothing!”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>The two stared at one another in a moment of awkward silence. Tommy’s breathing hadn’t improved at all. Meanwhile, Ghostbur’s confusion grew even more, now backed by a hint of shock at the boy’s outburst. Suddenly, Tommy’s panicked breathing became nonexistent all together in the blink of an eye.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Shit, why did Tommy just do that-</i>
</p>
<p><i>Then Ghostbur was gone, leaving Tommy to stew over his own self-hatred and flaws. But Tommy didn’t- </i>couldn’t<i>- hate Ghostbur for it. Tommy did ask him, yeah? Angrily shouting at the poor ghost who just wanted to help his sorry ass was the worst way to go about that. </i></p>
<p>
  <i>So Tommy couldn’t be mad since he got what he wanted.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Which is just what he deserved.</i>
</p>
<p>“Tommy?” Tubbo whispered, bringing Tommy back to the real world.</p>
<p>He blinked a few times before looking over at Tubbo who still had his stupid, precious, brown eyes directed at Tommy with nothing but adoration and concern. And there was the crux of the issue: Tubbo had always been too good for him. </p>
<p>Tommy might not fully understand it right now, but once his head cleared of all these dumb, conflicting thoughts, he’d realize it fully. About how Tubbo’s sudden fear of creepers probably needed more attention because those were an active threat, or how his burn scars burned more consistently than Tommy’s; nevermind the fact that Tubbo’s scars were forced upon him, Tommy literally <i>built</i> up to his and could have avoided it. </p>
<p>So what Tommy was saying is that what Tubbo didn’t know, couldn’t hurt him. At least Tubbo knew what was right. Tommy was well versed in the area of panic attacks, as he demonstrated, but what Tubbo didn’t know was how Tommy was just as much so in a different area as well. </p>
<p>Faking it, that is. Right as the grin left his face, Tommy replaced it with an exact replica just with zero heart behind it in an attempt to ward Tubbo off, “Ehhh c’mon, there’s nothing wrong with helping somebody in need of it, right? I just followed my gut, which we all know is always correct!” </p>
<p>By the end of his statement, Tommy threw his arm around Tubbo and pulled him into his side protectively. Tommy’s grip was firm, giving a sense of control that he most definitely didn’t have, and he felt anxious as Tubbo puffed up his cheeks in a way that said he didn’t fully believe Tommy. </p>
<p>In the end, Tubbo gave up with a sigh, deflating his face and forming a small grin, “Okay, Toms. But still, can I come to your room tonight again? When you shrieked earlier I came to your room and didn’t see you so I got scared, so perhaps...?”</p>
<p>Tommy felt something cold coil around his heart. It was so hard to tell how much of what Tubbo was asking for was for himself or a hidden way of helping Tommy, but despite everything else, Tommy never wanted to accidentally turn down something Tubbo genuinely needed, “Hell yeah! You can even take the cold side of my bed like last time!”</p>
<p>Tubbo squeaked when Tommy abruptly let go and ran into the castle before him. Tommy heard Tubbo start after him while laughing and yelling as well, “Hey! That’s not fair, you at least gave me warning we were racing for it last time!”</p>
<p>Running into his room, Tommy laughed as he leaped onto his bed and grabbed a pillow to prepare for the most important battle of his life. Before he could blink, Tubbo was on top of him laughing even harder, and for the next few minutes, nothing was wrong with the world or them.</p>
<p>Once it was over and they were all giggled out, they ended up in the position of Tubbo as the big spoon wrapped around Tommy from his back. His fists gripped the front of Tommy’s nightshirt and his face was smushed into his younger friend’s back.</p>
<p>Tommy laid there staring at the wall with one hand on his pillow and the other out in front of him. It was extremely silent up until Tubbo muttered out, “I’m gonna be here for you from now on, I swear it.”</p>
<p>Thankfully, Tubbo seemed to be mostly asleep, so he couldn’t notice the way Tommy tensed up at his words. The blonde bit his lip for a few seconds to try and smother whatever emotions threatened to spill over. He did a fairly okay job, considering all that came out was a measly sniffle. </p>
<p>Right before he fell unconscious, Tommy moved his hands so he could grip the arms around his waist a little more and buried his face into his pillow.</p>
<p>None of this will matter when it was all over, so all he needed to do was get there, and then everything would be fine.</p>
<p>He didn’t have any other choice.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>well this went from 0 to 100 real quick</p>
<p>if anything about tommy's trauma reactions makes no sense or you want some insight into why i made him react/think the way he did please feel free to ask!!! i have a literal entire essay typed up that i was going to put here but i feel like not a lot of people enjoy essays in the notes so i have it saved but im not posting it rip</p>
<p>i will however post these bits bcuz theyre important:<br/>- IM VERY AWARE THE SBI FAMILY IS EVERYTHING BUT CANON AT THIS POINT LMAO. the streamers and creators are allowed to make whatever story they want, and theyve made a pretty baller story which should be respected!!! basically this is me saying that my fic is not a fix-it, at least not in my eyes. its more of a “i think this would have been a really cool story if they did it :)” so theres going to be a lot of character interpretations that are nowhere close to the canon ones, and maybe some of tommy’s character falls into that pitfall in my need to write as much family sbi as possible asdjksdkj<br/>- last thing i should mention is that everything during doomsday is canon, and afterward is essentially fair game. this fic is NOT CANON COMPLIANT WHATSOEVER which i kinda already said in point 3 but this point is more about the WHOLE SERVER instead of just sbi. i will be inserting my own interpretations of storylines/plots that are very much not canon or will be heavily disproved by it at some point and that is my burden to bear</p>
<p>once again i was able to receive a beta for this so thank you for your wonderful work you awesome person<br/>If you wish to scream at me here's my <a href="https://halorocks1214.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. i long for that feeling to not feel at all</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Screaming at one another, getting confused, 10 different plot points being thrown at Tommy: he assumes it's just another day that ends in Y.</p>
<p>The panic attacks are getting old though.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>me: okay add a slow to update tag so you have an excuse to work on your other fics and series<br/>my brain: ,,, but minecraft,,,<br/>me: NO there is a fic i havent update in literally a YEAR we need to work on THAT-<br/>my brain: hehe block people go brrrrr<br/>me: *smashes face on keyboard* why</p>
<p>CW for panic attacks and self-esteem/worth issues, trauma for manipulation and gaslighting (sorry toms)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Tommy opened his eyes, he felt gross.</p>
<p>Not mentally, which was a shock, but actual, physical grossness. His hair felt super itchy and there was practically a sheen of sweat covering his body. <i>Tubbo, I love you, but you’re such a fucking furnace my dude,</i> he grumbled internally. Sitting up on his knees, he felt the arms around his waist tighten. </p>
<p>Freezing for a moment, Tommy took a deep breath before gently releasing the clamps surrounding him, “Hey, I’m just going to hop in the shower. Kinda feel a little scuffed.”</p>
<p>Whatever Tubbo heard, it must have worked, because the brunette finally released Tommy to let the blond stand up, and then proceeded to curl up in the warm spot that Tommy left. Tommy would be cooing if he didn’t just go to sleep to the thought of how Tubbo was better than him.</p>
<p>Shuddering before shoving those thoughts out of his mind for now (why does life have to be so <i>confusing?</i>), Tommy went over to grab a new set of clothes for the day and some towels before making his way over to the shower area. For how big the dang washing room was, you’d figure the mirror wouldn’t only just break three feet wide, and yet here they were.</p>
<p>It so far had warm water all the time, at least. Tommy thought everyone always had it, but there was that morning where Quackity almost sprinted across the castle in nothing but a towel because the water went cold halfway through. Nobody was really sure why it happened, but Tommy placed his bets on either Sapnap, who did it jokingly, or Fundy, who was trying to be a little shit.</p>
<p>Eh, who knows, Tommy’s just glad it hadn’t happened to him yet. He hoped he at least deserved a little bit of niceness after everything.</p>
<p>Walking into the shiny washroom, Tommy placed everything where he wanted it to be: the towels on his favorite hooks, the clothes on top of the hamper for easy access once he got out. Now all that was left to do was to set up the sink for when he got out. He needed a toothbrush and now a hairbrush because there weren’t many options for scissors out in exile.</p>
<p>Speaking of hair, he should probably take a look-</p>
<p>
  <i>Long, blonde hair tied back to prevent it from getting singed off by fire and explosions. Blue eyes pierced at him in disappointment. ‘You’ll understand one day you’ll understand one day you’ll UNDERSTAND-’</i>
</p>
<p>Tommy threw his back against the wall next to the mirror, breathing heavily and trying not to fall over. He felt his hands creep up into his long locks before he could help it. It was ridiculous, it shouldn’t matter that much anymore, the two of them weren’t even technically <i>related-</i></p>
<p>
  <i>Which isn’t even an excuse, is it? Techno wasn’t related either and yet he still-</i>
</p>
<p><i>Techno doesn’t matter right now! What matters is the fact that you don’t </i>deserve<i> to look like him after-</i></p>
<p>Groaning, Tommy stomped his foot like a small child and clenched his fists by his hips, all his anger at himself making him as hard as a brick. He stood as tense as a piece of wood for a few seconds before letting it all out, practically flopping back against the wall once more.</p>
<p>These days were the worst. The constant back and forth got tiring real fast, and the more tired Tommy was, the harder he could keep it away from those who weren’t himself. When he first got to the castle, they weren’t the best, but they didn’t shout at him for every little thing he did. Now that they were happening more and more as time went on, you can bet Tommy was only getting more and more tired.</p>
<p>Standing away from the wall, Tommy ran his hands through his hair and sighed. <i>It’s fine. Just focus on getting clean and… and ignore the mirror. Techno didn’t have any out in the arctic and you did just fine out there.</i></p>
<p>Tommy went into the shower and cleaned everything off him, ignoring all of what just happened with ease. See, it was fine. All he needed was something to do, and considering there were dozens of jobs around Eret’s castle, it wouldn’t be that hard to find something, not to mention the whole situation involving their sudden guest from last night. </p>
<p>Turning off the water and stepping out, Tommy was careful to wrap the towel around himself and pick up his toothbrush without looking up. As he filled his hands with water to rinse out his mouth, it hit him that if he wanted to put his hair in a bun like he usually likes to now, he would need to look up to do it.</p>
<p>He knew exactly how to do it, obviously, he was taught the process step by step. Well, maybe not <i>taught</i>, but he did watch Techno do his own and learn from-</p>
<p>Ergh, Tommy was going to have to look up eventually, even if it had nothing to do with his stupid hair, so he might as well bite the bullet and get it over with. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he tilted his head up to face reality.</p>
<p>And promptly started screaming at the <i>dull grey</i> face he saw in place of his own.</p>
<p>Before he could help it, he tripped backward and fell on his ass, still screaming a little bit as <i>fucking Ghostbur</i> came further out of the mirror to be floating completely in the room like nothing weird was happening. Tommy could barely register him talking over his own yelling.</p>
<p>“Hey, Tommy! I was just wondering- oh, stop screaming, it’s just me, your pal! I was just wondering if you’d seen Phil around?”</p>
<p>At the mention of his adoptive parent, Tommy ceased all noises to simply breathe at his undead brother, who just grinned like he always did. Blinking a few times, Tommy found it in himself to respond, “W-Who?”</p>
<p>“Phil, of course!” Ghostbur stated, as if it was obvious. “I hung out at our little cabin the entire day yesterday and no one came home, nobody came even after the sun rose! It sucked since we were supposed to talk about my resurrection as well... Anyway, I was just wondering if they had come here or something to say- oh, you look distressed, do you want some blue again?” the ghost held out his hands and conjured up the familiar material.</p>
<p>Meanwhile, Tommy proceeded to shakily stand up, using the hamper as a prop and support. All the way up his thoughts were racing, all of them conflicting as usual, but none of them particularly happy as well.</p>
<p>
  <i>How dare Ghostbur go back to those traitors after everything they did-</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Stop it stop, it’s not ‘our’ home, you lost that right when you turned your back on them-</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Does that mean Ghostbur doesn’t want you to revive him anymore?</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Heh, go figure, you’d probably fuck it up anyway-</i>
</p>
<p>“Tommy, are you okay? I heard a scream-” another, much more alive voice spoke from the doorway.</p>
<p>Tommy and Ghostbur snapped their necks to look at Eret, his hair disheveled and his sunglasses slightly crooked, as if the king just woke up and rushed to get here. Suddenly, the blue Ghostbur was offering was gone, and Tommy very quickly could breathe and think normally again. He was not about to have finally have a breakdown in front of Eret of all people. He’s worked too hard to avoid it up to this point.</p>
<p>“Uhhh, hey, Eret!” Tommy waved nonchalantly. “Sorry for spooking you, it seems my dead bro over here wanted to say hi in a very unique way! Say hi to my current host, Ghostbur.”</p>
<p>The ghost in question smiled at Eret, “Hi, Eret! Sorry for spooking Tommy.”</p>
<p>The king fixed his sunglasses momentarily, before looking back up with a much more relaxed stance now that he knows no one was in real danger, “Hey, Ghostbur. It’s alright, I’m just glad to see no one hurt. Uh, any reason why you decided almost giving Toms a heart attack was a good idea, though?”</p>
<p>Ghostbur giggled, “Oh, I was just wondering if Tommy had seen Phil around. I needed to talk to him!”</p>
<p>Eret’s stance, while not tense, lost any sort of positive emotion in it, “Oh... I see.”</p>
<p>Feeling the regrettably familiar wave of panic course through him, Tommy flapped his hands to get the older person’s and ghost’s attention, “Aha, yep! Just wanted to ask me a question, that’s all!” The blonde then placed a hand on the back of his neck nervously. “So I’m almost done here, and I figured you maybe would like to use it next since you’re here and all?”</p>
<p>Eret took one look at Tommy and reluctantly sighed, “Yes, I would. Thank you, Tommy. Once you’re done, do you mind heading out into the meeting room to help set up food for everyone with Puffy?”</p>
<p>Yes, a very convenient excuse Tommy could use immediately. He’ll take what he could get, “Sure thing, Eret! See you soon!”</p>
<p>And with that, Tommy rushed through putting his hair up and getting dressed. He had to hold back the very large urge to sprint past Eret to the common area. He succeeded, mostly, as the blonde waved with a smile. Eret was shocked by a uncharastically warm (or maybe happy, which was a sad thought) response from the boy. After only jumping a little bit, Eret smiled and waved too as Tommy ran out to see everyone. </p>
<p>Next thing Tommy knew, he was smelling the wonderful smell of soups of various kinds.</p>
<p>“Tommy!” Puffy yelled out. Tommy looked over to see her carrying a giant pot of soup, “There’s two more big pots in the kitchen, do you mind- <i>oh jeez-</i>” Suddenly, she almost dropped the pot she was carrying on the ground, but managed to save it by barely getting it onto the table. After releasing the pot, she sighed and turned around with a small grin, “Hey Ghostbur. Glad to see you again.”</p>
<p>Tommy widened his eyes for a second before turning around and almost screaming again. Ghostbur was floating right behind him like a lost puppy, oblivious to the ultimately harmless turmoil he was causing. His grin got wider as we waved at Puffy, “Hello again! I hope we can get to know each other more.”</p>
<p>Puffy giggled like a mother enamoured with her child, “So do I, Ghostbur.”</p>
<p>That was when she turned back around to go into the kitchen, passing a struggling Sapnap and Quackity trying to carry the same kind of pot Puffy was achieving single handedly. Tommy would laugh if he wasn’t confused about the previous interaction, “You know who Puffy is?”</p>
<p>Ghostbur excitedly nodded his head, “Uh huh! We met each other about three weeks ago I think and she was really nice! She screamed for a few seconds before I explained to her how I wasn’t Wilbur! She gave me a really nice blue flower. I don’t know where I put it though…”</p>
<p>
  <i>So he remembers Puffy after one unimportant interaction but not how he said he wanted me to revive him…</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Or does he? And he just doesn’t care-</i>
</p>
<p>The <i>clang</i> of Sapnap and Quackity setting their pot down made Tommy blink and turn back to the scene before him. He heard Puffy softly cry <i>“Hey, be careful with that boys-”</i> as Tubbo and Ranboo came clambering out of the kitchen much like Quackity and Sapnap did. They set their pot down a lot nicer, though, which Tommy appreciated.</p>
<p>Right at this time, Eret’s slightly damp head came into the room as well, followed by Niki and Fundy coming into view on the opposite side of the room. Everyone stared at each other awkwardly before Eret used his most kingly voice yet, “Alrighty then, let’s get to the feast!”</p>
<p>The feast wasn’t any less awkward than before, and in all honesty it probably was worse. Niki and Fundy kept glancing over at Ghostbur hovering over Tommy- Fundy with conflict and Niki with faint amounts of horror (he should probably explain this to Niki at some point now that he thought about it)- while everyone else was in their own private conversation of sorts.</p>
<p>Eret tried striking up some small talk with Fundy, to which the fox replied with at most 4 syllables at a time. Puffy was able to get Niki to smile occasionally, which was great, but that still left Quackity and Sapnap to almost stab each other with their utensils with no intervention. Tommy supposed the lack of it was because Eret was trying to avoid more of a headache.</p>
<p>That left Tubbo doing what he knew best: trying to get Tommy to cheer up. It was working better than either of them expected, but they both kept cutting out of the conversation to glance over at Ranboo, who simply picked at his food sadly. The clingy duo were worried, and after about a dozen or so concerned glances, Tubbo gave up and used his puppy dog eyes on Eret until the adult realized what was wrong.</p>
<p>Eret cleared his throat loudly, catching the attention of everyone (and barely stopping Quackity from almost losing his left eye again), “I’m sorry to interrupt this wonderful time, but we do have questions that need answering.”</p>
<p>That changed the mood considerably. Tommy tensed as everyone (including himself, unfortunately) turned to look at Ranboo, whose hands moved to grip the edge of the table as he sat up ramrod straight. He anxiously chuckled, “Soooooo… I guess you want to know why I nearly ripped my head off its own body yesterday, correct?”</p>
<p>“That would be nice,” Fundy spoke with a monotone voice. </p>
<p>Tommy wanted to mention something about Ranboo flinching at that, but the hybrid continued forward as if it meant nothing, “Yeaaaaah okay… promise not to freak out?”</p>
<p>That made Tommy and Tubbo look at each other in worry while Eret smiled like the responsible adult he (hopefully) was, “I’m sure whatever put you in a state such as that isn’t anything we’d be able to get mad over.”</p>
<p>Ranboo puffed his cheeks in a nervous way that said <i>yeah you won’t be saying that for long,</i> “Mmhmm, sure, so… you remember Technoblade and Philza, right?”</p>
<p>To say the air in the room suddenly felt thick was an understatement. Tommy was about to try stabbing it with his knife. Eret brought his hands together and clasped them, careful to lack any emotion, “Yes, I believe we do.”</p>
<p>Ranboo’s eyes flickered around the room at everyone before he suddenly stood up and took a very deep breath before rushing his words, “I was in a really really bad place after Doomsday so Philza came and picked me up before I did something stupid so I’ve been staying with them and then two days ago Philza left but didn’t come back so when Techno said he was going somewhere a day later I decided to follow him to make sure nothing happened but what I saw was terrible I watched Dream single handedly take them both down in front of this really really big scary building that looked awful and before I could help myself I booked it away in a random direction and I guess I ended up at your guys place so-”</p>
<p>The hybrid clamped a hand over his mouth to stop himself before looking back at everyone.</p>
<p>They all had unreadable expressions. The tension was even worse. Tommy was going to go get a literal sword from the amory to try and cut this one, but that was before everyone erupted into chaos.</p>
<p>“You stayed with <i>them?</i>” Quackity objected.</p>
<p>“Holy shit,” Sapnap breathed out. “Dream took them <i>both</i> down?”</p>
<p>Tommy wasn’t sure his brain was wired properly, “Wait, what do you mean-”</p>
<p>“Wow, so much for picking sides,” Fundy snorted. “Am I right, Ranboo?”</p>
<p>“Wait now hang on a sec,” Ranboo jumped in, “I’ve never-”</p>
<p>“Why is everyone getting so <i>angry,</i>” Ghostbur pointed out. “Maybe we can simply calm down here and talk properly!”</p>
<p>Ghostbur was always the one with common sense, Tommy realized, “Yeah, yelling randomly hasn’t ever really-”</p>
<p>“Tommy, I suggest that you should be the last person to say what I think you’re saying,” Niki sent a glare in his direction, shutting him up quickly. Tommy shuddered when he realized he was being a slight hypocrite. Again.</p>
<p>Puffy was quite literally speechless. The two people she thought to be irredeemable took in a lost child who needed help. Out of all the things she expected she never expected <i>that.</i></p>
<p>Eret’s hands were out in front of him in an attempt to placate the situation, “Everyone, please, Ghostbur and Tommy are right, we’re not going to get anything done by talking over one another-”</p>
<p>“But what was that about a <i>big scary building that looked awful?</i>” Tubbo asked innocently. “I thought you’ve seen all of the buildings here, what could have scared you?”</p>
<p>Ranboo genuinely looked at Tubbo since he was the first one to ask a question that could lead them somewhere, “That’s the thing, I think this one is something new. Something Dream built at some point- I don’t know- because I’m pretty weirded out by how Dream asked Technoblade to <i>specifically</i> come to it.</p>
<p><i>Oh, oh God. Ranboo was outside that weird looking thing he and Techno passed.</i> Tommy froze at the realization, “I t-think I know what you’re-”</p>
<p>“Tommy, seriously-” Niki began at the same time Fundy muttered out, “Something something ‘picking sides’.”</p>
<p>Ranboo threw his hands up into the air, “Oh my God, I’m sorry I’m not perfect, Fundy! But I think there’s a bigger issue at hand here. Like the fact that there’s a <i>huge ass building</i> none of us were aware about!”</p>
<p>Tommy raised his voice and brought up a hand to try and get everyone’s attention, “Ranboo, I’m pretty sure I-”</p>
<p>“Tommy, be quiet for literally just a second! God, why are you always like this,” Niki snapped, the second sentence being much more quiet, as if she said it to herself. She immediately turned to Ranboo again. “What do you mean you don’t know? How does a giant fortress pop out of thin air?!”</p>
<p>“How much more do I have to say <i>I don’t know</i> to get the point across!” Ranboo cried, pleaded almost. “I just know that I’d never seen it before, and it was very weird how Dream decided to take them down right outside of it as well.”</p>
<p>Puffy had her hand out gently after finally finding her words, “Niki, please-”</p>
<p>A choked noise came from someone in the room, and before anyone could place their guesses on who or what made it, they heard Tubbo whisper, “Tommy?”</p>
<p>Everyone stopped what they were doing to look over at the blond, and all felt a wide range of emotions, mainly guilt and confusion. Tommy was currently shaking, tears streaming down his face as his hands were in his hair. It was basically as if the previous night’s Ranboo had possessed him.</p>
<p>He was even sputtering an assortment of words, each of them pleading for something no one could decipher. “I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I know I messed up but please please <i>please</i> just don’t- don’t- you can’t- I promise I’ll-”</p>
<p>Even more sudden was Ghostbur coming up behind the frightened child and wrapping his arms gently over the kid’s shoulders and under his hands where they were gripping his hair, threading the needle in a way. Ghostbur proceeded to gently lay his head on top of the mop of blonde and shushed him, even going so far as to try and rock themselves back and forth.</p>
<p>It was working, seeing as Tommy wasn’t mumbling anything anymore, but he was still trembling, and Eret was convinced he was about to pass out from how his breathing sounded alone. But before any more worry could form, Tubbo quickly walked up to his friend and hugged him in the opposite direction to Ghostbur, cocooning Tommy in a safety nest of sorts.</p>
<p>To top it all off, the ghost started to hum a very familiar anthem in a lethargic and lullaby-ish way, which managed to be the cherry on top to finally getting Tommy to come back down to Earth. Once his shaking seemed to stop, the two beings hugging him released him and proceeded to stand at his sides. Ghostbur kept a hand on his shoulder while Tubbo physically held Tommy’s hand like he was a toddler and not the ex-president of a blown up nation. </p>
<p><i>Christ, they’re all so young,</i> Eret stated to himself. He might not have had a direct interaction with Tommy and his growing panic attack, but that didn’t stop guilt from forming in his chest all the same, “Tommy, I’m so sorry-”</p>
<p>Tommy waving him off was the last thing he wanted, but before he could object, the blond grinned a grin that was so fake even Tommy seemed to know, “It’s f-fine, boys, just got a little lost in all the y-yelling, you know?”</p>
<p>He wiped the residual tears out of his eyes as he walked over to one of the big windows adorning the wall. As he was looking out over the land, he crossed his arms over his chest and managed to muster up words by pure spite, “We don’t need to worry about Ranboo being crazy or whatever, okay? I should know.”</p>
<p>Everyone’s eyebrows raised at that, and the only one to voice that confusion out loud was Quackity, “Um, sorry dude, but what the hell does that mean?”</p>
<p>The blonde sharply inhaled one last time to calm himself before looking over the gaggle of adults and two teenagers that were just as lost as he was. He was so ready to be done being the ‘hero’, but… what’s the harm in doing it one last time? Seeing as life wasn’t going to let it go anytime soon either, might as well go out with a bang like Techno said.</p>
<p>“What I was trying to say is that I know the building Ranboo is talking about. In fact, I even know exactly where it is.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i had this fic all summarized out into chapters like i usually do but i also want to try and make each chapter no bigger than 10 pages so when chap 3 became 19 pages i realized that my chapter number outline probably wont be accurate in the slightest. so right now with chap 3 being split into chap 3 and chap 4 (which will be uploaded soon), the chapter goal is 18 but heeeeeh i wouldnt count on it</p>
<p>thank you beta from the discord &lt;3 if youre reading this i want you to know i love you /p</p>
<p>If you wish to scream at me here's my <a href="https://halorocks1214.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. a family split</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Yep, it's just as terrible as Tommy remembered. But how was <i>Dream</i> of all people involved?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tommy didn’t even have to look behind him to tell everyone was freaking out.</p>
<p>He would be lying if he said he wasn’t either. When he and Techno passed this building, they both promptly freaked out and decided to not think about it. Now that he was here, closer to it, being forced to think about it even more, he has to say that the panic he felt back before Doomsday paled in comparison to the tightness in his chest now.</p>
<p>“Tommy…” Eret breathed out. “Do <i>you</i> have any idea what this is?”</p>
<p>Niki cut in before Tubbo could, “I’d like to know too.”</p>
<p>Tommy gulped as the rest of the people around him zoned their expressions solely on him, regardless of whether or not they were positive ones. Taking a deep breath, Tommy stepped forward and stared at the mysterious compound, “I’m going to be honest, fellas, I don’t know. I’m just as in the dark as Ranboo. When I was wor- when I was <i>with</i> Technoblade, we came across it, but the thing is that was the <i>first</i> time we did. Neither of us expected it, so we kind of just… panicked for a sec, before moving on.”</p>
<p>Fundy asked what he thought was an obvious question, “How do you know this wasn’t his doing in the first place, huh? Like he’s trying to pull a fast one over you?”</p>
<p>Tommy grimaced. There were a lot of things he could say to that. <i>Because Techno is very smart but not smart enough to build something like that. Because he might hide his emotions really well but even Tommy could tell the genuine fear he had that day. Because Technoblade’s biggest fear is fear of the unknown-</i></p>
<p>Instead, he simply put, “I just… I just know it couldn’t be him. It couldn’t.”</p>
<p>
  <i>Yeah, besides, construction isn’t really his thing, he much prefers destr-</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Stop it, you useless brain! Now is not the time!</i>
</p>
<p>“Ranboo?” Tubbo asked gently, interrupting Tommy’s thoughts and getting everyone’s attention. “Are you good, mate?”</p>
<p>That’s when everyone’s attention got off Tommy (yay) and onto Ranboo (not so yay). The hybrid was visibly shaking again, and his lanky arms started to snake their way around himself, “No no no, this is where it happened this is where he <i>took</i> them I <i>can’t-</i>”</p>
<p>“Hey, Ranboo, remember how to breathe, yeah?” Tommy stepped up and placed a hand on the hybrid’s arm, which, wow, he seems to be doing that a lot. “So, Dream fought them here is what I’m understanding, right?”</p>
<p>Ranboo wasn’t completely okay, but Tommy was able to ground him enough so that he could properly respond, “Y-Yeah. Phil was unconscious the entire fight, and Techno tried to take Dream down, but I think Dream angered him too much for him to focus.”</p>
<p>Tommy let that statement sink in. Tommy was incredibly aware of how emotions could overtake the piglin, whether or not it was deserved at the moment, but to hear those same emotions make him <i>lose</i> a <i>fight</i> of all things. It didn’t make sense.</p>
<p>That was <i>Tommy’s</i> thing, and Techno was nothing like-</p>
<p>Out of the corner of his eye, Tommy saw Tubbo flinch at something, and before he could panic about whatever that may have been, Tubbo rubbed his eye and looked in the direction of whatever caused his grievance, “Hey, what’s that thing shining over in the bushes?”</p>
<p>Tommy adjusted to look at what his best friend was pointing at and also noticed the glare of something shiny. Next to him, Ranboo straightened a little bit as well, as if getting a higher vantage point would allow the hybrid to tell what it was from where he was standing. The three teens all relented when they realized they would need to get closer to figure out what the shiny object was.</p>
<p>As they all walked over, they caught Eret’s attention, who started asking, “Hey, what are you guys-” before seeing that they were too focused on their objective and just followed them instead. This caught the rest of the adults’ attention, who also followed behind the group but from a slight distance as to avoid the oncoming danger… if there was going to be any.</p>
<p>This was very confusing for everyone. The giant obsidian and iron building they learned about wasn’t helping.</p>
<p>Before Tommy could do anything, Tubbo and Ranboo knelt to dig around in the bush for the item in question. Tommy looked around the area to help search. Turns out that was a smart decision because he was able to see the shine sitting just a foot or so behind the bush his friends were digging in. </p>
<p>“Aha! Look!” he said triumphantly while pointing.</p>
<p>Tubbo looked up and didn’t hesitate to lean forward over the bush to pick it up. Grabbing it, he felt another object resting against it and brought his other hand to pick that one up as well. Ranboo was standing again at this point, so he gently gripped Tubbo’s elbow to help him get back on his feet. With Tommy on his right and Ranboo on his left, Tuboo presented the shiny thing that grabbed their attention in the first place.</p>
<p>Turns out it really was one object to begin with; in Tubbo’s hands was a shiny gold grown, split into two halves. </p>
<p>“... What.” Fundy bluntly spoke. A few other adults murmured the same sentiment.</p>
<p>Eret was about to offer to take it and examine it. He even started reaching his hands out to Tubbo, but right as he did, Tommy grabbed the halves from his friend and gripped them closely to his chest, practically trembling at the realization of whatever that crown used to be. Eret couldn’t stop himself from blinking, “Um, Tommy?” </p>
<p>The blond kept the broken item close to his chest as he looked up at everyone patiently waiting for any answer, “Oh my God… this is Technoblade’s crown.”</p>
<p>There was a hot second of awkward, stuffy silence before the crowd erupted.</p>
<p>Once again, Tommy found himself hearing multiple voices yet not being able to decipher which one went to who.</p>
<p>“Really?”</p>
<p>“Holy shit, Dream was <i>actually</i> able to fully take him down?”</p>
<p>“Ha! Looks like karma does exist!”</p>
<p>“Took about 3 and a half weeks too late-”</p>
<p>“STOP!” Tommy yelled, and, wow, he seems to be doing that a lot lately. Maybe he really hasn’t changed, “Please, stop for a second and maybe realize what this means?”</p>
<p>Niki and Fundy scoffed, but it was hard to tell if it was because they hated Techno or if they didn’t care about what Tommy had to say. For some reason, Tommy hoped it was the latter option.</p>
<p>Quackity scoffed too, but he definitely leaned more toward the former idea, “Please, what comes around goes around in my eyes.”</p>
<p>Tubbo had to get something in, “Guys, hang on, maybe we should figure out what this place does before deciding anything. Is it a torture room or is it some kind of fancy hotel, can we focus on that?”</p>
<p>Sapnap groaned and rubbed his eyes, “Please, I’m up for pet killing as much as anyone, but there’s only so much dog howling I can take in a month. Let’s wait at least wait another week, yeah? It probably won’t hurt them.”</p>
<p>“Oh, we’re all back to fighting!” Ghostbur fearfully whined. “Maybe we can all just have some blue and calm down?”</p>
<p>“In a sec, Ghostbur,” Puffy almost whispered out. She seemed to be the most rational one to speak so far, “Tommy, look what he did to your home. <i>Our</i> homes. Is it not really a net positive after all the destruction they’ve caused?”</p>
<p>Tommy had to take a deep breath before organizing his thoughts. They all had valid points, but there’s a key factor that they’re not really taking into consideration, “I’m not saying I’m not unhappy.” <i>Liar, you’re absolutely horrified at what Dream could do to them.</i> “But think about it logically. Technoblade is one of the strongest players here. How far has Dream come to be able to take him down? To take <i>both</i> Techno and Phil on like they’re no stronger than us? Doesn’t that thought terrify you?”</p>
<p>Something there must have gotten through to everyone. Whether it was because Tommy made a valid point or the genuine terror in his voice, they at least took his argument into consideration. They awkwardly looked around at one another, all concerned about what this meant for their futures as well.</p>
<p>Eret cleared his throat, “I do believe Tommy has a point. I’m not the biggest fan of Technoblade or Philza at the current moment, but there is something to be said about basic integrity. I wouldn’t wish whatever Dream has lodged up his sleeves on my worst enemies. And even if I did wish for that, just because a broken clock works twice a day doesn’t mean I’m going to start using it to tell time,” Eret ran a hand through his hair, placing the other one on his hip. He spoke to himself, but it was just loud enough for everyone to hear, “Now there’s really nothing stopping Dream, is there?”</p>
<p>Everyone shuddered at Eret’s comment before a random arrow came in and split people away from each other to avoid it. They all turned around sporadically to see where it came from, everyone very jumpy due to recent news and realizations. They all breathed a sigh of relief seeing that it was just a skeleton who wanted to kill the mood apparently. Sapnap jumped into action immediately, leaving the others to converse about what to do next. Suddenly, another person cleared their throat as well, their noise being much higher pitched than Eret’s. </p>
<p>They turned their full attention to Tubbo.</p>
<p>The kid stood up straight, “I would say I’m the furthest thing from a Techno fan, obviously, but I’ve seen firsthand what Dream has done to us and what he could make worse.” Most people would assume Tubbo was in reference to Doomsday and literally every war they’ve had, and they wouldn’t be completely wrong, but Tommy was careful to hide the way he tensed when Tubbo glanced his way. The brunette sighed and started talking again. “At this point, I’m willing to extend an olive branch to anyone who is capable of taking down the immediate threat. I’m assuming most of you agree with me? With us?”</p>
<p>“Yeah!” Quackity shouted with a gleeful smile. Everyone was going to be confused again before he started chanting instead. “Dream’s a bitch! Dream’s a bitch! Dream’s a bitch!”</p>
<p>Nobody was reacting to the bombastic man until Ghostbur clenched his fists and brought them up and down in beat with the words. His words were quiet, but they held just as much emotion, “Dream’s a bitch. Dream’s a bitch. Dream’s a bitch.”</p>
<p>Varying levels of laughter broke out, from extremely tiny snorts to full-on giggling, between the group of friends and acquaintances and half-truces. Quackity kept going before Sapnap appeared and lightly bonked him over the head to shut up, then proceeded to throw an arm around his buddy’s shoulders, grinning from ear to ear. The arsonist sighed, “Man, you can't just be even a little serious?”</p>
<p>Quackity’s face embodied pure ‘little shit’ energy, “Not at all.”</p>
<p>Eret let out another sigh, one much more hopeful than before, “I’m glad to see most of us on board with this idea. Of course, for those who aren’t, you are free to leave. It’s perfectly understandable if you’re not fully on board. After all, they are the reason we’ve had to take shelter at my place. It makes sense if there’s still some salt in the wounds, so to speak.”</p>
<p>Niki looked around at everyone before sighing dejectedly, “Fine, I’ll stick around I guess.”</p>
<p>Fundy nodded his head once, and only once while crossing his arms, “Same, might as well.”</p>
<p>Tommy could see the annoyance on Eret’s face, but he also felt the pure empathy and concern radiating off of it as well. This was a mess, and it was hard to figure out where to start, “That’s perfectly okay. Now then,” he turned to Sapnap and Quackity, “please help me find a relatively safe place to set up camp. It would be a waste of time to have to trek back and forth to my castle, but I don’t want to be right outside what could easily be a giant ticking bomb for all we know.”</p>
<p>Quackity and Sapnap quickly stood up straight and saluted Eret, “Yes, sir!” Then the two were off, chasing after one another like two teen girls where one refused to spill the beans about their latest crush.</p>
<p>Eret grinned momentarily before looking at Puffy, “Puffy, please go collect food for us. I believe we’re going to be here a while.”</p>
<p>Puffy took a second to take in his question before saluting as well, “Of course! I hope you guys don’t care for mutton because I ain’t getting any of that!” She picked up a nearby stick as she ran off, the last thing to reach her ears being the remaining group giggling at her antics.</p>
<p>Eret turned to look at Tubbo, “Now then, I hate to ask any more of you, but do you mind walking the perimeter with me? I want to gain a better understanding of… whatever this is?”</p>
<p>Tubbo stared at Eret with big eyes before following everyone before him’s footsteps and saluting, but he accidentally used his left arm before realizing he was wrong. Once he changed it, he grinned from ear to ear, “Yes Eret yes!”</p>
<p>“Hey…” Ranboo objected softly, “What about Tommy and me? Did we… do you not trust us?”</p>
<p>Eret jumped slightly before looking at the other two teenagers and metaphorically smacking himself, “No, no, of course not. It’s just…” Eret looked everywhere while twiddling his fingers before biting the bullet. “I’m sorry, it’s just that both of you look five seconds away from passing out either from fear or exhaustion. I figured I’d give you two a break.”</p>
<p>Ranboo blinked a few times before moving his head in a way that said, ‘Oh, yeah, that makes sense.’</p>
<p>Unlike Tommy, who stood still, and almost appeared to get more upset at Eret’s concern, “Tommy? I’m sorry if I was wrong, you can come with me and Tubbo if you want instead.”</p>
<p>Tommy’s mind was racing a mile a minute. <i>You were doing so well and went and nearly fucked it up, especially with that previous episode of yours. Now everyone is going to kick you while you’re down and help remind you that this was a needed part of your ‘growing up experience’, which was the last thing you wanted, you absolute dumbass-</i></p>
<p>Eret’s question broke Tommy out of his spiral. In the blink of an eye, Tommy was back to seeming like nothing was wrong, “Oh, no! Sorry, Eret, I’ve just had a long day, you know? You’re right that I’m tired. Do treat Tubbo with the utmost care or I will make your crown look like this one, though.”</p>
<p>Eret and Tubbo’s chuckles felt forced, but once they turned around like they wouldn’t press the issue is when Tommy released the air he didn’t realize he was holding.</p>
<p>Eret waved goodbye, “Do stay safe, and if you can, watch over them, Ghostbur, Fundy, and Niki. The night is falling, and that skeleton earlier almost took someone out.” With that, the two brunettes were off, mindlessly chatting about what this mysterious building was.</p>
<p>Tommy and Ranboo both looked toward Niki and Fundy, who at the concerned teenagers’ looks, turned on their heels and stomped off in different directions.</p>
<p>“I’m going to help your girlfriend hunt,” admitted Fundy.</p>
<p>“That’s good, I’m helping your maybe ex-friends find a good place to sleep,” Niki responded.</p>
<p>Fundy was halfway into the bushes when he responded with “Good!”</p>
<p>Niki was too far away to hear at that point, leaving the teens with Ghostbur.</p>
<p>Actually, wait, they looked around to find that Ghostbur had wandered off, leaving them to be by themselves for the moment. They both sighed at a loss for words before simply standing in their spots quietly, unsure of where to start small talk, or even if they should.</p>
<p>“Hey…” Ranboo began, which Tommy internally thanked him for greatly, “I know it probably wasn’t easy, but thank you for sticking up for them, you know? I’m not sure how much you still like them or not.”</p>
<p>Tommy didn’t have the right words in him to say anything about that, so instead, he went with show-don’t-tell, “Techno loves this crown.”</p>
<p>Ranboo blinked, “Oh? I mean, I figured he did. I never saw him with it off unless he was sleeping or something.”</p>
<p>Tommy faintly nodded, “Yeah, he’s, like, an entire piglin, and you know how they get about gold and stuff…”</p>
<p>Tommy trailed off, worried he already misstepped with Ranboo. He didn’t want to go and ruin another friendship, or another whole person, so when he looked up to see the hybrid genuinely listening to him, he was thrown a little off-kilter, “Oh, definitely! At one point we went into the nether together and I forgot to put something gold on, so Techno speedran-built me a helmet before practically clanging it over my eyeballs.”</p>
<p>Tommy felt tears form in his eyes as he giggled. He was happy to hear Techno hadn’t changed, not really, “Yeah, I remember how Phil brought him home more and more. Time went on, he got older, and, well… despite everything, he’s still a piglin, and piglins need their gold to stay, er, ‘sane’ might not be the best word but… I don’t think he ever forgave himself for breaking Wilbur’s arm that one day.”</p>
<p>Ranboo visibly softened at that. Not in pity, surprisingly, but in sympathy, “I’m sorry. It probably wasn’t easy for you, I bet. Watching your brother be hurt by someone else you cared for.”</p>
<p>Ranboo always had enough concern to want to fix the entire world. Tommy just hoped he realized that spending it on him wasn’t the best idea sooner rather than later, “Yeah, I suppose, but it was toughest on him, you know? He just wanted to hang out, and puberty is already one hell of a bitch. Piglin puberty is waaaaay worse. And as much as I love it, Wilbur’s tacky yellow sweater certainly didn’t help anything.”</p>
<p>Ranboo managed to break out into soft laughter, so Tommy considered it a win, “Yeah, you think you humans have it rough with your <i>hormones</i> and <i>pimples,</i> try spontaneously teleporting every seven minutes!”</p>
<p>Okay, Tommy had to admit that one was good if his laughter was anything to go by, “Wow, jeez, sucks to suck I guess!” The two teens giggled for a second, forgetting about their grievances with the world before Tommy took a deep breath and began again, “So, the three of us- Phil, Wil, and I- all banded together to see if we could help him out. Wilbur and I gave up most of our gold and Phil took it to the local Smelter. All three of us made a design we thought he would appreciate, and, well…”</p>
<p>Tommy lifted the pieces of the crown up a little bit to fondly smile at the object, “I don’t think he took this thing off for a solid two weeks after we gave it to him. Neither his facial expression nor tone changed, but we knew he liked it.”</p>
<p>Ranboo’s eyes lit up at the happy memory, “Wow, Tommy that’s incredible! You guys all sound like a really good family. I would have loved to have a brother like you growing up.”</p>
<p>It was very, <i>very</i> difficult to hold back a flinch at that. He had an entire thesis ready to argue that last point, but he could also tell that Ranboo looked dead on his feet. He didn’t need to listen to Tommy’s excessive chatter forever, “Yeah, well, it was the least we could do so the poor bastard didn’t have to worry about going feral every ten minutes. Hey, look, Tubbo and Eret are coming back, along with Ghostbur- which explains where he went- we should say hi.”</p>
<p>Right as Ranboo looked over, Sapnap and Quackity, getting tailed by an apathetic Niki, also came up to them right as the trio that went to the building got next to Ranboo and Tommy. Sapnap was panting, “We found the perfect place, boss!”</p>
<p>Quackity placed a hand on Sapnap’s shoulder, “It’s a nice clearing with lots of trees around in case it starts to rain heavily, a stream is only about a chunk and a half away, and there’s also some lava half a chunk away from that!”</p>
<p>Sapnap nodded to his friend’s explanation, “There’s also plenty of discrete hidey holes we could potentially use if need be. It honestly has everything.”</p>
<p>Eret looked behind them at Niki to try and get her opinion. She proceeded to sort-of hug herself and puff her cheeks, “Yeah, it’s a pretty neat spot. The clearing allows us to look at stars too. There are also bees there, so we have honey.”</p>
<p>Eret proceeded to chuckle over Tubbo’s exclamation of <i>“BEES?”</i> before adjusting his coat, “Awesome work, you three. If you could, Sapnap, take everyone except Quackity to that location to help set up tents and shelter, that would be great. I’ll wait back here for Puffy and Fundy, and then Quackity can lead us to you guys.”</p>
<p>“Aye aye, captain!” Sapnap and Quackity saluted once more, finally making Eret groan. Seemingly satisfied, Sapnap placed his arms gently on Tommy and Ranboo to help lead them. “Alrighty then, this way, kiddos.”</p>
<p>On the way there, Tubbo got a little closer to Niki and grinned at her, trying to send some kind of message of help in her direction. It worked only a little, seeing as she smiled at him, before continuing to walk, paying no mind to anyone.</p>
<p>They’ll take what they can get at this point, really.</p>
<p>Once they reached the clearing, the kids’ mouths almost gaped at the sight. It was actually a really nice one like Sapnap and Quackity said, even prettier than they had imagined. Tubbo immediately spotted a bee, excitedly pointing at it before running off to play with it. Ghostbur chased after him like an exuberant puppy. Tommy seemed to be making that comparison a lot, now that he thought about it.</p>
<p>Sapnap rolled his eyes, “Hey, I know you’re both tired, but mind helping me pitch tents?”</p>
<p>Ranboo and Tommy enthusiastically nodded their heads. It only took about 40 minutes, but enough tents were set up to house everyone for the time being. Sapnap was wiping his forehead with his wrist when Puffy, Fundy, Quackity, and Eret walked into the clearing, carrying enough food to feed at least 50 families. Sapnap audibly cheered at the sight.</p>
<p>The rest of the night was a quiet affair, with Puffy and Eret mainly working on food while Sapnap and Quackity went off to the stream to clean up. Tubbo kept Ranboo and Ghostbur occupied with multiple factoids about bees, and that left Niki, Fundy, and Tommy to crawl into their tents for the night.</p>
<p>After a little bit, Puffy yelled out, “Hey everyone! Food is ready for those who want it!”</p>
<p>Tommy listened as Niki and Fundy’s tents ruffled as they got up and out of it, but he proceeded to curl into his blanket even more. It took all of maybe ten seconds before he heard footsteps come his way. “Tommy?”</p>
<p>It was Eret because of course, it was. Tommy made sure to stay as still as possible, not uttering even a peep of noise.</p>
<p>Eret spoke calmly as if to a cornered horse, “Hey, Tubbo is wondering if you’re hungry or not. We’re all pretty sure you could hear Puffy, especially considering that Fundy and Niki heard her. There’s plenty of it if that’s what you’re worried about.”</p>
<p>The Tubbo card was a low blow, yet he remained resilient. Tommy knew Eret could see right through his lame-ass attempts at ‘sleeping’, but it didn’t stop the blond from trying to bury himself further into his temporary bedding and pillows like he was an actually good actor.</p>
<p>Eret sighed as he stood up and walked away, “Okay, Tommy. Sleep well.”</p>
<p>As the footsteps died off, Tommy clutched the crown pieces tighter in his fingers and willed himself to fall asleep.</p>
<p>
  <i>Dream, if you do even a fraction of what you did to me to them…</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Let’s just say you’ll be surprised at how much spirit you haven’t broken yet.</i>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>anyways this fic is no longer canon-compliant in the slightest lmao but OH MY GOD THE STREAM ON THE 20TH I JUST ABOUT SCREAMED ASKMSDMFDFS WE FINALLY GOT A HAPPY ENDING AT LEAST FOR NOW IM SO ELATED</p>
<p>same beta as last chapter &lt;3 i would die for you /p </p>
<p>If you wish to scream at me here's my <a href="https://halorocks1214.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. leasing land and... labyrinths?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Familiar long time friends make their appearance, and Tommy unintentionally furthers the main plot like he always somehow manages to do.</p>
<p>Stellar.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Purpled was honest to god about to go to L’Manberg himself to see what the hell was up.</p>
<p>There’d been no noise coming from over yonder in at least a few weeks, not even someone popping in to play some mindless prank on him and Ponk. They were not subtle with their messages to everyone on their current business adventure, and a few people <i>were</i> able to come and request their help after they fully settled, but then came a certain point where there was just… nobody. Not even the Badlands had shown their faces at the R.E.D. Headquarters.</p>
<p>
  <b>REAL ESTATE BUDDIES<br/>
WHERE R.E.D. MEANS GO!</b>
</p>
<p>“Hmm…” Purpled thought to himself as he observed their new sign in all of it’s red and purple glory. “Ponk, the catchphrase still sucks.”</p>
<p>A <i>clang</i> of metal and wood reverberated from behind Purpled, making him slightly flinch before Ponk came speed walking up to where he was. Ponk was covered in soot and oil and had a small box of something under his left arm. He threw his right one around Purpled’s shoulders, “C’mon, do we need to have this argument again? You lost the coin flip only ten times or so, let it go. Or do you need to lose another ten times before realizing what kind of genius I am? Here’s the material you were looking for, by the way”</p>
<p>Purpled shrugged off the arm with an eye roll, yet took the box with both hands regardless, “Whatever you say, Ponkie. I still say mine had more finesse, but I suppose you’re always right.”</p>
<p>He received an ear flick from Ponk for that one, “I thought we agreed it was illegal to use nicknames when we’re trying to cheat something out of one another! No poisoning the well, Purps!”</p>
<p>They ran into their building together, the bell fluttering above the door at their arrival. Purpled made it all of six feet in before Ponk grabbed him and started ruffling his hair. The teenager couldn’t stop the giggles from leaving himself even if he wanted to.</p>
<p>But they <i>were</i> stopped at the sound of the bell fluttering again despite the fact they were both inside- so it wasn’t either of them, obviously- and also very much not expecting visitors. Turning around with Purpled still in his arms, the kid’s hair halfway to looking like a chicken coop, Ponk widened his eyes as he watched Eret stroll in. The queen was fixing her hair and looking down at her feet. Once she was in the building as far as she wanted to be, she looked up to address its residents.</p>
<p>“Heeeeell- oh.” And then immediately froze at the playful scene before her, “Um, is this a bad time? I could come back later.”</p>
<p>Soon as that was said, Ponk let go of Purpled, to which the teen responded by stepping only a little bit away, but stayed close enough to feel Ponk at his side. The two looked awkwardly at their friend as she looked back, before Ponk chuckled, “Not a bad time at all, dudette! We were just wondering where everyone had been, so if anything it’s perfect timing!” The masked man placed his hands on his hips, “Now then, what do you need help with?”</p>
<p>Eret cleared her throat before giving them the most serious look they had ever seen from the normally laid back monarch, “I was just wondering if you were given clearance to build a gigantic obsidian and iron compound in the middle of the lake out around Halo and Skeppy’s mansion by any chance?”</p>
<p>If they were in an anime, a very visible crack would have crossed whatever screen Ponk and Purpled were in. Mouths gaped, they both flicked their eyes at one another in the hopes they could give each other answers. Sadly, they both received nothing. </p>
<p>Purpled tried choosing his words carefully. “Uh, no?” he spoke, wanting to smack himself for doing the opposite of that. Very astute of him, jeez.</p>
<p>At the admission, Eret looked very dejected, “Oh, I see… that’s unfortunate.”</p>
<p>She brought up a fist to place it against her mouth deep in thought. The two real estate workers glanced at each other yet again, but this time in worry. “Hey, Eret?” Ponk prodded, to which the queen came back from her thoughts and looked at him. “Do you mind <i>showing</i> us this compound? Maybe we just forgot. It’s been a hot minute since someone has requested something of us, maybe our minds just need a jumpstart to remember?”</p>
<p>Purpled looked away from Ponk to enthusiastically nod his head at Eret. She grinned slightly at their willingness to help. Even if the chance of them knowing what was going on was slim, she still needed to hold onto whatever spark of hope she was given. If not for herself, then for the group of people waiting back home, “Sure! You might want to carry a little extra food, it’s going to be quite the hike to get there.”</p>
<p>Purpled set his box down on the counter and reached for the emergency rucksack they kept behind it. You never knew when an emergency was going to strike, “Lead the way, your Royal Highness!”</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>“Fucking <i>compound</i> my rear end this is a whole ass <i>fotress!</i>” Ponk spit out with his hands on his head in a mixture of panic and anger. “Seriously, we were never fucking told about this at <i>any point</i> in our careers this- this is some Grade A <i>horseshit-</i>”</p>
<p>Aaaand the little spark of hope Eret felt within herself shriveled away as soon as Ponk started ranting. It didn’t help when Purpled innocently tilted his head and simply went, “Huh, yeah, that’s new. Don’t think we were ever asked about it.”</p>
<p>Eret pinched the bridge of her nose, “So we really are back at square one, huh. Damn…”</p>
<p>As Ponk continued to ramble in the background, Purpled figured he could use this moment to flex that he was also apart of this whole R.E.D. partnership, “I’m curious, what is square one? What do you know so far about this place?”</p>
<p>“Ah, fair enough,” Eret stood up straight and brushed her coat off as she prepared to give him as much as she knew. It shouldn’t take long, considering she knew basically nothing, “Let’s see… One night while we were all staying at my castle, Ranboo came in and was having quite an awful panic attack. We managed to calm him down and let him stay the night, and the next morning he mentioned that he stayed with Philza and Technoblade for shelter before Dream came in and apparently took them both down right around…” she gestured her arms about herself for dramatic effect, “This exact location. So we’re all in agreement on at least one thing: Dream is behind this building, seeing as Ranboo mentioned that he invited Technoblade out here before fighting him. Everything else we’ve come up with has been things we’d pulled out of our asses in the hopes one of them will be moderately correct.”</p>
<p>Purpled’s eyes were wide, and she hoped it was more in shock than in confusion. She didn’t want to have to repeat any of that, but she would if she had to. Ignoring Ponk’s now simmering annoyance a few feet away, Purpled started to ask what was on his mind, “Wait, why were <i>all</i> of you at your castle-”</p>
<p>Before Purpled could finish and Eret could answer, the grass near them started crunching like someone was walking on it. These noises interrupted Ponk as well, making them all stop to inspect the cause of it. Actually, make that <i>two</i> someones. Fundy and Niki were walking past and mindlessly muttering to one another. </p>
<p>Once Niki and Fundy spotted the three friends taking a look at the mystery building, their faces turned dark, their muttering grew more rapid, and their walking got faster. Before any of the makeshift detectives could say hi, the two were off in the forest heading back to camp. Eret felt herself sigh again.</p>
<p>“Woah,” Purpled pointed out. “That was weird.”</p>
<p>Eret chuckled. At least there was one teen that hadn’t been scarred. Or she hoped he hadn’t been, at least, “Yeaaaaah, there’s been a <i>lot</i> of shit you’ve guys missed. The phrase ‘I don’t know where to start’ fits way too well to our current predicament.”</p>
<p>Ponk came up to the two, finally done with his rant, to fully listen in on what they were saying. Instead of getting more talking, however, the members of R.E.D. glanced at each other as they seemed to really like to do recently before Ponk decided to clear his throat once more for good measure. His seething seemingly over with, he finally got in words that were better suited for moving the conversation along, “I know as of these last few hours that this question only tends to lead to less than happy information, but if you don’t mind me asking, what <i>happened?</i>”</p>
<p>Eret started biting her lip in contemplation on whether or not she should just let the cat out of the bag. Slumping to let the tension leave her body, she figured she might as well get everything out in the open. Can’t really make their day worse, can she? “Would now be a bad time to mention L’Manberg is a giant canyon that goes all the way down to bedrock or…?”</p>
<p>Considering Purpled looked five seconds away from passing out and Ponk only two away from a stroke, she conceded that yes, she absolutely <i>could.</i></p>
<p>---</p>
<p>Tommy had been here for all of maybe five minutes and he wanted to pass out.</p>
<p>Or at least he regretted not bringing a drink of some kind. He knew deep down that avoiding the Nether and other lava-infested areas was a good idea for… <i>reasons,</i> but dammit, he was going to fix this crown even if it killed him, and the only way he was going to meld it back together is by dipping one side slightly into the molten material and pushing them together.</p>
<p>Besides, this lava was extremely close to him, like, less than a block. He looked down at it and could practically see the bubbles being their bubbly selves. This was nothing like the dozens of feet he had between it and the netherrack he was standing on during his exile. He was <i>fine,</i> he didn’t want to-</p>
<p>
  <i>It’s not your time to die yet.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>It’s never my time to die.</i>
</p>
<p>Taking a giant step back, Tommy regulated his breathing with a deep breath in, and a semi-shaky one out. You know, he didn’t have to stand to do this, so why doesn’t he just-</p>
<p>Laying down on his stomach and worming his way closer to the lava, Tommy gulped just once before picking his preferred crown side and gently bringing it over the lava, the jagged broken side looking down at the fiery pit. Tensing and holding his breath, he carefully brought it down to only have roughly a centimeter dip into the blazing liquid before quickly bringing it out, sitting up criss-cross-apple-sauce and lining up the pieces. He exhaled as he brought them together, the lava instantly cooling and reforming the object as best as it could.</p>
<p>Standing up and speed walking away from the pit, Tommy stopped near the trees to take a look at his creation. He was holding it with both hands, and it looked fairly decent outside the rough bits of lava that squished out and dried like a bad hot glue job.</p>
<p>Sighing in relief, Tommy figured that was okay. A little bit of sandpaper or knife carving could fix it up and then it would be like nothing happened! Like Dream hadn’t ripped their family to shrea-</p>
<p>Tommy suddenly found himself sprinting back to camp to literally outrun his thoughts because this was the point he was at in his life. Yay.</p>
<p>He took a small but short detour to pop into the small box Puffy had made for the storage of tools anyone was allowed to grab at any time to find a small knife. He yoinked it within the blink of an eye, and while he was no longer running he still made pretty good time getting to the lake with the weird building. Standing at the edge of the water and breathing heavily, he stared at the compound for a few seconds like he could melt it down through pure spite before conceding and falling onto his butt.</p>
<p>Once he was criss-cross-apple-sauce once more, he held the crown in his lap and brought the knife out to start shredding off the little bits of visible lava. It would be hard, and he probably wasn’t even going to get all of it off, but whatever little he could do he would.</p>
<p>It was all he had the power for lately.</p>
<p>He was heavily focused to the point he wasn’t sure how long he spent sitting out there. He just knew after a certain point that he was a little chilly- the wind had slightly picked up- he was sticking his tongue out in an attempt to increase the accuracy of his picking at the thing, he had almost taken off three different fingers four different times, and he had a relatively nice-sized pile of scraped off igneous rock by his feet.</p>
<p>“Tommy?” a sudden voice spoke out, making him jerk and almost take off another finger. Sighing and turning around, he noticed Ranboo looking at him with worry. The hybrid got even more concerned when Tommy jumped and almost cut himself.</p>
<p>The blond grinned in an attempt to dissuade the pity, “Sup, Boob Man. ‘ow do you do?”</p>
<p>Ranboo rolled his eyes and brought himself down to sit criss-cross-apple-sauce beside Tommy, “Oh, nothing much, just wanted to talk. Also don’t call me- <i>woah,</i> the crown looks good as new! Nice job, Tommy!”</p>
<p>The human in question blinked before looking back down at Techno’s headwear. He rotated it in every direction to see that he genuinely achieved getting off all the excess hardened lava, leaving two thin but visible cracks where he reattached the halves. He chuckled at the praise while sliding the knife carefully into his pocket, “Aw, shucks, it was noth- wait, what do you mean <i>talk?</i>”</p>
<p>Ranboo quickly brought his hands up in front of him in a placating ‘I surrender’ pose. His smile was slightly nervous, “Wait! Wait, sorry, I didn’t mean to imply anything bad, I just wanted to apologize… which I also literally just did, funnily enough-”</p>
<p>“For what?” Tommy asked sincerely. He was glad he hadn’t done anything to piss off or hurt Ranboo like he panicked about, but now he was smack dab in the middle of Confused Town, “I don’t see what you need to apologize for, Ranboo. If it was for spooking me you don’t need to, my dumb brain is just-”</p>
<p>“I was going to apologize for the panic attack yesterday!” Ranboo broke through. Tommy froze and looked Ranboo in the eyes to see even more concern on his acquaintance’s face. Tommy’s eyebrows furrowed in more confusion before Ranboo cleared his throat and elaborated, “None of us really handled that well, and I think even Niki is a little guilty, even if she’s like, not showing it. At all, ha…”</p>
<p>This hybrid was going to be the death of him. Seriously, apologizing for a minor freakout that he maybe had the smallest of involvement in causing- one Tommy didn’t need to have yet did anyway because he’s Like That Now apparently- 24 hours <i>after</i> the dumb freakout even happened. Jesus, “Hey, it’s okay. There’s nothing to forgive, and if there was, I already did a long time ago. Like, right-after-it-happened time ago.” </p>
<p>Ranboo pursed his lips like he wanted to argue, and before the alarm bells going off in Tommy’s head could turn into sirens (<i>stop it stop it why are you being </i>nice<i> the last thing he deserved was kindness-</i>), Ranboo sighed, slid off his own crown and ran a hand through his hair before placing the headpiece atop himself again, “I also wanted to apologize for a more pressing matter. You know, the whole… going to live with the people that destroyed your home thing.”</p>
<p>Tommy blinked, and he couldn’t even get a noise out before Ranboo pressed on like he wasn’t just literally talking to someone.</p>
<p>“It was supposed to be temporary, you know? I wasn’t the biggest fan of how they handled the whole Doomsday thing either. They picked a side just as much as everybody else- but then one day turned into two and two turned into a week and- and Techno gave me advice on how to deal with voices in your head and Phil helped tailor a coat for me and I swear I was going to try and explain to them that this doesn’t make what they did to me or you guys better but they were just so <i>peaceful</i> and I don’t really know how much that excuses the fact that all of you were out here sheltering under one roof like chickens with your heads cut off after being made homeless by the very same people that gave <i>me</i> a home-”</p>
<p>“<i>Ranboo!</i>” Tommy shouted, having no other choice in how to get through to the hybrid. Now it was Ranboo’s turn to freeze while Tommy sighed and began explaining, “Listen, Tubbo might be the only other person to say this along with me, so take it like a whole ocean full of salt: <i>you did the right thing.</i>”</p>
<p>If Ranboo could blink he would, “What?”</p>
<p>Tommy let out one of the smallest, most dramatic exhales before smiling in a calming way, “Tubbo and I know them. We know them from before, well, everything. And we know how they can really be. How they’re willing to upend mountains for those they want to protect, you know? We’ve experienced firsthand how their loyalty extends for miles, so… so it’s perfectly o-okay that you wanted them to p-protect you…”</p>
<p>Ranboo started getting concerned again, “Tommy?”</p>
<p>Before the blond could help it, his shoulders were shaking as he clutched his sort-of-brother’s crown to his chest. Tears started dripping down his face, “I just don’t <i>get</i> it. Why they had to go all in like we didn’t <i>matter,</i> like- like avenging Wilbur meant destroying everything he worked for. Like there was absolutely nothing salvageable of him- of <i>our</i> goals-”</p>
<p>Tommy brought his chin down over the crown with a choked off noise as he let his emotions leak out of him for the who-knows-what time. His mind kept racing, making his crying worse. <i>You know exactly why. You ruined it with your own bare hands. You made Tubbo take a role he wasn’t suited for just because you didn’t want it yourself, then made him exile you because you were stupid enough to mess with the most powerful jackass on the server. You took advantage of the one nice thing you had left to the point that they went and got a much better and more reasonable replacement. Ranboo wouldn’t fuck it up like you did.</i></p>
<p>
  <i>Face it. Everything could’ve been avoided if you just. Weren’t. <b>You.</b></i>
</p>
<p>Tommy didn’t look up from how he curled in on himself, but he did feel lanky arms wrap around his body, and a skinny figure almost drape itself over his back like a barrier of safety. He was too far gone in yet another breakdown to tell Ranboo off, so he just let it happen.</p>
<p>Ranboo hated water, and he hated how he couldn’t stop it from dripping down his face even more, “I’m sorry, Tommy. So sorry that we were dragged into this cycle without being able to break it. I’m just… so, so sorry.”</p>
<p>The kids sat that way for a good few minutes before Tommy vaguely heard a giant <i>clang</i> reverberate around the area. </p>
<p>Tommy felt himself look up in the direction he thought he heard it come from, and what he saw made him sober up so quick he practically shot up like a rocket to stand, leaving Ranboo on the ground with his arms around Tommy’s legs, semi-stuck in his position since he hadn’t registered what in the world was happening just yet.</p>
<p>Tommy’s mouth was open in a mixture of disbelief and anger. “Tommy, what’s wrong-” Ranboo tried asking, but he too felt a metaphorical chilly wave wash over him once he looked in the direction the human was looking.</p>
<p>There, standing mindlessly outside whatever the fuck that building could be, was <i>Dream himself,</i> looking at his wrist like he was trying to tell the time and tapping his foot impatiently.</p>
<p>There was also an opening into the fortress, which had not been there before.</p>
<p>Tommy blinked as he watched Dream walk in like he was going in for a simple doctor’s appointment. Right as the masked man disappeared into the new doorway, Tommy couldn’t stop his emotions from overtaking him. He was tired, he was worn out, he had been holding it back as best he could, and despite everything he did to try and stop this part, he was still <i>angry.</i></p>
<p>That bastard thought he could simply go on after everything he did? Not if Tommy had anything to say about <i>that-</i></p>
<p>The blond paid no mind to Ranboo’s panicked <i> “Tommy what the hell stop what are you doing-”</i> screams as he found himself rushing towards the man that had tormented him for the past few months. He had to swim a little bit at the end, but eventually, he made it right up to the new doorway</p>
<p>Suddenly, he was standing in a rather bright room made out of iron with a hallway leading somewhere. He assumed Dream went down it, and before he could make an even bigger dumbass out of himself, it dawned on him that he just charged after the man who made his living life hell because it was <i>fun</i> with nothing on him but a weak ass knife and a newly fixed-up crown. As he turned around to try and get out, he screamed every possible obscenity at himself internally.</p>
<p>
  <i>Idiot! Fucking dumbass! Did you really think your weak ass could do anything even if you caught up to him?! This is why you got exiled and your home destroyed! You don’t take five seconds to fucking think and now-</i>
</p>
<p>A very familiar <i>clang</i> reverberated again, this time much louder and also directly in front of him. He looked up and felt the blood drain from his face.</p>
<p>The door that used to be there wasn’t there anymore.</p>
<p>Rushing up to the new wall, Tommy felt like a 5-year-old as he weekly pushed against the structure in the hopes he could make the hole appear again. After about a minute of yanking and pushing and being right on the verge of shouting <i>abracadabra,</i> Tommy admitted that he maybe threw himself into somewhat of a pickle</p>
<p>As Tommy slowly turned around to try and examine his new environment as much as possible, he felt his shoulders tremble for a much more pressing emotion: fear.</p>
<p>His hands white-knuckled the crown, he tensed up but still felt as flimsy as a piece of plywood, and there was only one thought he could properly think.</p>
<p>Fuck.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i have fully accepted that my brainrot is in full swing and that my other fics are going to Suffer because of it. this Pandora's Vault is most likely going to be very loosely tied to canon due to Scenes I Need To Write. current Pandora's Vault still fucking slaps, tho, holy shit, c!dream was rly going to lock a 16-year-old in it like damn</p>
<p>also my awesamdad oneshot? popped the fuck off?? 600 kudos?!? do yall need someone to ruffle your hair and say theyre proud of you, im here if you need a hug or an ear to vent to wow/lh</p>
<p>once, thank you lovelies in the discord for betaing, my heart is soaring ive never had such good grammar &lt;3</p>
<p>If you wish to scream at me here's my <a href="https://halorocks1214.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. the story of theseus</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>What was that thing he did again?</p>
<p>(Meanwhile, friends with similar goals form a new very important group)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>CW for panic attacks, self-worth issues, manipulation/gaslighting, poor treatment of a child/emotional child abuse aka basically dream being dream but what else is new ¯\_(ツ)_/¯</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ghostbur was boooooooooored.</p>
<p>Everyone was either busy, missing, or… kind of nuts. He didn’t realize a person like Quackity could be naked so much and not get hypothermia. </p>
<p>Regardless, he wanted to talk to someone and there was no one around to fulfill that need. </p>
<p>So that left him to just float to and from all the new locations they were claiming as their temporary home. He went around the perimeter of the compound, found no one, and then went to the pond. When he found no one there either, he tried the campsite again. He knew he probably wouldn’t see anyone a second time, but then he saw a tent rustle.</p>
<p>Oh! There was someone here, he just didn’t see them! Or maybe they were just waking up. Ghostbur perfectly understood the need to sleep in sometimes, even if he was an early riser himself.</p>
<p>He floated over to be right outside the tent and patiently waited for the person to come out. He tilted his head in confusion when he heard the voice whisper things like <i>“Okay they’re gone I can sneak to the pond it’s fine I’m alone they won’t see”</i> but still ultimately waited for the person to exit at their own pace.</p>
<p>As soon as he saw Tubbo walk out in his nightclothes, he brought his hands up and excitedly shook them, almost as if he were making jazz hands, closed his eyes, and grinned the biggest grin. Finally! Someone to talk to! “Hey, Tubbo! I’m so glad I found you, I’ve been <i>dying</i> to hang out with someone. Well, not actually, I’m already dead, but you get my point, right?”</p>
<p>It took a few seconds, but Ghostbur eventually realized Tubbo wasn’t responding.  He opened his eyes to see Tubbo on the ground and turned away almost as if the brunette was trying to avoid being hit. His trembles were far and few in between, but they were there, and before Ghostbur could help himself, he saw Tubbo slowly curl his arms up around his head.</p>
<p>What he saw made him widen his eyes in shock: on Tubbo’s head was a pair of horns, slightly curled from extensive growth and no grooming or care. The ghost floated downwards a little and tried placing his palm on Tubbo’s shoulder, failing as it phased right through, “Tubbo, is everything okay-”</p>
<p>Ghostbur jerked his hands back when Tubbo flinched away from his ghostly touch, curling in on himself even more as he desperately tried to cover his new appendages, pleads and begs falling out of his mouth.</p>
<p>“No no no no <i>no</i> please- please don’t tell me you saw them- <i>please</i> don’t tell me you saw <i>them-</i>”</p>
<p>Ghostbur was genuinely confused, but whatever his friends asked of him he would try his best to do, “Okay, I won’t … but can I say that I think the horns are really nice-”</p>
<p>“<i>NO THEY’RE NOT!</i>” Tubbo screamed out, bringing his head out of his arms to glare at the ghost. Whatever anger his face and stature tried to show he had fell straight out the metaphorical window due to the tears streaking down his face. “They’re <i>not</i> nice, this is <i>not</i> fine, and if I knew a way to painlessly take them off I probably fucking would!”</p>
<p>Ghostbur was now visibly upset. Part of Tubbo felt bad, another more malicious part of him said: <i>good, make him not want to talk about this.</i> The ghost gulped, looked around, and then looked back at Tubbo with a face full of sympathy, “Oh, okay. I’m sorry for what I said or did wrong, even if I don’t know what it was, but I’m still sorry for upsetting you.”</p>
<p>Tubbo snaked his arms around himself as he looked at the ground in front of his feet, “You know... they started coming in around the time I exiled Tommy.”</p>
<p>Ghostbur sat down in front of Tubbo, keeping himself out of the ex-president’s direct line of sight. Ghostbur wrapped his arms around his knees like a small kid would, “O-Oh? They did?”</p>
<p>This was when Tubbo decided to look up with the most bitter smile he could muster, “Y-Yeah, they did. Probably should have been a sign, you know? A sign of what I was becoming. At least <i>he</i> didn’t <i>start</i> and <i>end</i> his run with a fucking crater.”</p>
<p>The silence in the air around them was suffocating, full of self-deprecation and sorrow, of thousands of things neither wanted to say aloud. The words hung awkwardly in the air, and neither dared to speak any of them. </p>
<p>“... I’m sorry, Tubbo,” Ghostbur sincerely admitted. “I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry you can’t appreciate them for what they are and feel like you have to focus on what they represent.”</p>
<p>Tubbo exhaled a puff of air through his nose and wiped away the tears that were left on his face, “Me too, Ghostbur. Me too.”</p>
<p>Suddenly, a scream pierced the air, coming from somewhere in the forest surrounding the camp. The two of them frantically swiveled their heads around to see where the hell it was coming from, before finally looking towards a large clump of bushes. The sound of frantic footsteps, along with leaves and sticks being crushed grew louder, as did the voice. Before they could tense up in preparation for whatever was happening, a very familiar 8’5” tall hybrid trampled the bushes they were looking at.</p>
<p>“GUUUUUUUUYS! GUYS GUYS GUYS WE HAVE A PROBLEM! A REALLY, REALLY BAD PROBLEM-” Ranboo continued to shout as he came bursting through the foliage. He came to a stop in front of his two friends, bending over with his hands on his knees in an attempt to catch his breath. </p>
<p>After a few seconds of panting, Ranboo looked up and grinned, “Hey, guys, so- oh, nice horns Tubbo, really cute- so there’s a slight problem in the form of one Tommyinnint managing to get inside the fortress thing-y and now he’s trapped in there and I’m pretty sure Dream is in there as well so- yeah.” Ranboo then stood ramrod straight with puffed cheeks, anxiously awaiting his friends’ responses.</p>
<p>Ghostbur blinked up at Ranboo as he tried to process exactly what he was saying, but Tubbo didn't even hesitate to press for more information, “Wha- What do you mean Tommy’s in trouble?”  </p>
<p>Ranboo panicked, frantically trying to soothe the startled boy when the color visibly drained from his face, making him look almost paler than Ghostbur, “I- I mean maybe? But also maybe not? All we saw was Dream outside that weird fortress thing-y, which had a door that was <i>not</i> on it before. Then the next thing I knew was Tommy getting angry and charging in after Dream walked into said new door! And even if I <i>could</i> chase after Tommy in the water- which I couldn’t because, you know, enderman- I wouldn’t have been able to follow him inside as the dang thing shut mere seconds after Tommy disappeared in it as well! I don’t know if he’s in danger or not, but that also means he could be perfectly fine!”</p>
<p>It was at this point that Ranboo realized he was doing a horrible job at trying to calm Tubbo down, seeing as the brunette was now trembling. And to make matters worse, his panic was also causing <i>him</i> to shake a little bit. Shit shit shit, why was he so-</p>
<p>“Shhhhhh, here, let’s all take some blue and calm down,” Ghostbur interrupted. He draped his arms around both teens’ shoulders- which was slightly awkward due to the height difference, but it was effective nonetheless- and cupped each of his hands so a small amount of blue could form in front of their faces. The two teens glanced at one another before taking it. No one really knew if blue worked for anyone that wasn’t Ghostbur or if it was just a placebo effect of sorts, but they both felt themselves calming down immediately.</p>
<p>Once their shaking had stopped, Ghostbur moved so that he was floating in front of them, “Okay! So, now let’s figure out what to do. We know Tommy is stuck in the mystery building.”</p>
<p>Tubbo and Ranboo glanced at one another again when the ghost didn’t continue, but this time in confusion. Tubbo prodded Ghostbur, “Um, yeah, we both just about had panic attacks over it.”</p>
<p>Ghostbur happily nodded his head, “Yep! So what we need to do is figure out a way to chase after him, right?”</p>
<p>Ranboo was maybe getting what he was saying, “Uh, I mean, sure?”</p>
<p><i>Was Ghostbur’s head loose? He sure was nodding it a lot,</i> “Alright, so then let’s stop being so upset about the situation, and start doing something about it instead! We’re not going to get in there just by standing around being worried! We need help and we need a plan! Lucky for you, your good pal Ghostbur is here to get the ball rolling!”</p>
<p>Ranboo and Tubbo chuckled a little bit at that. Ranboo brought his fists together in an attempt to increase his determination, “Yeah, more doing! Not just saying!”</p>
<p>Tubbo mimicked him, just a little bit more shaky, “More doing, not just saying… I like that.”</p>
<p>Ghostbur gave a whispered cheer before floating through the space between the two teens on a mission, “Exactly! Now then, we should go find someone else to help. The more heads the better! Puffy is really nice, and Eret has been doing a lot of good things too, so I trust him. And even if they are a little eccentric, Quackity or Sapnap might be able…”</p>
<p>His voice trailed off as he floated away. Ranboo and Tubbo tried keeping up, but in the end, they couldn’t just float through trees and giant rocks like Ghostbur, nor were they as fast as him, so they just had to let the happy ghost rush ahead. </p>
<p>Tubbo let out a sigh to keep himself calm, and right after, Ranboo cleared his throat. Tubbo glanced up to look at the hybrid in the eyes. Ranboo seemed very apologetic, “Hey, I feel like a broken record, but I’m sorry for freaking you out earlier. I could’ve dropped the news softer than I did. I was just… very worried for Tommy. I had a concerning interaction with him before he ran in, so I’m just a little freaked at what could be happening, which, I’m sure you are too! I guess I’m saying I’m even more worried than before, and I wasn’t sure that was even possible ‘til now, so.”</p>
<p>Tubbo’s hearty but quiet laugh was genuine. He could relate to Ranboo in extreme amounts, “Hey, it’s okay, I completely understand. I feel the same way about Tommy right now. I know… I know he’s not in the best headspace, even if he tries to act like he is.”</p>
<p>Ranboo looked in front of himself to see where he was going, but he was still listening as intently as ever, “Yeah, I understand that wholeheartedly…” Before he could help it, Ranboo felt himself snickering.</p>
<p>Tubbo almost looked away too, but the snickers made him look back, “What? What’s funny?”</p>
<p>Ranboo waved him off, “No no, sorry, I just remembered how groups of two or more here tend to have a name of some kind, and I was wondering if ‘Tommy Protection Squad’ would be appropriate for us and Ghostbur, as cringy and unoriginal as it sounds.”</p>
<p>It took him a second, but Tubbo was eventually grinning and giggling slightly too, “Oh man, be careful, from what I’ve seen recently, Eret and Puffy will fight us for leadership.”</p>
<p>Ranboo snorted, “Please, as if they’re dumb enough to not know that fighting you for that position would mean losing a limb.”</p>
<p>The conversation ended with their bittersweet laughs. If they continued with anything else it would probably get even more depressing than it already was. After a few seconds, Ranboo was a little bit farther ahead than Tubbo, letting the brunette do the things he wanted to do silently and without fear of Ranboo noticing or seeing.</p>
<p>Tubbo let the tears he was holding back fall freely as he fixed up his hair to hide his horns (he had already let more people than he wanted to see them). If his presidency had taught him anything, it was that holding back emotions would only cause others to get hurt, or even killed. It was better to just get them out of the way, then he could focus solely on helping others.</p>
<p>Once he felt certain that his horns were adequately covered, he brought his hands down to his sides, clenched his fists, and started walking slightly faster than before, now with a purpose: a mission to find his best friend and bring him home safe.</p>
<p>
  <i>Please, Tommy, stay safe. I promised that I would be there for you, and not even the green jerk himself will make me break that promise. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Please just stay safe.</i>
</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>Tommy clutched the crown as close as he possibly could to himself, his grip around it so tight it had begun to hurt his hands.</p>
<p>He felt like a small child walking through his dark house trying to find his parents’ bedroom after having a nightmare. His shoes were in a relatively okay condition, but they still weren’t the best, so his feet were sore from the constant walking and looking and walking and looking and-</p>
<p>This place was a nightmare. </p>
<p>Scratch that, nightmares <i>wish</i> they could be as creepy and fucked up as this place.</p>
<p>From what Tommy could tell, this had to be a prison of some kind. There were multiple cells of varying sizes and protection strewn about the place, some made of iron, some of obsidian, some of them being 50-50. Various hallways were strewn about leading to places only God knew where, and in one of the rooms relatively close to the beginning, it was the only one to have cells go all the way up to the ceiling with stairs and pathways lining everything. </p>
<p>One pathway way up near the ceiling had abruptly stopped in the center of the room, minimal railing at the end of it. Someone could easily fall from it.</p>
<p>Tommy shuddered. He hoped there wasn’t any particular reason for its existence, outside of maybe someone being able to stand there and look out over everything.</p>
<p>Regardless, he was pretty far away from it now, and the further in he went, the fewer cells lined the walls. They were more sturdy, however, and usually pretty big, but some of them were the same size as the cells at the beginning. Tommy got the nauseating feeling that they were built for isolation most likely, but who-</p>
<p>Suddenly, a loud, metallic sounding <i>clang</i> rang out through the halls of the building. Tommy almost dropped the crown, juggling with it for a second before practically stabbing it into his chest while hugging himself, standing ramrod straight.</p>
<p>He slowly turned his head to look toward the left, down the (convenient) hallway where the noise most definitely came from. His pupils were shrunk down to the size of needle tips, and he couldn’t help the grin that tugged at his cheeks, trying to smile through his fear. He honestly felt like he was right smack dab in the middle of a Scooby-Doo scene, the tremors that wracked his body not helping in the slightest.</p>
<p>But if there’s anything that could make Tommy stop whatever he was doing, it was Dream. Whether that was because the man himself was present or someone had just mentioned his name.</p>
<p>Or maybe it was because he could currently hear the man’s cackles that sounded as if he were high off adrenaline, coming from the same place as the previous <i>clang.</i></p>
<p>Tommy is very much aware he needs to stop repeating his past mistakes, but he couldn’t help it. The cackles only continued to get louder after he moved the crown to his left hand and sprinted down the hallway. The obsidian got brighter and brighter as he frantically moved down the hall due to the area slowly being made more and more of iron and glowstone instead, and when he reached the end he practically burst through a wall of light.</p>
<p>Once he stopped and took in the scenery, a gasp of pure horror ripped itself from his chest.  His free hand shot up to cover his mouth as he stared at the sickening scene before him, unblinking. </p>
<p>Not only was there an extremely deep pit in front of him, not only was Techno himself <i>in</i> that pit practically feral and out of his mind, there was also <i>Phil</i> down there <i>with</i> the piglin. Phil was on his ass with his arms behind him as he desperately tried to crawl away, wings splayed awkwardly because Phil was too focused on something else to try and position them more comfortably. Tommy felt his gut twist painfully at the worry tinged with fear on the older man’s face. The scene before him was very close to sending him reeling headfirst into a flashback of his traumatic pit fight with Techno back in the days of Pogtopia, but there were a few things that made him remember he was here and now, not back then.</p>
<p>Techno back in the OG pit was calm, calculated; he knew what he was doing. Now he was simply swinging to swing, blindly fighting with the idea of something <i>eventually</i> landing. While Techno’s eyes were usually mostly white, there <i>was</i> a pupil in them, but you could only see the black pupil if you knew him well or if he wasn’t pissed the fuck off. Tommy could easily say the latter was true as he watched the piglin rip his hoof out of the wall from where he indented it. Jesus, he almost shoved his whole arm through the damn thing-</p>
<p>Dream’s cackles died down to minor chuckles, and that’s when Tommy looked up to see Dream standing over the pit to the right of where Tommy was, too entrenched in the scene before him to notice he had a visitor, “I’ve always wanted to see a piglin’s feral state in action, you know.”</p>
<p>Phil managed to stand up and took a moment to look away from his young friend- his <i>son</i> in everything but blood, “You’re a sick <i>fuck</i> you maniacal basta-”</p>
<p>Tommy jumped as he watched his father dodge yet another swing, falling on his ass once more and breathing heavily as Techno towered over him. The piglin’s tusks were bared, every puff of air that left his snout condensing to be visible to everyone in the room. This room wasn’t even as chilly as the others, Techno was just <i>that</i> heated.</p>
<p>Tommy realized a very crucial detail at that moment: the reason Phil was on the ground awkwardly before was that he must have avoided Techno’s attempt at knocking him the fuck out. Technoblade was gone, fully entrapped in his most basic response to overexposure to fear and stress. He was not pulling any punches.</p>
<p>What Tommy couldn’t understand was why, or rather <i>how</i> though. How did he get this far into his blind rage? Techno never ever <i>ever</i> let it get this bad, not even in private, and especially not around fucking <i>Phil</i> of all people, so how? How did it reach this level of anger? Tommy felt his fingers clench the crown even more in an attempt to comf-</p>
<p>
  <i>Oh.</i>
</p>
<p>So that’s how the crown ended up the way it was. Tommy had his suspicions, but...</p>
<p>If Phil was right about anything, it was that Dream <i>was</i> a sick and maniacal bastard.</p>
<p>Tommy didn’t even try stopping the flinch he made when Techno took yet <i>another</i> swing at Phil. This time the man, unfortunately, tripped as he dodged, making him roll after he landed. He had more distance between himself and Techno this time, but when Techno eventually decided to strut over to the man to close the gap, there was a good chance Phil wouldn’t be able to get himself out of the way in time.</p>
<p>The thin wire that was barely holding Tommy together snapped, and before anyone knew it- least of all the kid himself- he was leaping down into the pit with a resounding “TEEECHNOOOOOO-” catching the attention of the other two humans present. He landed with an <i>oof,</i> but managed to roll through it and start running again to put himself between his brother and father.</p>
<p>He was in front of and practically underneath Technoblade as the piglin tried swinging his hoof one more time. Right before Techno managed to connect the punch, Tommy screwed his eyes shut as he turned his head away, shoving the crown in his hands forward to be in Technoblade’s line of sight.</p>
<p>The world stopped on its axis just so the scene could be more dramatic. If Techno wasn’t currently losing it, he’d probably laugh at the inherent irony.</p>
<p>Suddenly, the white noise that had been ringing in his ears came to a sudden stop. Not only was he <i>not</i> dead, but he also wasn’t being sent to Unconscious Ville. Tommy cracked open one of his eyes to see what Technoblade was doing. The sight that greeted him made him snap both of them wide open and focus completely on his brother.</p>
<p>Techno seemed to be frozen in place. The piglin’s arm was out in front of him as if he were swinging it, but what was once a clenched fist was now an open palm- er, hoof. The limb in question gently grazed over the golden crown as if it would burn him, but once Techno made contact and felt the familiar smooth surface of his comfort item, it was snatched from Tommy’s grip at lightning speed. </p>
<p>Technoblade clutched the headwear close to his chest and fell to his knees, almost curling around it as if his body were a shield. <s>Just like Tommy did with it before.</s></p>
<p>Tommy tilted his head in confusion and concern, “Techno…?”</p>
<p>At some point, Phil had crawled over to sit next to Tommy as well, patiently waiting. The blonds ignored one another for the more important issue of Techno’s lack of response. Phil opened his mouth as if he was going to attempt to get the piglin’s attention, but before he could ask any questions, a gasp seemed to dramatically rip itself from Techno and minute trembles took over his body.</p>
<p>As Phil and Tommy scooted forward to try and comfort him Techno rapidly swung his head up to look at them. His eyes were blurry, still disoriented as he came down from his feral state. His breathing was heavy, but Phil and Tommy both felt the tension in their shoulders go away at the sight of the ever so small pupil in Techno’s eyes.</p>
<p>“I- I- <i>Phil,</i> I’m-” Techno sputtered out, completely at a loss for words. He racked his brain for the slightest idea of what he had just done. What the hell did he just do? What the <i>hell</i> did he just <i>do?</i></p>
<p>The older man just gazed sadly at his friend-son, and moved close enough (ignoring the small flinch Techno made) to lay a hand on Techno’s shoulder in an attempt to ground him, “Hey, it’s okay, mate, that wasn’t you.”</p>
<p>Tommy watched the piglin hesitate before fully letting all pretenses drop and leaning into Phil’s touch. He shoved his snout down into the older man’s shoulder, and Phil gently brought his arms around what he could. Techno was still much larger than him, even if he didn’t really feel like it at the moment.</p>
<p>Tommy felt as if he was intruding on an important moment between the two, so he quickly moved so he was up on one knee, but the scraping noise that came from it made him tense up. Looking back at Phil and Techno, he noticed that the noise had brought their attention to him. Yay, “Uh, ‘ello, chaps.”</p>
<p>Phil was a little in shock, but mostly contemplative as he tried connecting whatever dots that got Tommy in here with them. Techno, on the contrary, was letting his confusion and exhaustion fully overtake his face. Tommy was sweating bullets, and before he could let out an involuntary apology, Techno was straight to the point, “You saved me.”</p>
<p>Tommy grinned nervously and rubbed the back of his neck, “I meaaaaaaan, I guuuueeeess if you want to look at it like that, then, yah, I saved you. Case closed.”</p>
<p>His words only made the piglin scrunch his eyebrows in confusion even more, “That still doesn’t explain why you almost let me attack y-”</p>
<p>“Listen, <i>listen-</i>” Tommy rapidly stood up and held his arms out in front of him in a ‘please stop’ pose. “I out of all people would love to sit around and talk about how awesome I am, but I would prefer to do it <i>outside</i> the giant prison fortress thing we are currently in, okay? Can we please leave first before you kiss the ground I walk on?”</p>
<p>That made Techno level his iconic ‘are you serious’ look at him, which Tommy greatly preferred. He knew how to work with that, not… not whatever semi-concerned expression he was receiving earlier. Tommy sighed in relief as Phil stood up, helping Techno up as well. The three of them looked awkwardly around at one another before Tommy abruptly turned around and walked over to the sort-of-ladder-looking wall to use.</p>
<p>Phil and Techno glanced at one another before sighing. They resigned any questions they had at the moment for later as they followed the youngest’s lead. It was a little bit of work, but eventually, they all made it back to the top.</p>
<p>Suddenly, slow applause filled the air around them, echoing off the walls of the pit below, and Tommy could feel all the blood drain from his body. Phil and Techo were already facing in the direction of the claps, so Tommy was the only one who had to turn around to look at the now very angry Dream. Oh, you might not have been able to see his face, but if Tommy’s exile taught him anything, it was that Dream’s body language screamed barely contained <i>rage.</i></p>
<p>But if he was that mad, then why didn’t he just jump down and-</p>
<p>It hit Tommy with a sickening blow: Dream had been <i>waiting</i> for them. Waiting for them to exhaust what little energy that may have been left in their bodies that they could have used against them by climbing out. </p>
<p>Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck why was Tommy so <i>fucking stupid,</i> he should have realized-</p>
<p>The masked man shook his head, “I should have known something like this would fuck everything up. Oh well.” Dream proceeded to pull out a sword and examine it for a second as if he was checking its sharpness, “I was going to do this to Techno after everything was said and done, but I guess I have no choice now. I suppose this will be a little more fun, I’ve been meaning to work out.”</p>
<p>Dream stalked towards them, spinning his sword in his hand purely to flex what power he held over them at that moment. The white noise had come back abruptly, ringing in Tommy's ears like the village bell Techno kept in his attic. Before he could help himself, before he could pass out or try and book it to the other end of the prison, he found himself harkening back to a previous conversation, one that had been haunting him for a good long while. Tommy couldn’t stop the pure fury from escaping his lips, “<i>You’re too fun.</i>”</p>
<p>These words stopped Dream in his tracks. The two sort-of-family-members started staring at the blond in confusion and slight horror. They had no idea what on Earth that could have meant, and it certainly didn’t help how Dream quite literally <i>put his sword away</i> and now stood deathly still. There was something here that was bigger than either of them combined, and it was painfully obvious the only two in the know about it were Dream and Tommy.</p>
<p>Tommy walked forward as he spoke, away from Phil and Techno, putting himself between them and Dream. He almost thought he could see his breaths puff up in front of him. When did it get so cold in here? “You said those exact words to me, remember? <i>You’re too fun you’re too fun you’re too fun</i> god I hate to admit it but it’s one of the few things I’ve been able to clearly think about these past few weeks!” Tommy threw his hands up in annoyance when he stopped moving, but deep down it was a coverup for his fear. He knew that, and he bet Dream did too, “So tell me you remember them. You never do anything without reason so you better fucking remember them.”</p>
<p>Dream was relaxed as ever, as if he had expected something like this, as if he had <i>planned</i> it even, “Yes, Tommy, I do believe I remember saying those words.”</p>
<p>Tommy somehow found the strength to bring his hand to his chest, clenching at the shirt that covered his rapidly beating heart. The trembles that racked his body were as clear as day, obvious to anyone who looked, but he pressed on anyway. <i>Be a hero be a hero be a hero-</i> “You… you are strangely and sadistically obsessed with me. It’s something I’ve realized for a while but never really took the time to vocalize it or think about too hard, but it is true, yeah?”</p>
<p>Dream took a few tense seconds before he responded, “... You would be right about that, yes.”</p>
<p>Tommy tried to focus on the bit of shirt he had clenched in his hand in an attempt to ground himself in reality, “So… let’s make a deal then, huh? I have a proposition for you.”</p>
<p>Techno and Phil were already reeling from the first part of the conversation, and before they had even a moment to process that part or the next, Dream marched on like this was an absolutely normal interaction, “Hmm, I’ll bite for now. What is it?”</p>
<p>Tommy took a deep breath to organize his thoughts before unclenching his hand and laying flat on his chest and finally glaring at Dream, “Me.”</p>
<p>Phil and Techno instinctively moved into a fight-or-flight stance (discreetly, they weren’t about to remind Dream that he was originally going to stab them during Tommy’s distraction, at least they <i>hoped</i> it was just a distraction) while Dream only ever so slightly tilted his head in <i>interest.</i> Phil thought he was going to be sick. </p>
<p>Dream continued yet again, purposefully oblivious to the turmoil within the family in front of him, “Oh? I do say, you have me intrigued already. Please, continue.”</p>
<p>This was it, Tommy’s big bang. He could only hope Wilbur would be proud, “In- In exchange for leaving everyone alone, Tubbo, Eret, Puffy, Ghostbur, Quickity, Sapnap, hell, even these two assholes and whoever else I don’t have the capacity to say out loud, meaning they will no longer have to live in fear of whatever- whatever bullshit you want to pull that day of the week, I... I...”</p>
<p>He watched Dream inhale and exhale lethargically throughout the boy’s stipulation. Tommy knew <i>Dream</i> knew where the kid was going with this, but he was trying to weigh all the pros and cons of the situation before he fully agreed with the premise. That didn’t stop Dream from prodding the conversation along anyway, “I’m guessing you would be giving yourself up for that, correct?”</p>
<p>Tommy felt himself frantically nodding his head like a dog desperately wanting its owner’s approval. Tommy stopped nodding for a moment to be disgusted with himself (seriously he’s not your friend don’t forget that-), but then looked back at Dream anyway. He aggressively ignored the need to throw up clawing its way through his throat, “Uh-huh, you would have me and my discs at your beck and call, your utter mercy. <i>You’re too fun,</i> well, let’s see if you really believe that. I’ll go with you after you let these dumbasses out and promise to leave everyone alone. If I’m as much fun as you say I am, then it should be plenty enough compensation for my terms.”</p>
<p>“T-Tommy…” Techno suddenly found some kind of words. He stuttered, which he was already doing too much of recently, “What are-”</p>
<p>“<i>Zip it,</i> Techno. The <i>adults are speaking.</i>” Tommy threw his very uncharacteristic glare towards the piglin to emphasize his point.</p>
<p>Technoblade reared back slightly as if Tommy had slapped him. Deep down the blond felt guilty, but the blood roaring in his ears made it impossible for him to focus on that. Breathing only a little labored, Tommy threw his arms out, looking back at Dream and gesturing to just about everything for dramatic effect, “It’s everything you’ve ever wanted, is it not?! So what do you say?”</p>
<p>Dream said nothing, did nothing, only looking at him. Tommy could feel the judging gaze on him even from behind the porcelain.  </p>
<p>Tommy let out a noise that could be considered practically a growl, “<i>Answer m-</i>”</p>
<p>“Scout’s honor?” Dream finally said.</p>
<p>Tommy’s angry and fierce demeanor broke instantaneously, “Wh- Huh?”</p>
<p>The masked man crossed his arms, “Scout’s honor basically means ‘yes, I swear above all else that I mean what I say.’ So I guess I’m just making sure you're not trying to pull the rug out from under me. Do you swear on your discs- on <i>Tubbo</i> even, why not- that you will uphold your end of the deal?”</p>
<p>Tommy blinked a few times before inhaling and giving Dream his most serious look yet, “Do you?”</p>
<p><i>That</i> caused Dream to falter only just a little bit. In the end, he simply started chuckling and walked over to get closer to the kid, “Tommy, unlike you, I’ve admitted to being somewhat shitty, everyone knows I have. But I’m not a <i>dick,</i> if there’s any dignity I have left, it’s in upholding favors. We can put it this way: my favor is leaving Tubbo and the rest of everybody alone, and your favor is coming with me and doing everything I say, got it? It’ll be a challenge trying to match up to him, but if Techno can uphold favors I believe you can too.”</p>
<p>There were two very obvious moments while Dream was speaking where Tommy flinched at what was said but proceeded to do nothing else. No talking back, not a single angry grunt or sputter, Tommy just… stood there, and let Dream rip into every little piece of him. At this point, Phil and Techno were marginally closer to the two deal-makers, but they still were far enough away where they would need to take a leap of faith to physically touch one of them.</p>
<p>(Why would they need to touch them? They’re not a part of this conversation, they don’t need to be concerned-)</p>
<p>Exhaling shakily, Tommy rolled his shoulders and brought his hand up as slowly as possible. Everyone watched as it stopped in the very familiar position of waiting to be shaken, “I- I will uphold everything I just promised, as long as y-you uphold all of what you said as well. It’s u-up to you, Big D, how long I end up f-follwing you.”</p>
<p>Time froze. No one moved. No one uttered a peep of noise. It was as if life itself was standing still in anticipation for this very moment.</p>
<p>Then, Dream clapped once and let out only a singular laugh, “Wonderful! I knew deep down you could always come back and learn your place.” Dream’s walking was a little bit faster, eager to close the deal before Tommy could back out, and suddenly he was only a few inches in front of Tommy, <i>towering</i> above the boy. They were very similar in height, but at this moment, Tommy felt extremely small, “I really am sorry it took so much to get you to realize. I mean, I didn’t <i>want</i> it to go this far, but it just takes so much to get it through that thick noggin of yours.”</p>
<p>Tommy watched in slow motion as Dream’s hand came up to his to seal the deal. Not being able to fully bear what he accepted, Tommy tightly closed his eyes and tried picturing something that he could focus on, something that could bring him momentary joy before he was thrust back into the everlasting hell he deserved.</p>
<p>What he ended up with was unsurprisingly a short brunette with the brightest and most optimistic eyes, buzzing bees flying around him happily. Tommy was glad he closed his eyes. If he hadn’t, scorching tears would surely be running down his face</p>
<p>
  <i>Sorry, Tubs. I’m sorry for everything. For L’Manberg, for George’s house, for Dream, for- for everything, really. I hope you find it in yourself to forgive me and let go.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>I’m sorry.</i>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Tommyinnit has earned the achievement <i><b>[The Minotaur Hath Been Slain]</b></i></p>
<p> </p>
<p>buT ON A MORE /SRS NOTE THIS IS ONE OF THE SCENES I FIRST IMAGINED WHEN COMING UP FOR THE PREMISE OF THIS FIC AND ITS FINALLY HERE AAAAAAAAAAAA IM SO HAPPY ALKFKNDS i hope i did it justice, easily top three of my favorite things ive outlined out and i finally MADE IT EEEEEEEEE</p>
<p>once again thank you to my lovely friends in discord, three of them offered to beta for me and im jsut anflsdkfsd what have i done to earn friends with such amazing talent &lt;3&lt;3&lt;3 ghost, quaxy, and nerdy if you see this ily /p (dont ask about the adventures we had in editing this holy shit it was one hell of a RIDE-)</p>
<p>If you wish to scream at me here's my <a href="https://halorocks1214.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. the kids aint alright</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A deal reaches an interesting yet unique conclusion... :)</p>
<p>(Outside, the tides continue to rage aggressively, leaving the beach to erode ever so slightly every time the water crashes against it)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>cw for some hella self-worth issues and panic attacks etc etc. tommy has a little bit of a mental breakdown in this one, and tubbo also still isnt really doing Okay because these kids are hurting man</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Techno wasn’t sure whatever the hell he was watching but he knew he couldn’t let it go on much longer.</p>
<p>With the fury of a thousand suns, his brain managed to whip up some hidden adrenaline he must have had left and wrapped his arm around Tommy’s waist and hoisted him over his shoulder. Next thing he knew he was booking it away from everyone, hopefully with only one man clad in green chasing him.</p>
<p>Who was he kidding, it was going to be both.</p>
<p>Regardless, the only other thing in his mind outside of desperately trying to think of what to do next was the voices screaming <b>PROTECT. RUN. KILL. BLOOD. DEATH. VIOLENCE-</b> and he was not having it. He was already confused at a level that was unacceptable, he didn’t need his voices ripping him in half in the process.</p>
<p>Techno wasn’t sure how long he ran for, especially considering he knew he could run for a long ass time, but he knew it was for at least a little bit, considering the area around him was completely different looking and unfamiliar once he was able to focus again. He turned his head to look at his older mentor, who saw Techno do that out of the corner of his eye and responded immediately.</p>
<p>“Do you think we lost him?” Phil asked, heavily out of breath and using one arm to lean against the wall.</p>
<p>Not exactly as if Techno was doing much better. Honestly, if he wasn’t carrying an entire body he would probably be doing the exact same thing, “If we did, it’ll be a very brief rest. I don’t even think we truly got away. Knowing him, this break is on purpose and we need to be on guard even if we think there’s no way he’s near.”</p>
<p>Phil opened his mouth to say something, most likely in agreement or some opinion on how to make the situation easier, but once the blood stopped rushing to their ears and the adrenaline died off slightly, they both heard muffled screeching, as well as that Techno felt bony fists beat into his back.</p>
<p>Right, the whole reason they were like this in the first place.</p>
<p>Pulling Tommy away from his shoulder to hold him out in front of himself with both arms as if the kid were a new toy, he watched as Tommy’s anger only grew stronger, maybe even morph into something else. He kept swinging his fists to pound against the arms holding him hostage, “Let me <i>go</i> let me the <i>fuck</i> go! What the <i>fuck</i> was that you selfish <i>bitch-</i>”</p>
<p>Seeing Tommy scream and curse every word under the sun wasn’t exactly new, but Techno would be lying if he said this time wasn’t even a little unnerving. Glancing over to Phil and seeing the confused and pained look on the man’s face, Techno believed he was in the same position as him.</p>
<p>Gods, Tommy was still going at it, what in the world- “Tommy, calm down, there’s no-”</p>
<p>Techno very suddenly felt something grabby latch onto his tusks and <i>yank.</i> Gasping in shock and pain, he dropped the boy, who proceeded to crawl a few feet away and look back up at Techno with the angriest glare he could muster. He was still on all fours and breathing like a drowned man after being given CPR. The breaths were very shaky and choppy, almost sounding like something was very lightly blocking his throat every half a second.</p>
<p>Meanwhile, Techno still had his hand on his mouth and felt a little bit of familiar anger at what just went down, “Tommy, what the <i>hell</i> was <i>that?</i>”</p>
<p>Tommy stared at him for a second before laughing once. Then laughing again. Then he broke out into chuckles that eerily reminded Techno of another worn down and tired brother on the brink of... something not healthy, “<i>Me?!</i> What the fuck is up with <i>you?!</i> Why on the green grass of this world would you <i>intervene</i> in that?! It was <i>WORKING!</i>”</p>
<p>Techno felt very uncomfortable for some reason and thus wasn’t able to respond. Phil, who was just as uncomfortable but had much more experience with that kind of icky emotion spoke for the piglin, “Tommy, Techno just <i>saved</i> you, what’s with the theatrics?”</p>
<p>This new laugh Tommy had was something Tecnho wanted gone very soon, “<i>That’s what I should be asking!</i> Why aren’t <i>you</i> upset, huh?” Tommy got up on his knees and pointed at Phil before turning back to Techno with the same finger, “Why aren’t <i>you?!</i> Answer me! I was fixing all your fucking problems, wasn’t I?!”</p>
<p>Techno’s blood shouldn’t have run cold at that, he shouldn’t <i>care</i> so much about the implications behind those words, “What would’ve been fixed, Tommy?! That makes no se-”</p>
<p>“Dream would be gone. Boom, one problem fixed,” Tommy pointed out smoothly, one finger coming up as if he were counting. “Whatever is left of L’Manberg wouldn’t have to deal with my sorry excuse of a griefing ass,” and another finger, “And you <i>fuckers</i> can forget all about the dumbass traitor that ruined your <i>lives,</i> what could <i>possibly</i> be a downside to this?!”</p>
<p>Techno kept glancing at Phil a lot today, it seemed, but he knew that if he couldn’t find an answer himself, the avian-hybrid could. But judging how the complexion of Phil’s skin made the man look practically like Ghostbur, Techno figured he was on his own at the worst possible moment, “Okay, answer me this, what about you getting thrown into Dream’s slimy hands isn’t a <i>downside?</i>”</p>
<p>Techno realized Tommy’s choppy breathing was still happening (which he very suddenly realized he hated), and Tommy was once <i>again</i> doing that terrible, terrible laugh when none of this should be funny, “Me? <i>Fuck</i> me! At this point, nothing about me matters anymore! Dream has made it very clear about two things: he wants absolute control, and he wants to play with us, <i>especially</i> me. If he can have one of those, he most likely won’t care about the other, and we all know what’s the most reasonable out of the two.”</p>
<p>Tommy finally stood up and both Techno and Phil had to physically restrain themselves from rushing and helping his shaky and fragile (when did he get so <i>bony</i> again?) form from falling back on its ass. Tommy used one of his arms to wipe away his tears and took one last choppy deep breath before looking Techno in the eyes with a serious yet apathetic look, “I’m going back and fixing the dumb mess I caused. It’s the least I could do for everyone. You <i>wanted</i> me to be Theseus, remember?”</p>
<p>Techno watched as more tears fell from the younger blond’s face once again, and this time, he didn’t make a move to get rid of them. Tommy shook his head and looked down at the floor as he began walking past Techno, “I should have expected I’m too far for apologies to be accepted. Heh, guess I’m more like Theseus than I-”</p>
<p>Something in Techno snapped, and before Tommy could take another step, he felt big, burly arms wrap around his shoulders and trap him in an embrace. The hitting and swatting was back, and Techno was sure he could hear and feel certain muffled curse words being yelled into his shoulder and chest, but he wasn’t letting go.</p>
<p>Why wasn’t he letting go? A few weeks ago he pretty much didn’t give a shit if the kid <i>died,</i> he personally shot rockets at the boy himself! So what was different here? Tommy would be getting sent to his death with Dream, <i>voluntarily</i> (Techno felt himself shudder out of nowhere), so why wasn’t he all for it? Why make such an effort from that happening when Tommy was just on his last life-</p>
<p>Oh, right, Tommy was on his last life, which meant Dream wasn’t going to get close to killing him any time soon. It sounded like Dream wanted a new plaything of sorts, and knowing what Dream was capable of, Techno wasn’t going to let that happen.</p>
<p>After being relentlessly tormented by the Teletubby, Techno wouldn’t wish Dream’s wrath on his worst enemies, and considering Tommy declared himself to be that, Techno had an obligation to make sure he was suited comfortably into his new role. Yep, Tommy decided to be his enemy and Techno was making sure Tommy understood that by ensuring the idiot didn’t unnecessarily throw himself into never-ending torture. That was it.</p>
<p>It had to be.</p>
<p>He came back to reality once he realized Tommy had finally stopped hitting him and was instead full-on sobbing into his chest. The kid wasn’t even wrapping his arms back in a reciprocal motion, he was just limp and crying as if that was all that was left for him in this world.</p>
<p>Slowly kneeling and bringing Tommy with him, only tightening his arms around the boy to make sure he didn’t fall backward and out of his grasp, they were soon both back on the ground with Tommy crying and Techno holding him. He wasn’t sure how long they were there before Tommy simply passed out from exhaustion. Something in the back of Techno’s mind told him that with how long they were able to sit there, that meant Dream was very much letting them do so, but he also uncharacteristically didn’t care about it at the moment.</p>
<p>Looking back up at Phil, whose skin tone hadn’t really improved, maybe even got worse, Techno shook his head, “What the hell does this all mean, Phil?”</p>
<p>“... I don’t know,” Phil’s wings drooped ever so slightly, almost as if he had lost some kind of battle he wasn’t aware he was fighting. “I genuinely don’t know.”</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>Ranboo started to think that he should have done a better job at keeping up with Ghostbur.</p>
<p>Because once he broke through the bushes to see Ghostbur talking to everyone staying at <i>Camp Investigation</i> (seriously why did they let the ghost pick the name), oh dear, he realized that someone with a filter probably should have been there to be a buffer. Especially with such a large audience. Ranboo barely registered Tubbo coming up next to him to examine the scene before them as well.</p>
<p>Eret and Puffy were horrified, plain and simple. Sapnap seemed to be slightly confused, but also mainly baffled. Ranboo could only assume Ghostbur mentioned Dream was sighted. Quackity had an expression that was a mix between the three of them, anger sprinkled in his eyes as well. The only two Ranboo couldn’t get a read on was Niki and Fundy. Their expressions were both shrouded over and dark, which-</p>
<p>“Uughh I knew that brat would do something idiotic,” Niki stated plainly.</p>
<p>… What?</p>
<p>Ranboo and Tubbo both turned their heads to look at Niki with wide eyes, completely at a loss for words. What could they say to that? <i>What the hell could they say to that?</i></p>
<p>Eret sounded breathless and just as speechless, “Niki…”</p>
<p>However, Fundy seemed to find his words just fine, “I knew this was a bad idea, and now it got even worse. Why am I not surprised?”</p>
<p>Quackity and Sapnap were just blinking, unsure of how to respond either. Quackity tried his best, at least, “Oooookay, Fundy, you’re not entirely wrong, but, that was a little charged there, Niki. What the hell?”</p>
<p>Niki crossed her arms, “Tommy has been causing trouble since day one! He’s been involved in all the wars, he’s droned on and on about those stupid discs and he won’t make up his mind! He teamed up with Techno, only to hate him during Doomsday, now he wants to save him? Tommy is all over the place and I’m <i>sick of it.</i> If this is what it takes for him to learn his lesson then so be it!”</p>
<p>Fundy crossed his arms as well, even going so far as to scoff, “At this point, I’m electing to agree. Let’s let a dying horse just die already before something more important is lost.”</p>
<p>“Niki and Fundy!” Eret gasped out after finding his energy, causing the two of them to flinch. “What is <i>happening</i> to you two? Do you even believe the words you’re saying? Are you lashing out? I’m <i>trying</i> to listen and help, but it’s hard to do when you won’t give me anything other than being angry! Please, I just want you guys to be happy, and you have to believe me that whatever you’re thinking isn’t the way to achieve it.”</p>
<p>Tubbo glanced over at Puffy as everyone delved into arguments again. He would have expected her to chastise at least Niki, not maliciously, but concerned with a hint of horror since Niki was acting considerably out of character. Instead, the sheep-hybrid was focused completely on him, her thumb and pointer finger gently holding her chin in a thinking position. She was concerned for the boy, seeing his slightly pale complexion and slightly wide eyes as if he had a nightmare before coming here. She was just trying to decipher what happened before he showed up, noticing nothing else out of the ordinary.</p>
<p>But Tubbo, tired, freaked-out Tubbo, who wasn’t sure his best friend was even alive anymore, a friend very few seemed to care about as well, suddenly remembered that he wasn’t able to properly hide his horns like he usually did. Nobody could see them, enough hair covered them up and everyone was too busy focusing on being mad at random things to notice his weird hairstyle, but considering there were two people already here that now knew about them before he was ready, what else was Tubbo supposed to do outside of panic?</p>
<p>Stunning everyone out of their arguments, Tubbo tripped and fell backward, practically screeching “NO! You <i>can’t-</i>” while bringing his hands over his head in a cupping motion. Every adult looked at the panicking ex-president sitting on the ground with varying levels of concern and horror. They weren’t sure if they should approach the trembling child starting to cry out of fear of making it worse, especially since none of them actually knew <i>why</i> it was happening.</p>
<p>Luckily, Ranboo knew staying close to Tubbo would be the smart move. He knelt to wrap his arms around his friend, shushing him in a comforting way, “Hey, listen to my breathing. It’s going to be okay, nobody saw, and Tommy will be back out here safe and sound before you can even hear him say ‘Pogchamp’.”</p>
<p>Before anyone could decipher what ‘nobody saw’ meant, Tubbo giggled and the slight jab at his best friend. It was a minute or so of the two kids on the ground before either of them made a move to stand. The way Ranboo swamped Tubbo in height helped greatly when the brunette shoved his face slightly into the enderman hybrid’s side, Ranboo electing to leave his arms around the shorter boy’s shoulders since he continued to shake from the adrenaline. Tubbo’s arms were squeezing Ranboo so much you could see his clothing stretch from the force.</p>
<p>After making sure Tubbo was situated enough to calm down at his own pace, Ranboo looked back up at the group in front of him and glared at them, “I can’t believe this is even still happening. You’re all so- so obsessed with being right and getting the final blow in that you’re willing to throw basic morality to the wind! Niki, I thought you <i>loved</i> Tommy and literally prided yourself on being a big sister to him. And Fundy, you talk about ‘taking sides’ yet it feels like you’re out here refusing to take any other than your own!”</p>
<p>Fundy bristled, tail visibly getting more fluffy from anger, “Oh that’s rich coming from the guy basically doing the same thing.”</p>
<p>“I’m not taking <i>my</i> side!” Ranboo snapped, continually upset that he phrased his main argument the way he did. If that’s all they see it as then he should have worded it better, apparently, “Honestly, I <i>want</i> to ‘pick a side’ here, but it feels like no matter who I choose someone is just going to end up killing themselves over it! That’s not <i>healthy,</i> it’s stubbornness on a toxic level. </p>
<p>Sapnap finally found a way to sneak into the conversation, “Ranboo, are you seriously suggesting that we just concede and let Techno and Phil technically be ‘right’?”</p>
<p>“I’m not saying they’re right!” Ranboo groaned out. “I’m saying <i>look at yourselves!</i>”</p>
<p>Everyone immediately froze, and Ranboo continued before they could unfreeze, “Don’t you see what this cycle is doing to everyone? It’s <i>killing you,</i> it’s ripping you and your friends into <i>shreds.</i> This cycle of violence needs to end with <i>someone,</i> and yeah, it’s going to sting after an event such as Doomsday, it’s going to feel like you’re giving up in the short-run, but let me be the first to say that you’ll at least be alive in the long-run to realize that breaking the cycle was the right decision!” Ranboo to a sec to look at Tubbo to make sure his friend didn’t look like he was going to fall over. He continued to rub comforting circles into the teenager’s back.</p>
<p>Focusing back on everyone else, Ranboo no longer felt guilt at the sight of their chastised expressions (outside of Puffy and Eret, who he mentally made a note to go talk to for being nice to him despite, well, everything), and took a deep breath. He made every point he wanted to make, so now he was waiting for someone to respond.</p>
<p>Quackity, being the genuinely smart person he was, kept the debate going, “Ranboo, I don’t know if you noticed, but <i>our</i> homes weren’t the only ones turned into a giant hole that goes down to bedrock. There is so much more here than just a ‘cycle of violence’, and it’s not really okay that we just have to say <i>well we’re not strong enough to be right so there’s no point in trying!</i>”</p>
<p>Ranboo grimaced, because Quackity wasn’t entirely wrong, “Yeah, like I said, I never said they were- were <i>right</i> or we deserved what happened, I’m just saying no more Butcher Armies… or at least no more Butcher Armies that break windows and refuse to give trials. No more forcing your child president into split-second decisions and then getting mad he made the wrong one.”</p>
<p>Quackity didn’t make any movements like he had been slapped, but the expression he wore gave the idea that just punching him would have hurt less. Maybe Ranboo was being unfair, but everyone had a moment to be unfair recently, Ranboo deserved a fucking turn. Especially when it came to his friends’ well-being.</p>
<p>Breaking the serious tension was Tubbo sneezing. It was a convenient (or inconvenient maybe, who knew how Tubbo saw it) tiny kitten-like sneeze, much smaller than his normal gigantic ones, that broke the tension momentarily. The temperature was pretty cold, so Ranboo rubbed his shoulders to bring some heat back into his shaking friend’s body.</p>
<p>Eventually, Ranboo gently let go, his clawed hands hovering carefully over Tubbo’s shoulders in case the older kid wanted to be comforted by touch again, “You good, Tubbs?”</p>
<p>Tubbo shakily nodded, sniffing the remaining tears out of his eyes. He was using a thumb to clear his tear tracks while nonchalantly asking, “Where did Ghostbur go?”</p>
<p>And if there was any other question that would have made quite literally everyone freak out harder, it would have been difficult to find, because as soon as Tubbo was done talking, the adults all rapidly looked around to see that Ghostbur, was in fact, not with them anymore. It was a few seconds of frantic looking around before Puffy finally pointed, “Look!”</p>
<p>Everyone swung their heads to lay their eyes upon the mysterious fortress, Ghostbur uncomfortably close to it and examining it as if it was a harmless object. Before anyone else could yell something, the next thing they all proceeded to watch was Ghostbur shoving his face through the wall, followed by the rest of his body, the building swallowing him whole.</p>
<p>Well.</p>
<p>Shit.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>see guys :) tommy is fine :)) im not that cruel :)))</p>
<p>also i swear niki and fundy being jerks is going to go somewhere im not going to have them be jackasses forever afjknksndf im hoping to mesh their current canon storylines with this AU in a certain way so *crosses fingers*</p>
<p>also also arctic bois pov pog, time to get in their headspaces a little bit. im hoping to explore more of ranboo and his trauma later down the line as well because THE KIDS AINT ALRIGHT MAN :cries: </p>
<p>i was not able to get a beta for this chapter so please kindly let me know if anything particularly stands out as bad &lt;3<br/>If you wish to scream at me here's my <a href="https://halorocks1214.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. the ghost of you is close to me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>TommyInnit can't seem to escape the idea of losing no matter where he is</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>(spoilers for this chap a lil bit) cw for self-worth issues, mentions of panic-attack type behavior and after-effects of abuse and trauma, one mention of a dead major character but its very brief and not actually real (night terror pog)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>The smell of ash and gunpowder had become normal for Tommy.</i>
</p><p><i>He was back over the once-L’Manberg, the obsidian grid floating above the crater really driving home the fact that he doesn’t have one anymore. L’Manberg is gone, everyone he loved has every right to not want to be with him, and the ones that </i>are<i> most likely feel something out of a strange sense of pity for the hapless child-</i></p><p>
  <i>“Hello, Tommy.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Snapping his head around, Tommy looked into the fake eyes of Dream’s mask. The green hoodie stood stark against the blackened sky, fireworks and pained roars of withers reverberating in the air around them. Tommy felt one of his feet take a small step back, but for the most part, all he could do was tense up and wait for whatever was about to happen, happen.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>It’s not like that would be a new thing for him.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Dream let out three tsks in a row, like a disappointed parent, “I’m sorry it took this much to get you to realize what needed to be done, Tommy. I didn’t want to go this far, but it just takes so much to get it through your thick noggin, yeah?”</i>
</p><p><i>Tommy could feel trembles start in his shoulders, nodding his head a little bit purely in a fear response if Tommy didn’t do anything else. Where was Tubbo where was Tubbo where was Tubbo why wasn’t he </i>with him-<i></i></p><p>
  <i>“Poor poor Tommy, all alone,” Dream spoke as if the older man read his mind. “Tubbo running off to try and save a country Tommy couldn’t. Maybe he’s already dead! Or maybe he’s fled the scene, eager to leave someone who clearly doesn’t value him. What was that you said? ‘The discs are worth mo-’”</i>
</p><p><i>“No!” Tommy screamed before he could help himself. He knew he fucked up, he knew that was the worst worst </i>worst<i> thing he could have possibly said, which is why he hasn’t brought </i>that<i> topic up since then. Not Tubbo dropping hints about where they could be made him talk. Not even </i>Eret’s<i> attempt at getting him a </i>jukebox<i> would make him bring them up again, “I-I’ve learned my lesson I swear, I </i>didn’t-<i>”</i></p><p>
  <i>Abruptly freezing, Tommy realized that he interrupted Dream. Again.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Feeling the blood drain from his face, Tommy focused back on the porcelain mask. He could never see Dream’s face, but he knew when the man was angry. Right now? Dream was very, very enraged, “What did I say about talking back?”</i>
</p><p><i>Those trembles became outright shaking instantaneously, “N-No I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m s-</i>sorry<i> I didn’t mean to Dream PLEASE-”</i></p><p>
  <i>Tommy jumped back when Dream pulled an axe out, but instead of being struck down with it as he expected, Dream pointed to the new canyon below them, “Armor in the hole, Tommy.”</i>
</p><p><i>Blinking, Tommy wasn’t aware when he got armor back on again but he wasn’t going to try too hard to solve the mystery. He upset Dream. He upset </i>Dream,<i> a person who was just trying to help him-</i></p><p><i>Tommy clawed at the chest plate straps with vigor, like a rabid animal, “I-It’s not coming off it won’t come </i>off-<i>” Tommy looked up at Dream with tears in his eyes, terrified of what would happen. “D-Dream </i>please<i> I know I’m b-bad but I s-</i>swear<i> it’s not c-coming off-”</i></p><p>
  <i>Flinching at the light touch of hands on his shoulders, Tommy looked up into Dream’s mask once more. He was stuck in the hard middle of still wanting to pass out but being oddly comforted by the action, “It’s okay, Toms. Believe it or not, I trust you this time. I can see it won’t come off.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Tommy grinned, happy that Dream believed him, but that grin soon fell off his face when he felt those same gentle hands roughly pick him up by his collar and hold him off the obsidian grid. Tommy grabbed at the wrists and tried weakly kicking, but nothing he did could dislodge the iron grip currently holding his life by a thread.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I believe you, Tommy,” Dream repeated cooly. “But we still need that armor in the hole.”</i>
</p><p><i>Tommy sobbed, kicking even harder than before. No matter what he did, he couldn’t get Dream to stop. “Please please please Dream I can’t please I </i>can’t-<i>”</i></p><p><i>Looking below himself, Tommy’s words were choked off at the sight of the crater being much, much deeper than he remembered. Was there even bedrock down there? It was all </i>black,<i> like an endless cavern. If Dream dropped him it was 50/50 on whether or not Tommy would actually hit the ground at some point from what it looked like.</i></p><p>
  <i>Tommy turned around and gasped. Dream was no longer holding him. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>Techno’s hooves had a firm grasp on his tiny, tiny body. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“You want to be a hero, Tommy?” Techno’s bright white eyes bore into his soul. “After everything you did?”</i>
</p><p><i>Tommy was so exhausted and scared, he was stuck halfway between still trying to break out, still sobbing, and just letting it happen. He read up on Theseus’ story. He knew this was going to happen. Didn’t mean he particularly </i>liked<i> it. </i></p><p><i>Techno’s grip slackened, and Tommy got one last look at the piglin’s glare before he felt himself falling, “Then </i>die<i> like one.”</i></p><p>
  <i>Much less subdued than his speech on the 16th, it was more of a statement rather than a proclamation, Techno spoke the last words Tommy would ever hear before fully letting go. The next thing Tommy knew, he was falling, falling, falling. He turned around to splay himself in a starfish position. He knew that seeing how he was going to die might make it worse, but maybe he at least deserved that knowledge.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>He cried out at the sight of a dead Tubbo falling next to him, but once he blinked the sight was gone, leaving him to wonder if that was real- if he really did screw up that badly. Regardless, everything was hitting him at a mile a minute, so when he looked away from the mirage of his best friend, he saw that below him was no longer a black abyss.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>It was Dream’s mask, big and giant. Even if Tommy could fly away and try to avoid splatting on the object, it was simply too big for him. He didn’t have enough time to move far enough to achieve avoiding it. His torment would start and end with Dream.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>How fitting.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>The white porcelain got brighter and brighter and brighter and-</i>
</p><p>Tommy woke up with a desperate gasp, and he genuinely would not have screamed, he usually doesn’t, but this is the second time Ghostbur’s pale face appeared a mere few inches in front of his own. Tommy loved his brother but goddamn was there better ways of saying good morning.</p><p>Sitting up and scooting away, Tommy was too deep in wondering how the hell Ghostbur was here now as well to notice the way Techno and Philza came rushing back around the corner they were standing behind to see what was wrong. Instead of unbridled terror filling their chest at the sight, they blinked. </p><p>“Ghostbur?” Techno asked out loud.</p><p>The ghost in question turned around with his stereotypical grin, “Technoblade! And Phil! You’re all here!”</p><p>The three alive members looked at one another before Phil spoke for them while Tommy stood up, “Yes, we are, Ghostbur. And it seems you’re here too.”</p><p>Ghostbur giggled, bringing his hand up to his chin like a small child, “Oh this is wonderful! Everyone’s been so concerned- well, maybe not <i>everyone</i> everyone but even those guys who are acting like they don’t care want to know what’s happening! Let me guess, you guys maybe need new stuff since you have nothing on you right now, right?”</p><p>Techno was unsure if he could be more confused than before, but now he has his answer. Yes, he absolutely could, “I mean, yeah, but Ghostbur, who is-”</p><p>“Hang on! Let me talk with them and figure out a plan!” Ghostbur shouted back at them before phasing through the wall like it was open air. That must have been how he got in as well.</p><p>“Wait.” Techno stated eloquently. “He’s allowed to go through the walls. Just like that. And yet we’re stuck in here.”</p><p>Awkward silence filled the area around them.</p><p>“... This is bullshit,” Tommy admitted with exasperation.</p><p>The older men behind him muttered similar grievances to the situation.</p><p>Tommy groaned, “Great, now I’m stuck in here with you for longer than I want to be.” </p><p>Technoblade immediately knew who that was directed at, “As if me being stuck in here with you is any better! I never signed up for this either!”</p><p>Phil tried to be the middleman, “Guys, let’s maybe save the spats for outside-”</p><p>“Really?” Tommy yelled back, completely bulldozing Phil to get his argument in. He hasn’t been able to for three weeks, cut him some slack for jumping at the first opportunity, “I’m stuck in here with the asshole that betrayed me!”</p><p>Techno’s tusks were starting to bare themselves, oh boy, “Excuse me? I betrayed <i>you?</i> Hah! That’s oh so <i>rich</i> coming from your traitorous mouth.”</p><p>Tommy seemed to back down ever so slightly at that, but not enough to stop altogether, “You fucking did it first! You did it way before anything I may have done! You killed <i>Tubbo!</i>”</p><p>“Somebody else was going to, Tommy!” Techno argued, the familiar words jumping to his tongue like always. He found himself standing at his full height, almost leaning over Tommy, “There was a whole audience watching and waiting for the big moment to happen, and none of them were letting up! I don’t know how many more times I have to say that to get it through your thick, <i>childish</i> skull!”</p><p>Tommy flinched very visibly and took one step back. Taking a deep breath and blinking, he eventually sagged his shoulders and started lightly hugging himself, refusing to meet Techno’s enraged eyes all of a sudden, “Heh, right, <i>peer pressure.</i> Tubbo needs someone to tell him that the lever they’re pulling has nothing to do with him when he’s in the same room. It prevents him from entering a panic attack for the rest of the day. Learning the hard way sucked, not even Quackity was able to get him to stop apologizing.”</p><p>Techno stopped in his tracks, fully taking in whatever the hell that meant, “What?”</p><p>Tommy shrugged, <i>shrugged,</i> like he knew his opinion wouldn’t do anything to sway the ending, “Tubbo told me about the Butcher Army, which, thanks for not informing me of that important tidbit of info. Would have been nice to know that my best friend was bullied into trying to potentially murder a guy I remember he didn’t actually hate like everyone else did.”</p><p>Techno felt uneasy at those words. A cold, dark thing twisted in his chest, and dammit, he was better at speaking than this, why was he getting so choked up? “That’s-”</p><p>“Thanks for reminding me that I really don’t care anymore, Techno,” Tommy sighed out. “Maybe I did when I was with you, maybe I still did during Doomsday, but three weeks of doing nothing but sitting around and learning how everyone ripped your best friend to shreds for decisions he didn’t even want to do made me realize that fine, you’re right, you didn’t have a choice at the Festival. But it would have been nice if you didn’t repeatedly tell me I couldn’t be upset about one of the closest people in my life dying because it was ‘inevitable’ or whatever other big word that can fit here.”</p><p>Ghostbur popped back in, preventing Techno from getting even a single syllable out, “Hey guys! We figured out a way to- woah, Tommy, do you need some blue again?”</p><p>Tommy grinned and held his hands out to Ghostbur, “Actually, I think I do, Ghost Man.”</p><p>As Techno watched over the two ghosts, literal and metaphorical, his mind was careening right into panic and mild concern territory.</p><p>That… wasn’t normal. In the slightest. He was gearing up to get yelled at by Tommy again, only to be mentally tripped right onto his head when Tommy backed down at the slightest minuscule amount of pushback. That wasn’t Tommy. Tommy screamed louder in return, even when everyone could tell he was wrong, hell, even when <i>he</i> knew he was wrong. As soon as Techno started getting into it with him like he always did, what little spark of Tommy’s fire that was reignited squashed itself into darkness yet again, out of what? Fear? Resignation?</p><p>Whatever the reason, it was not something one Mister TommyInnit experienced a lot, or at least let it show, so what the actual hell?</p><p>Even back when they were a team, when Tommy had his <s>panic attacks</s> freakouts, the kid eventually found a way to argue back, <i>bite</i> back.</p><p>Phil tried to voice what he could see Techno was concerned about, “Tommy, I’ve only gotten snippets from everyone about this infamous ‘Festival’, it would be nice to hear <i>someone’s</i> viewpoint of the entire-”</p><p>A sudden <i>pop</i> sounded out near them. They all swiveled their heads to see a piece of paper on the ground and a feather and ink. Ghostbur’s smile brightened considerably, leaving Tommy with his blue to go float above it, “Here we go! They got it to work!”</p><p>Techno and Phil glanced at one another before the blonde man decided to be the one to bite the bullet. He walked over to the supposed message and kneeled, unfurling the parchment to see what it was. He squinted his eyes as he read, “‘Hello Techno, Phil, and Tommy, let us know what you need by writing on this...’ Who sent this?”</p><p>Ghostbur nodded rapidly, excited to see Phil catching on, “Everyone from L’Manberg! Tubbo, Fundy, Eret, Puffy, Niki, Sapnap, and even Quackity are out there! They’ve been camping out at a temporary camp of sorts while they try and figure out how to get in here!”</p><p>Techno scoffed and crossed his arms, “Right, suspicious how it only came after Tommy got locked in with us.”</p><p>Ghostbur looked genuinely confused by that statement, “But Tommy was with the camp for a day before he came in? He’s one of the only reasons they set up camp under the decision to get you guys out at some point.”</p><p>If the way they swiveled their heads when the paper first came in was fast, then the way they swiveled them to look at Tommy could be considered turbo. Tommy simply blushed and looked away, not prepared to handle whatever semi-incredulous look they were giving him. It was basic fucking decency to not want somebody to suffer under Dream at this point.</p><p>At least it was for him.</p><p>“How did this get in here?” Phil asked, reading the sudden tension in the room and moving on before it blew over again. Questions needed to be answered, but if the way his two kids were reacting, some of them could wait until later.</p><p>Ghostbur made an ‘oh’ shape with his lips, “Oh, my bad! I totally forgot that Ranboo is here as well!”</p><p>Philza stood up rapidly and choked out, “Ranboo?” </p><p>At the same time, Techno uncrossed his arms and looked at Ghostbur in shock, “He’s okay?”</p><p>Now it was Tommy’s turn to blink and look at the others in shock. Phil was still staring at Ghostbur, waiting for the apparition to reply, but Techno noticed Tommy’s beady eyes on him. Wiping the care off of his face, Techno was back to scowling. He placed his hands on his hips and refused to look at the younger blond.</p><p>Tommy could barely hold back the giggle. He wasn’t going to make fun of the piglin when he genuinely showed how he cared. Tommy knew what it was like on the receiving end of it, knew how special it was, so the boy wasn’t going to be more responsible for getting rid of it.</p><p>Ranboo definitely deserved that kind of attention after everything.</p><p>Ghostbur focused on his alive-father, “Mhm! He was a little shaken up and stuff, mainly because he saw you guys get hurt, but thanks to everyone at Camp Investigation he’s been settling in alright!”</p><p>Techno got noticeably confused at the words ‘Camp Investigation’ but Philza was too focused on the state of Ranboo. The older man ran a hand through his hair, “Dammit. I don’t know if I should be relieved he’s safe or concerned he saw our fight. Did it really scare him that badly?”</p><p>Ghostbur placed a finger against his lip in contemplation, “Well, yeah, he seemed pretty spooked about it when we first came to this building. But his panic mainly seemed to be about Dream being involved.”</p><p>Before Philza could say anything, Tommy scoffed, “At least one of you in the Arctic knows what’s what.”</p><p>Techno was about to indignantly ask what <i>that</i> meant, but Ghostbur harmlessly prodded the plot along before the piglin could, “Anyways! Come on, Philza, tell them what you need! Write, write, write!”</p><p>Philza knelt again, nodding his head, “Okay, okay, I’m on it. Do you guys want anything specific?”</p><p>Phil turned around to look at Techno and Tommy. Techno was first, “Weapons. Armor.”</p><p>Tommy was immediately after, “Food, probably. Or at least a drink. I’ll take an Awkward Potion at this point.”</p><p>Philza chuckled before going back to writing, “I think they can get us normal water, but potions are still a good idea. Thank you, Tommy.”</p><p>Techno didn’t want to think too deeply into how Tommy took Phil’s bare minimum praise like it was meat to a starving polar bear (and also how he tried and failed to hide his blush pretty spectacularly), so Techno didn’t. He simply focused on his mentor writing the list of items they wanted and rolling the paper back up and using one hand to whack the cylinder against his other open palm like a fidget of sorts.</p><p>Phil looked at Ghostbur as he did so, “So what now?”</p><p>Ghostbur pointed to the floor, “Just leave it in the spot you found it at!”</p><p>Bending over to set the list down just as described, Phil looked back up at the ghost to see him looking excitedly at them all. Before anyone could ask what was up, Ghostbur zoomed out of the walls yet again to leave them by themselves. They all stood there, looking around awkwardly, staring at one another but not at the same time. </p><p>Then next thing they heard was that very familiar popping noise before seeing that the paper was gone. As if it never existed. </p><p>Tommy blinked, “... Okay, sure.”</p><p>And then that was that. They stood around in silence again before Tommy went off to lay down on the ground with his arm over his eyes, trying to will the iron flooring to swallow him whole. Phil looked around, thinking about how well his next idea would potentially work out. He might as well try, “Hey, Tommy? You wanna hear something really cool?”</p><p>Just as expected, Tommy grumbled and turned over, promptly trying to ignore the avian-hybrid, “Quiet old man, I’m trying to get my beauty sleep.”</p><p>Before Techno could get on Tommy for the disrespect, Philza grabbed the piglin’s arm and dragged him around the corner to where they were before Tommy’s scream got their attention, “Shh, Techno, we don’t want him to listen in on us. I want to go back to what we were discussing.”</p><p>Techno snorted before crossing his arms, “Yeah? What good would that do?”</p><p>Philza was getting increasingly frustrated, “Maybe we could figure out a plan to make sure Toms doesn’t throw himself into certain death?! If Dream shows up and catches him by himself there’s no way we can stop him from giving himself up. That’s kind of a problem, is it not?”</p><p>Techno tensed up uncomfortably, “I’m not saying <i>do nothing,</i> I’m saying there’s nothing short of babysitting the kid and making a child leash that will stop him from trying to throw himself off that cliff, Philza. What else are we supposed to discuss? You wanna tie him to my back like he’s in a baby carrier?”</p><p>The blond man started biting one of his fingernails, and Techno wanted nothing more than to ease his fears, but what can you do when those fears are very legitimate on top of not being able to fix them in the slightest? As long as they were in here with Dream, Tommy was essentially a flight risk, so the only way they could fix it was by leaving this place, but there was a good chance they either couldn’t or would be slaughtered trying.</p><p>“Hey, guys just so you- oh.” Ghostbur yelled while popping back in. Phil immediately leaned around the corner to shush the exuberant ghost before motioning him to come to where they were. The apparition did just that, even keeping his voice low when he spoke again, “It’s going to take a second for them to get everything to you. They need to gather the stuff and Ranboo isn’t sure how much charge he’ll need to send bigger and heavier items. Oh! By the way and before you ask, he doesn’t trust himself to teleport live things other than himself. That’ll take even longer to master, so we should probably avoid taking that route in trying to get you guys out.”</p><p>Techno raised an eyebrow, “Then why make him teleport a list and waste energy? You can communicate just fine, right?”</p><p>Ghostbur shrugged, “I don’t trust myself to remember anything anymore. It would be a waste of time for me to have to come back and forth for the same thing over and over again. It also helps them make sure they don’t forget to grab something before leaving a storage area, you know?”</p><p>Phil felt a jolt of pain run through him, “Ghostbur, you’re not-”</p><p>“Welp, I’m going to go help them with your stuff!” Ghostbur waved his dad off, something unreadable in his smile. “I’ll check-up every now and then so I can also let them know you’re not in trouble and such. Bye-bye!”</p><p>Before anything else could be said, Ghostbur was floating back outside and leaving the rest of their rag-tag, dysfunctional family in the now painful silence, which was worse than before. Techno would have preferred awkward, and he <i>hated</i> awkward.</p><p>Phil sighed, now electing to run <i>both</i> hands through his blond locks in a desperate attempt to relieve stress, “Ender, this is so fucked.”</p><p>Techno couldn’t say anything else to that, so he simply didn’t.</p><p>The older men went back around the corner to prop themselves against the walls, Techno leaning against a spot near where Ghostbur came and went while Philza kept his distance from Tommy where he sat on the ground. He unconsciously found himself extending his non-damaged wing over the kid when the younger blond started to shiver. He could remove it fast enough before Tommy fully woke up, right?</p><p>Phil wasn’t exactly sure where to start with, well, anything, but he was damn willing to try <i>something.</i></p><p>They had much time to spend here with just themselves, it seemed.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>eeehhh kind of decent chapter perhaps? the nightmare was fun to write but the rest of it feels meh to me so you know<br/>*aggressively fishes for clout and validation like the sad sob i am* please let me know how you felt about it in the comments! :D<br/>also, character tags are changed because i feel bad for false advertisement and now its getting longer between updates so yeah, but fear not! those fellows will eventually show up~</p><p>no beta- just wanted to get this out before my energy seeps away like i feel its doing :(<br/>If you wish to scream at me here's my <a href="https://halorocks1214.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. i am the one thing in life i can control</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Generosity is such a fickle action. It's almost always a good thing, but it tends to only really work if the one receiving it actually <i>chooses</i> to receive it in the end</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>nothing really cw-y for this chapter. a fight breaks out at the end, and mental health is the topic of one discussion if you squint</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Purpled rhythmically tapped his heels against the box he was sitting on, a small dagger-like sword resting in his lap with one of his hands over it, making sure it didn’t slip off anytime soon.</p>
<p>He watched as Eret flickered around the kitchen, who was in the process of grabbing the right amounts of certain types of food. Eret noticed he didn’t have as much meat on him like he thought he did, so that left things like vegetables, fruit, bread, and a few gapples here and there. He wasn’t sure what the state Tommy and his family were going to be in when they all got back, so if he wanted to throw in a little extra help, then sue him.</p>
<p>When Ranboo teleported the list back out to them and Ghostbur confirmed that the hostages were okay for <i>now,</i> Eret and Puffy quickly got into serious mode and divided teams up. Ghostbur stayed at the camp with the children to watch and see if anything serious changed, while everyone else went back to Eret’s Castle to grab everything that was requested. He, Purpled, and Ponk were on food duty- well, it was less ‘food duty’ for Ponk and Purpled and more ‘Ponk went to Eret’s treasury to get the gold he promised them for continuing to help out at Purpled’s insistence’- while everyone else was off getting the more fight-based items on the list.</p>
<p>Eret just hoped they weren’t panicking as much as he was.</p>
<p>Purpled was now onto twirling his weapon out of boredom, “So, why keep the crown?”</p>
<p>Eret was halfway through shoving the 56th loaf of bread into the satchel he picked out when Purpled asked him that question. He couldn’t help but freeze, “Um, can I ask what you mean by that?”</p>
<p>Purpled maneuvered himself to be sitting on the very edge of the crate with his hands now gripping it by his hips, leaving the small sword to loosely lay in his lap, “I mean, it just seems to cause trouble for you, doesn’t it? First, you almost lose your friends over it, then you just straight up <i>lose the crown</i> and barely get it back, and now you’re kinda stuck here in limbo with another <i>much</i> more powerful dude hanging over your shoulders who, from what it sounds like, will do a whole lot more than just chase you out of your castle to get rid of it.”</p>
<p>Eret couldn’t help but stare at the young merc with utter shock. How did he know this? Shaking his head, Eret decided to gloss over that fact. So much history has already been destroyed, someone knowing it through whatever means wouldn’t hurt. Besides, he’s seen what ‘not talking about your feelings’ has repeatedly done to his friends, so he should probably get it out at some point anyway. What better soundboard than an impartial third party only in it for the money? “You know L’Manberg’s history, right? A group of people just wanting to escape those more powerful than them, the hurt and trauma the oppression these oppressors can cause.”</p>
<p>Purpled blinked but nodded anyway. He was the one who asked this question, and he was genuinely interested. Why would Eret put himself in this needless danger? It made no sense.</p>
<p>Eret took that nod as a sign to go over to one of his counters and place his satchel down on it. Turning around and leaning against the same counter, the lowly King took off his sunglasses before running a hand through his hair, “I’m tired of watching those people continually ruin my friends’ lives. Schlatt, Dream, hell, maybe even Technoblade to an extent- maybe he was right that the government needed a kick in the ass, but to needlessly ruin everything, even the good things, it’s just... I’m tired of it. Ranboo wasn’t wrong when he said cycles needed to be ended. Power doesn’t just need to mean ‘endless violence’ or ‘awful tyrants’, but it’ll stay that way until <i>someone</i> tries to change it.”</p>
<p>Standing up straight and sliding his glasses back on with ease, Eret looked Purpled dead in the eye with the most determination he could muster, “Maybe this Kingship started that way, maybe I have no leg to stand on, but dammit, I don’t need to be blown to smithereens to learn I was wrong! I <i>know</i> I was! And I understand that forgiveness isn’t a goal, it’s a bonus if anything, but I’m still going to <i>try.</i> Try to break this cycle of anger and despair and hatred by being the best goddamn king this server has seen.”</p>
<p>Eret proceeded to throw the food-filled satchel back over his shoulder before taking a deep breath and starting to walk out of the kitchen, “Even if someone like Dream or Techno or some other fuckwad wants to take it away from me, then let it be known that I’m not fully against using violence to prove a point.”</p>
<p>Purpled’s eyes were wide, and he almost reached a hand out when Eret got to the doorway but was interrupted by the monarch before he could.</p>
<p>“Do keep watching over my castle, please,” Eret looked back at the kid with a gentle smile, trustful even. “You and Ponk have been doing a wonderful job, and before you accuse me of being too trusting of your guys’ motives or whatever it is I see on the tip of your tongue, you too, don’t want to be needlessly cruel. You want money, but no more than you think you deserve to take, so don’t even threaten to take more than we agreed on, I know you won’t. Anyway, toodles!”</p>
<p>With that, the King was out of the room, leaving Purpled to ponder on those words.</p>
<p>The teen wasn’t sure where to start, only because his brain flashed back to a seemingly innocuous conversation that happened so long ago when Eret spoke <i>don’t want to be needlessly cruel</i> (damn him and his ability to see through tough exteriors, daaaaamn him). At the time, Purpled didn’t clock it as important. All that happened was that Sam had come to see the merc, asking about a potential job opportunity Purpled turned down because, well, he and Ponk wanted to go off and do their own thing (and because Purpled was perfectly capable of getting paid on his own, he didn’t need an employer unlike someone <i>else</i>).</p>
<p>
  <i>“I’m looking for potential guards for the prison I’m building,” the creeper hybrid stated matter-of-factly. “You seemed like a good fit.”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>All Purpled could do was blink, “Really? You’re just going to admit something like that to a teenager?”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Sam rolled his eyes, “Please, you specifically picked a job that possibly involved killing people. Knowing you understand that people get locked away for doing bad things is the least of my concern.”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Purpled conceded, “Touche.”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>The older man nodded in response, “So, what do you say? The pay is fairly decent, but I’m also willing to negotiate if you want more.”</i>
</p>
<p><i>Purpled thought for a second. The merc job hadn’t been bringing in a whole lot lately, and even the teen had to admit he was curious about why the heck Sam was building a </i>prison<i> of all things, but then the sight of a gleeful Ponk waking him up at four in the morning very much knowing he might have been stabbed for it came rushing through Purpled’s mind.</i></p>
<p>
  <i>(“I got a really super awesome idea, dude!” the older man’s grin was visible through the mask he was wearing. Purpled would never say out loud what his soft spots were, but boy did the joy on his friend’s face rank high on that already small list.) </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>The teen eventually shook his head, respectfully declining, “Nah, I don’t need to get by while working as a slave. Thanks for the suggestion, though.”</i>
</p>
<p>Purpled shot off the box he was on to chase after Eret, “Eret! Eret wait! I have some- <i>oof.</i>”</p>
<p>The teenager ran right into the chest of the aforementioned King, who stopped and turned around at the first yell Purpled made, “Woah, Purpled, what’s wrong?” </p>
<p>Purpled jumped back, his eyes wide in realization, “Didn’t you mention that Techno and Philza and Tommy were <i>locked inside</i> that weird building?”</p>
<p>Eret blinked, nervous about where this was going, “Yes?”</p>
<p>Purpled was surprised to find himself grinning, “Then I think I know where it came from.”</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>“Boys! Don’t play with those!” Puffy yelled. It was fruitless, seeing as Sapnap and Quackity continued whacking each other with sticks like children do when they roleplay being valiant knights. She couldn’t help but form a small smile even if they were goofing off. It was nice to see they still found ways to have fun despite it all.</p>
<p>It reminded her of another, much younger troublemaker in need of assistance, as well as the fact that not everyone was on board to give that assistance for the same reasons. </p>
<p>
  <i>“Uughh I knew that brat would do something idiotic.”</i>
</p>
<p>She grimaced at the memory. Part of the reason she didn’t respond right then and there (outside of worrying about Tubbo, of course) was because she desperately hoped her brain was playing tricks on her. Alas, before Tubbo’s panic attack, she watched as Niki practically doubled down when Eret called her out, and that's when Puffy quickly realized something was deeply, deeply wrong with her girlfriend.</p>
<p>She turned away from what she was brewing to see Niki and Fundy over at a couple of crafting tables, making armor at various levels of strength. They were doing their jobs, and it was kind of sad that she worried they wouldn’t in the first place. “Niki? Can you grab some nether warts and help me brew some things? I’m having trouble remembering how to make a Strength potion,” she shouted out.</p>
<p>Niki looked up to see Puffy looking in her direction. After a moment of looking around the room, she eventually left Fundy to work on the armor by himself so she could do what Puffy asked of her. The sheep-hybrid went back to making sure the potions didn’t burn while she waited for Niki. Eventually, the pink-haired woman came up beside her with a small pouch of the aforementioned red fungus, “First you make an awkward potion with these, like I think you were going to, and then it takes blaze powder to make it Strength. You can either lengthen its duration with redstone or make it stronger with glowstone, the choice is up to you.”</p>
<p>Puffy looked at Niki with fondness. Once the younger lady placed the pouch down on the table, Puffy leaned over and gave her a quick peck on the cheek, “Thank you so much, honey. I knew I could count on your wonderfully smart brain to help me out.”</p>
<p>Niki blushed but turned away before Puffy could really see it, “Right, of course you would say that now.”</p>
<p>Something spiked through Puffy’s chest at that, but before she could show it, she gently grabbed Niki to turn her around and place both her hooves on her shoulders, “Of course I would say it! You’re the bestest, sweetest gal a humble sheep like me could ask for! Why else would I say it?”</p>
<p>Niki’s lips thinned like she didn’t believe a word Puffy said and brought her arms around herself in a sort-of self hug, “Boy, where could I start.”</p>
<p>Puffy’s heart can’t take anymore shattering, please, “Hey, what’s wrong, huh?” The hybrid brought a hoof to Niki’s chin to make the human look her in the eyes, “You’re saying some things that aren’t very nice, neither to yourself or others, and I know back then you would rather close down our bakery than do something like that.”</p>
<p>Niki suddenly glared, her self hug getting a meaner posture to it, “Yeah, it’s totally not like there’s no bakery anymore anyway.”</p>
<p>Puffy sighed, realizing that whatever Niki was going through would take much more than one simple conversation, “Okay, fair enough. But when you find you’re ready to tell me, I’ll be right here, alright? Even if I’m sleeping, even if I’m on the other side of the world, I’ll be here to listen.”</p>
<p>That broke through to Niki somewhat, seeing as she froze for a brief second before sagging her shoulders, “... Sure, I can take it into consideration.”</p>
<p>Puffy leaned forward and nuzzled Niki’s nose with her own, praying to whatever deity that was out there it would be enough to at least get the younger woman to think about it, “It’s all I ask of you, Pumpkin Pie.”</p>
<p>After that, Niki went back to the crafting tables where the armor preparation was to continue helping Fundy. However, the fox wasn’t there at the moment. Looking around, Puffy found that he went off to grab some more iron. Then she heard a small crash come from where Sapnap and Quackity were tussling, and when she turned to look at them she groaned. They didn’t break anything (yet), but Sapnap was oddly close to chucking the box of axes and swords at his fiance. Puffy felt the oncoming feeling of a migraine, “Guys, it was fine at first but this is getting rid-”</p>
<p>A very sudden and sharp <i>shing</i> sounded out in the air, mainly coming from outside. The storage room they were in had a direct gate into the forest the castle was near, so if something wanted to come in and hurt them it wouldn’t have been too much of a challenge. Sapnap pointed that out, but people only really took it in minor contemplation.</p>
<p>Puffy could smack herself for the repeated mistakes she had been making.</p>
<p>Before she could look over at the gate, she quickly turned her head to stare at Quackity, who screeched for no apparent reason and ducked to the side. The ‘no apparent reason’ would be rectified swiftly, seeing as a trident came tearing through the air in an attempt to wound him, no doubt about that. Quackity stared up at the weapon with labored breathing, Sapanp quickly setting his box on the ground to glare at the assailant.</p>
<p>“CAN PEOPLE STOP GOING FOR MY EYE?! IT’S ALREADY BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH!” Quackity screamed, still staring at the trident firmly embedded in the wall that was originally behind his head before he dodge rolled.</p>
<p>Puffy was staring at it too, but she soon looked away to stare at the one who threw it just like Sapnap. She was, unfortunately, unable to stop the gasp that came from her lips and brought one of her hooves up to hold slightly in front of her mouth, shocked beyond anything describable. Her words were barely a whisper, “Bad?”</p>
<p>Everyone else was left to become just as shocked as she was. There he was, BadBoyHalo in all of his demonic-glory, yet that same glory was different. The red highlights of his clothes were somehow even redder, and veiny streaks ran up his arms and down his legs and wrapped around his neck and- it looked like a weird poison was everywhere in his body, to say the least.</p>
<p>This was even more prevalent around his eyes. The orbs were a seething vibrant red, with the outer tear ducts having similar veins running out of them to hide in his hood. His fangs were bared, and nothing short of <i>hot, burning rage</i> could describe the emotion on his face, “First you can’t even be half-assed to come help us when it was wanted, and now you still can’t even listen to us when we want you to stay out!”</p>
<p>It was Quackity’s turn to gasp, this time with something between horror and amusement, “Bad, holy shit, you swore!”</p>
<p>Sapnap was more on the ‘horrified’ side of things, “What- Bad, what do you mean ‘stay out’? None of us have been able to visit for <i>weeks.</i>”</p>
<p>The demon let out a dark laugh, “Right, because the 3D-glasses-wearing brunette that decided to plop himself down with us randomly <i>surely</i> has nothing to do with <i>you.</i>”</p>
<p>Everyone jumped. Niki’s words were almost too quiet to be discerned, “Wait, does that mean… Jack?”</p>
<p>Fundy’s jaw might have well have been on the floor, “Jack is dead! He-”</p>
<p>Bad’s laughter got more deranged, “Maybe he was! All we know is he popped out of our Savior and didn’t leave. That kind of stubbornness only comes from <i>you people.</i>”</p>
<p>Quackity was immediately taken back by the word <i>savior.</i> He wasn’t sure what that possibly could have meant, but he only jumped back up to stand when Bad called his trident back. The demon gripped its shaft tightly, almost making it so you could see his knuckles turn white in the sea of red that was his fingers.</p>
<p>“We’re tired of not being listened to for the basic respect we want,” Bad growled out. “You dumping your friend and his problems on us was the last straw, and we all finally decided to send a <i>message-</i>”</p>
<p>Quackity started screaming, even fell back onto his ass once more, at the same time Niki let out a fearful yell. Bad had lept into the air, totally ready to spear his once-friend like a shishkabob with no remorse, before Sapnap reached into the box of weapons he was in charge of carrying and grabbed a sword. He barely managed to jump in between his warring family to block Bad’s attempt at attacking Quackity.</p>
<p>He almost fell over from the force that hit him. He let out a grunt before looking up into the rage-filled eyes of his father, “Bad! I’m not sure what is wrong, but-” His words cut off briefly when Bad tried shoving him again, “But I don’t think this is any way to solve it!”</p>
<p>Bad’s lips form a sly grin, and right as Quackity stood back up to try and get out of the fight, the demon flung Sapnap at a fleeing Quackity to bowl the beanie-wearing man right into the ground. The two of them shouted at the abrupt contact, tripping and falling over one another as they tumbled down. Bad grinned at them satisfactorily before turning to look at a peculiar fox.</p>
<p>Fundy was looking on at the scene in pure terror, his fluffed tail only getting more fluffed when he noticed Bad’s attention on him. He couldn’t even flinch when the demon took a step toward to probably try and do something similar like he wanted to do to Quackity. He didn’t get as far as last time though, as a sudden arrow flew through the air in front of his face.</p>
<p>He turned to see that Niki had gotten to a bow at some point. Another arrow was loaded, and he couldn’t tell if her shaking was from some kind of fear or from how hard she was pulling the string. The demon only lifted his trident in response, figuring out the best possible angle to send the biggest message. If that angle caused the most damage as well, then he uncharacteristically didn’t care about it.</p>
<p>Surprisingly, Niki didn’t flinch. She only continued to glare in a way that spoke she wouldn’t care if she died. Bad almost shrugged before realizing that would throw his aim off, so instead, he pulled the trident back ever so slightly in preparation to throw, then-</p>
<p>“Bad, please <i>stop!</i>” a female voice cried out. It couldn’t have been Niki. He was looking at her and her lips didn’t move when the words were said.</p>
<p>And it worked. Bad froze for a sec to turn around to look at none other than Captain Puffy. She had small tear tracks trailing down her eyes, and tiny tremors ran through her shoulders, but she hid it well, “Bad, I’m <i>sorry.</i>”</p>
<p>The demon flinched, not really prepared to handle this reaction.</p>
<p>Puffy continued forward regardless, using one of her arms to wipe the tears off her face, “Bad, I <i>know</i> I didn’t help as much with the Skeppy situation as I should have, I know we <i>all</i> didn’t, and maybe we were busy with our own issues, but that doesn’t fully excuse the pure radio silence we gave you. And- and now you’re stuck in the same boat as him and I’m <i>so sorry.</i>”</p>
<p>A sliver of guilt appeared on Bad’s face, but what really was the kicker was the quiet voice that came from the ground, almost like a groan, “Dad… what <i>happened?</i>”</p>
<p>Bad looked over to see Sapnap and Quackity still in some kind of odd pretzel, unsure of how to untangle themselves, but that didn’t stop Sap from giving the most heartfelt, beady-eyes to Bad that he could. Before the demon could say anything, a throbbing pain pounded through his brain, making him choke out a weird noise before clutching his head and bending over.</p>
<p>Niki was the only one able to find her words. She brought the bow she was holding down immediately, “Bad, are you-”</p>
<p>“Forget it,” Bad snapped. “Just… just leave us alone. It’s the least you could do.”</p>
<p>Before anyone could stop him, Bad ran out to the moat surrounding Eret’s castle to get a head start by trident-ing away. Everyone else was left in pure silence, in pure horror, as to what all that was and what it meant.</p>
<p>“Alright, it seems that I’ve finally got Purpled and Ponk on board to stay put. I’m gonna miss my gold hoard, but there are more important matters, like-” Eret was nonchalantly talking as he walked back out to the group, a bag of miscellaneous food items slung over his shoulders. He stopped immediately once he took in the scene of his disheveled friends before him.</p>
<p>It was quite the sight if he were to be honest: Puffy distressed, Fundy and Niki confused out of their minds, and Sapnap and Quackity trying and failing to do some weird tango on the ground. The King couldn’t help but blink only once, “Um… did I miss something?”</p>
<p>The group of friends all glanced at each other.</p>
<p>‘Miss something’ was one way to certainly put it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>- whats this? actual plot progression in my canon divergent au? couldn't be me lmao<br/>- watch me start to speedrun these chapters like dream again 😎 /hj<br/>- looking back on it, aggressively insisting that my fic wont be canon-compliant in the slightest aged liked fine wine skskdnsdf<br/>- also, ERET STANS MY BELOVED. i am right alongside you, believing wholeheartedly in eret supremacy, long live our wonderful monarch<br/>- last bit of purpled and ponk in my fic for a hot min, sorry :[ enjoy these crumbs tho because they were a whole heckin lot of fun to write</p>
<p>no beta because HELLO VALIDATION, im starving &lt;3 /lh<br/>If you wish to scream at me here's my <a href="https://halorocks1214.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. red, blue, yellow, orange; its almost a rainbow, just without the happiness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Which is more painful: the person whom you trust, hurts you? Or the person whom you hurt, still trusts you?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>only cws this time is that two fights break out and one character makes fun of another for their somewhat neglectful dad (theyre possessed, they dont /really/ mean it but it happens)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Fundy asked bluntly.</p><p>Eret simply nodded and chopped another branch out of the way, “Even if Sam ends up not being behind the building, it’s a better lead than anything else we have gotten so far. Sam will either be the one to let them out, or they will simply have to fight with the weapons we handed off to Ranboo and the others, seeing as we can’t find a way to open it anyway.”</p><p>Puffy was next to her, the sheep hybrid slightly hugging herself due to both the chill and guilt, “Besides, to piggyback off that whole ‘they’ll have to fight their way out’ idea, there’s not a lot more we can do outside of this. We’re doing all we can for Tommy and the others, now we should take the free time we have to help our other friends, who have been waiting for it for far too long.”</p><p>Fundy huffed a small amount of air out his nose, “And you’re positive Sam is out here?”</p><p>Eret nodded, “Yep, I visited him when I needed some gunpowder, so Puffy, do please lessen the blame on your shoulders a little bit. I knew about their situation beforehand as well and never stepped up to help them, if you’re at fault I’m just as much too.”</p><p>Puffy thinned her lips but ultimately didn’t argue. She simply hugged herself tighter, “Sure.”</p><p>Niki remained relatively quiet, electing to hold the same pose her girlfriend had.</p><p>Eret and Puffy were slightly ahead, leaving Niki and Fundy to travel next to each other.</p><p>Niki looked over at the fox out of curiosity. The expression he was wearing wasn’t really a glare, but it certainly wasn’t happy. His paws were in his pants pockets despite him wearing, well, “Hey, Fundy? How did you get Wilbur’s trench coat back?”</p><p>Fundy blinked out of his thoughts at that, whispering back at her since she whispered first. He didn’t want the two ahead of them to hear their conversation and chew him out again <s>at least, not right now</s>, “It was left at Eret’s Castle. Seeing as Tommy probably won’t be needing it again, I figured I could put it to good use. I grabbed it from his stuff before we left the castle, and then only put it on once we were far enough away from camp so nobody noticed it.”</p><p>Niki barely stopped her flinch. She instead ended up nodding and looked briefly away to make sure she was still walking in the right direction.</p><p>
  <i>Good, the little snot doesn’t deserve Wilbur’s things.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>He was just as much as a brother to him as he was to you! Stop it before-</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Be quiet, you dumb brain. You know why we’re not stopping just yet.</i>
</p><p>Shaking her head, she looked back at Fundy for a distraction, “Sounds about right. But why aren’t you using the pockets in the coat? It seems uncomfortable on your wrists to have to push it back to use your pants pockets.”</p><p>Well if Fundy’s face wasn’t a glare before, it sure is now, “No reason you need to know.”</p><p>Despite her recent actions saying otherwise, Niki knew when to back off.</p><p>She couldn’t say anything to that even if she wanted to anyway, because the next thing she knew, Eret and Puffy were through some bushes and gasping at what they were seeing. Fundy and Niki glanced at each other before reluctantly walking up next to the older adults. They didn’t gasp like them, but their eyes surely widened.</p><p>The open space they came upon was littered with red vines sprawled about everywhere. Some wrapped around trees, some burrowed into the ground, and others were just laying there like sleeping snakes, some even with demented-looking flowers sprouting out of them.</p><p>Eret sharply inhaled. She briefly sheathed her sword, “Ender, we’re not even to the main part of this territory. If it’s this bad out here, then-”</p><p>“What’s it like near the actual Egg?” Puffy finished for the King.</p><p>Niki and Fundy could only stare on in horror. They might be acting out and causing some mayhem on purpose, but… this is something truly terrifying. What <i>was</i> this? And why did Puffy call it an <i>egg</i> of all things?</p><p>Before Niki could panic for any longer, she watched as Puffy started to sway slightly, “Sweetheart, are you-”</p><p>Then she shrieked. Before Eret and Fundy could properly ask what was wrong, a red vine suddenly sprouted up and wrapped around Puffy’s wrist. It moved her hand rapidly, animalistically almost, and before anyone could blink, the sword sheathed at Puffy’s hip was being pulled out and held firmly in her grasp. She turned around so everyone else could see her suddenly red-tinted eyes.</p><p>Fundy gulped, “Puffy…?”</p><p>She looked over at him and glanced down to… his hips, for some reason? Whatever it sensed was down there, it didn’t like it, and Eret could barely react in time to pull her own sword back out and block Puffy’s attack at the fox.</p><p>Eret grunted, looking over her shoulder at Fundy and Niki, “Er, you two, get a good distance away! I don’t know what’s happening-”</p><p>The vine puppeteered Puffy to slash at Eret, to which the King blocked just barely. Fundy didn’t hesitate to grab Niki’s wrist to try and get the younger lady out of there, but he took all of maybe three gallops away before his friend’s arm slipped out of his paw, “Wha- Niki, what are you-”</p><p>Niki rushed forward in between her warring friends. While Fundy was grabbing Niki’s wrist to try and run, the red vines managed to trip Eret into falling over and dropping her sword, leaving her completely defenseless to Puffy’s next attack. Before the sheep hybrid could land a hit on the King, Niki was between the two of them and halted Puffy’s rampage.</p><p>Niki had her arms out in a T-like shape with her palms outward and her head turned to the side, her eyes closed in anticipation. She was fully expecting to be hit, so when she didn’t feel any pain, she cracked them just a smidge in hesitation before blowing them wide open in shock. Puffy was clearly trying to fight whatever sudden influence this thing had over her and was stuck somewhere between failing and not failing.</p><p>“Shut up…” she whispered out, seemingly to herself. “I’m not the one in need of helping.”</p><p>Niki could only look at her girlfriend in sadness while Eret snuck around them with her sword, and before anyone knew it, the King eventually got close enough to the vine to slash it and the connection it had on Puffy. The sheep hybrid’s eyes fell shut while she fell forward, leaving Niki to be the one to catch her before she faceplanted on the ground.</p><p>“OH MY GOD PUFFY ARE YOU OKAY?” Fundy screamed out, showing the most concern and care he had in the past few weeks. Eret sheathed her sword again as she watched the three of her friends ask and answer questions. Clearly, this had shaken up Niki and Fundy to the point they felt the need to drop their cold pretenses, and Void forbid whatever Puffy was probably thinking.</p><p>Eret swallowed the spit that formed in her mouth like it was a giant rock before walking over to her grouped-up friends to hear what they were saying.</p><p>Puffy’s words were more of a mutter, but Eret could still understand them, “No, no, I don’t know, I’m fine, I’m not hurt, I just stepped into the boundary and- and a voice started speaking in my head, telling me things I didn’t need or want even though it insisted-”</p><p>Fundy yelped before jumping away from Puffy. Eret was getting tired of the yelling with no context, but when she saw Fundy stomp on another vine trying to make its way toward Puffy, she realized her personal pet peeves would need to wait, “Puffy, the Egg seems really invested in possessing you. I hate to suggest this, but I think you should hang back away from the Badlands until the foreign entity is gone.”</p><p>Puffy’s hair fluffed up a little bit, making it look like a disgruntled sheep’s wool, “What about you three then? What makes you safer?”</p><p>Fundy twiddled his fingers together nervously, “Well, wouldn’t it have gone for one of us by now if it wanted us controlled or whatever like you and Bad?”</p><p>Puffy could see that logic, but she still wanted to object, “I-”</p><p>“Please, Apple Pie,” Niki almost breathed out. “I don’t want you hurt.”</p><p>Puffy glanced over at Niki in surprise, and the younger woman was starting to maybe realize her facade was doing more damage than she originally thought it would, but then Puffy slumped, relented to the fact that she probably <i>should</i> get away.</p><p>Eret nodded while making her way over to the women, “Alright, hand her over to me, Niki.”</p><p>Niki didn’t even hesitate to pass her girlfriend over to Eret so she could get to safety. Eret brought one of the hybrid’s arms around her shoulders before situating the two of them to be as comfortable as possible. Niki and Fundy were left to watch in concern as the King ushered Puffy away from the area. They were so lost in their worry and fear that they didn’t hear the crunching grass behind them or the way it stopped as if a person was walking on it. They only realized there <i>was</i> a newcomer when his perky voice called out.</p><p>“Well well well, the cat’s out of the bag… or the dog is, you foxes are more related to dogs, right?”</p><p>Fundy and Niki spun their heads around to look at the voice to find it belonged to none other than Skeppy. They knew what they were getting into, but the fact that he didn’t look much better than Halo still surprised them somewhat.</p><p>His once baby-blue hoodie was an angry red. His sleeves were pulled up to above his elbows, but all that it achieved was showing how his hands and wrists essentially looked like he dipped them in red paint. The only reason they knew he didn’t was that the same veiny lines that were on BadBoyHalo were also on Skeppy, running up from his wrists into the bunched-up sleeves like Christmas lights. Skeppy’s neck was in a similar predicament, and those veins even went all the way up to his eyes which were glowing red as well. If Halo wasn’t wearing his hoodie, would they have seen the veins on his neck connect to his eyes as well?</p><p>“Skeppy, oh my god,” Fundy spoke, practically whispered. Bad at least had the benefit of some of his clothing having red, softening the blow. Skeppy… very much did not, “Holy shit, what is with everyone being <i>possessed</i> by this- this <i>egg</i> of all fucking things?!”</p><p>Skeppy shrugged his shoulders, shoving his hands further into his hoodie pocket, “Eh, it was pretty funny. I wasn’t all for it at the start, but when our Savior started offering some pretty cool shit we all thought that maybe it wouldn’t suck as much as our original impressions implied it would, and look at where we are now!”</p><p>Fundy only got more horrified, “So you let yourself get taken over for, what, validation? Peace of mind? Or Ender forbid <i>joy?</i> It’s <i>poisoning</i> you, you and <i>all</i> your friends! Doesn’t that feel empty or something?”</p><p>Skeppy scoffed, “Right, right, <i>fake happiness</i> or whatever. At least we’re getting <i>something</i> out here. We’ve been doing a better job achieving our goals than you, Mr. ‘My Dad Said He Hated Me To My Face Yet I Still Chase After Him With My Tail Between My Legs’.”</p><p>Niki brought her hand up to her mouth in shock, her eyes glancing over to Fundy and expectedly feeling her stomach drop at the pure malice on her fox friend’s face.</p><p>Fundy could feel his fingers twitch, his claws wanting to make something bleed, “Excuse me?”</p><p>Skeppy started to walk away as if Fundy wasn’t two seconds from ripping his head off, “Yeah yeah yeah, I’m sure eeeeeveryone has heard it by now. This whole <i>Fox and the Hound</i> thing you got going on with your daddy, only this time the fox seems to be the one who’s chasing the hound nonstop with no particular goal in mind. Just running and running and running until that little dog drops dead with the fox just right behind him. Forever chasing after love he’ll never achieve. At least in the story, the hound gave up once the fox was <i>dead-</i>”</p><p>“Fundy <i>no!</i>” Niki screeched, but she was too late. By the time she was saying her friend’s name, the fox was already on top of Skeppy and tackling him to the ground. The two rolled for a bit before they came to a stop with snarling Fundy kneeling on a semi-annoyed Skeppy’s chest, his claws digging into the front of the human’s hoodie and pulling his upper body up by it.</p><p>“You don’t know the <i>first fucking thing</i> about me and my father, you rancid sack of garbage,” Fundy growled out. Skeppy seemed to get more displeased at that and started struggling to get out of the fox’s grip. The two men went at it for a little bit, Skeppy even managing to land a punch on Fundy’s face, to which the fox returned the action wholeheartedly.</p><p>Niki leapt forward, grabbing one of Fundy’s arms after it started literally <i>scratching</i> at Skeppy, “Fundy <i>stop,</i> he’s being a jackass but it’s not worth <i>this-</i>”</p><p>Fundy jutted his arm out of her grasp with so much force he fell over to lay flat on top of Skeppy. This allowed for whatever was in his pockets to fall out, and Niki almost gasped at the sight. </p><p>Around a quarter of a pound of Ghostbur’s blue fell from Fundy’s jacket to land on Skeppy’s hoodie. The Badlands member quickly sat up and away from the fox to aggressively try and wipe it off, but as soon as it touched his skin, he hissed and whimpered in pain. Niki and Fundy were kneeling next to each other, ready to ask what’s wrong with the blue to make him hurt, but as they watched Skeppy bring his hands up to his head in pain and then watched him bring them immediately down, they realized something kind of important.</p><p>Blue was leftover around his eyes, and it might have been hard to see, but even they noticed how the red veins protruding from the man’s eyes got ever so slightly smaller and started receding away from the powdery substance.</p><p>Niki glanced at Fundy, “Do you have any more?”</p><p>Fundy glanced at Niki, “Yeah, not a lot, but enough.”</p><p>The friends nodded only once at each other before looking back at their possessed acquaintance and pounced.</p><p>Fundy grabbed the rest of the blue from one pocket while Niki grabbed the rest from the other. They used their hand that was not holding any powder to grab one of Skeppy’s arms to hold him still. It hurt them to hear Skeppy beg, his <i>“Wait, what are you doing, stop-”</i> pleads, but whatever this red stuff that was infecting him was clearly worse. The Skeppy they knew would jest with them, sure, but not make fun of a guy for his father’s neglect.</p><p>First, they rubbed the remaining blue against his wrists and hands, and once a substantial amount was covering that, they moved to his face. They were as careful as possible to gently press their hands against his eyes, avoiding getting it in them as much as they could, but they wouldn’t really know how good of a job they did, considering Skeppy started screaming when they barely put some on his hands to start with.</p><p>Once they ran out, they jumped back a little bit to let their possessed friend sit up and scoot away, gasping in some kind of rushed emotion. Their hands were somewhat covered in blue still, but Skeppy practically looked like he shoved his hands in buckets full of it. He attempted to wipe his face, but all that did was spread the stuff even more.</p><p>Eventually, he made one last major gasp, to which Fundy and Niki almost made their own in response to, because his eyes were a very clear <i>blue</i> again, “Wha- oh my god, Niki? Fundy?”</p><p>Niki nodded, scooting forward to be right next to the terrified man, “Yeah, Skeppy, it’s us.”</p><p>Fundy repeated her actions, “Dude, are you okay? What happened?”</p><p>Skeppy’s breathing was laboured, and his eyes flicked around wildly, “This- this <i>thing,</i> this giant red <i>mass</i> started growing and growing and- and <i>growing</i> and none of us could get rid of it, in fact, they even started <i>protecting</i> it. I tried, oh how I tried to save them by locking myself away with it, but when they were free they broke me out of my obsidian box, and since then I’ve just been like this! For a while, Bad tried saving me, but not even Prime Church’s water did anything, so I guess attempt after attempt after attempt after attempt they just went back to protecting it, seeing it as a losing battle. It probably didn’t help that the Egg promised some really nice things in the long wrong, holy shit…”</p><p>Niki and Fundy tensed at that, at the idea of them struggling out here, all alone with no help regarding this super scary entity.</p><p>Skeppy didn’t seem to notice, and even started speaking again before they could ask questions while running a hand through his hair, “How did you break me out of it?”</p><p>Fundy held out his paws to show Skeppy the substance, “We, um, have this stuff called ‘blue’ that we get sometimes. There was some in my pockets, and it fell on you, and whatever is controlling you didn’t like it, so we used the rest of it up to get you free.”</p><p>Niki opened her mouth in an ‘oh’ shape, as if she realized something, “Hey, didn’t Puffy look down at your waist when she was possessed as well? I think it maybe sensed the blue! So not only does it not like it, it can-”</p><p>“Feel when some is nearby, apparently,” Skeppy finished for her. “Holy fuck, here I was starting to think there was no solution, that we would be stuck forever, but-”</p><p>Skeppy was cut off by himself making a pain-filled groan and clutching his head, much like BadBoyHalo had done when he was expressing remorse for his possessed actions. Before they could ask what was wrong or restrain him, he leaped forward, knocking them both down. They laid next to each other while Skeppy pinned them, his red eyes back in full force, but just a little less vibrant than before. </p><p>His face looked like it was in a snarl, “If you know what’s good you’ll leave now and never come back.” Niki and Fundy only blinked at that before Skeppy was off of them, allowing them to sit up and watch as he made his grand breakaway.</p><p>Skeppy ran off into the more heavily red vine-infested part of the forest, never turning around once. The two friends were simply left to sit in silence, and that silence left Niki to ponder on what just happened, “Fundy… didn’t Tommy wash that jacket at some point? Why was there blue in its pockets if… he never talked to Wilbur with it on…”</p><p>Fundy’s expression hardened, but not in anger, more in a desperate attempt to ward Niki off from figuring out that she was getting close to the truth.</p><p>Niki stared at Fundy with the most heartfelt expression she could muster, “Is… is that why you insisted we go back to camp? To see… see him?”</p><p>Eret had originally suggested that they let Sapnap and Quackity carry back all the stuff themselves and let the squad that planned to go to the Badlands- Eret and Puffy alongside Niki and Fundy, who the former two probably just wanted to give the latter two something to do away from, well, everything- get a head start. The first and loudest to object to the idea was none other than <i>Fundy</i> of all people, insisting that everyone needed to help carry the stuff back and that everyone needed to explain what happened.</p><p>Even Puffy seemed confused by the fox’s actions, but Fundy wanted to do something productive for once, so she didn’t mind the extra walking and ender pearling that would come of it. After they dropped everything off, Eret and Puffy had a few personal conversations with the kids to check in, Puffy even trying to ask Niki one more time if she was okay.</p><p>Niki didn’t answer her at the time, but not because of deflection or her typical excuses, but because Fundy had told her he would get a headstart and meet them a little ways away from camp. Now that she thinks about it, she remembered not seeing Wilbur’s ghost at the same time either, but before she could dig too far into it, Eret was ushering them off on their quest and they ran into Fundy wearing the infamous coat.</p><p>Now she was looking at Fundy who wasn’t looking back. It almost felt like he wasn’t looking at anything at all, just staring off into space, his voice uncharacteristically mellow, “Wilbur used to let me paint the walls as a child. As long as I didn’t get it on the furniture or ruin clothing and important documents, he let me just… go ham. I don’t think there was a single wall in that house that didn’t have a blue paw print on it eventually.”</p><p>Niki couldn’t say anything to that even if she wanted to.</p><p>“Alright, Puffy said she would be good to head back to camp herself, so that leaves us-” Eret spoke while walking back, completely oblivious to the bomb drop the previous chaos had wrought. She learned very quickly that <i>something</i> had happened, seeing as she froze when she noticed Fundy and Niki kneeling on the ground, their hands covered in blue powder.</p><p>She stared at her once-again disheveled friends for a good few seconds groaning and throwing her head back in mild annoyance, “Why does it feel like there’s some weird plot convenience to have me miss the important things while they happen?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>this was originally going to be a double update cuz this is half of a singular chapter that reached 20 something pages that i could split like chaps 3 and 4, but recently ive been Feeling Like Crap (is it because i might be sick? is it maybe a low mood i go through periodically? is burnout back in full swing and i will lose the energy to write for half a year??? who fucking knows anymore /lh) and canon decided to wake up and choose violence so fuck it, imma swing back</p><p>also this chapter kicked off the other plot that will run alongside Dysfunctional SBI, so i wanted to get it out before too long &lt;3 the next chapter is roughly 2/3 to 3/4 already written, so depending on how i feel and what school decides to do, that could be up pretty quickly</p><p>if you get what the colors reference in the title, i owe you my soul /hj </p><p>no beta, only that sweet sweet clout :&gt;<br/>If you wish to scream at me here's my <a href="https://halorocks1214.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. i am not your protagonist, im not even my own</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>You knew this was coming, right?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>cws for THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTINGGGGG *clears throat* but actually there's a family that goes at it and says some mean things to one another, a scene where a character recalls having a panic attack, a few mentions of suicidal ideation, and also some dehumanization at the end toward a character that leads to another sort-of panic attack for them as well. buckle up kiddos, its That Part of the fic</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tommy blinked open his eyes to rapid muttering.</p>
<p>“-till hasn’t shown up yet, Phil, why hasn’t he shown up?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know, mate, I don’t know-”</p>
<p>“We’ve been sitting around on our asses practically naked in terms of defense!”</p>
<p>“I think I’ve noticed that as well, Tech-”</p>
<p>“Dream had every opportunity to ream us a new one, and he hasn’t!”</p>
<p>“And I agree that it’s very suspicious, but-”</p>
<p>“At this point, I’m going to hunt him down and get these questions answered <i>myself.</i>”</p>
<p>“Okay, absolutely do <i>not-</i>”</p>
<p>Tommy had just woken up, yet he was already tired, “Can you two <i>please</i> keep it down? Men need their beauty sleep, and it’s kinda hard to get when two bumbling morons won’t shut up right above you.”</p>
<p>Techno’s anger left him in an annoyed sigh, “And he’s back in the land of the living. Pity.”</p>
<p>Tommy sat up rapidly, completely missing the fact that Phil’s wing was over him by a wide margin, “Oi! I would have loved to stay asleep just as much as you wanted me to! It’s not my fault you don’t know what a Quiet Time Voice is!”</p>
<p>Techno crossed his arms, more in amusement than anything else, “Really? <i>You’re</i> saying that?”</p>
<p>Tommy was standing up now, and he opened his mouth as if he were going to retort, but then shut it and crossed his arms like Techno, pouting his lips in a very TommyInnit-Like fashion, “Well you don’t need to be rude about it.”</p>
<p>Techno rolled his eyes and scoffed, but as Phil stood back up to get off the ground, he let out a slight grin the way his young friend’s face portrayed his annoyance as playful more than anything. Good, they needed to, at the bare minimum, tolerate each other for now, “Alright you children, let’s behave.”</p>
<p>Techno sputtered, and Tommy immediately started squawking.</p>
<p>Philza rolled his eyes before getting fully serious, “We need to figure out how to hold our own when Dream decides to show up.”</p>
<p>Philza didn’t respond but did take note of the way Tommy tensed at the man’s name, but quickly brushed it off in intentionally obnoxious fashion, “Pssh, come on, maybe he’s not even coming for us, huh? He wants us <i>dead,</i> and considering we’re <i>not</i> after this long surely means something, right?”</p>
<p>Techno let out a ‘hmm’, “I would love nothing more than something like that to be true, but the fact of the matter is that Dream locked us in this prison and wanted to personally kill us when his plans didn’t follow through. Not only have we actively run from him for that, which Dream doesn’t seem the type to like very much, he is also not the type to leave anything unfinished.”</p>
<p>Philza sighed because even though he wasn’t in denial about how they were mega-fucked, but hearing Techno say it out loud didn’t make him any less tired about it, “I’m afraid Techno is in the right, Tommy. I want a reprieve from the man too, but reprieve that’s immediately after we <i>ran away from him</i> doesn’t actually feel all that relaxing in hindsight.”</p>
<p>Philza watched as Tommy’s face fell super dejected at that, almost fearful, before a slightly more angry look overtook it, mumbling, “Of course you’d agree with him.”</p>
<p>Philza blinked but ultimately remained calm. Tommy tended to be the human embodiment of Fight Or Flight, so when his mind was stuck somewhere in the middle of it he tended to resort to more aggressive takes than normal. Philza would have more time to think about it later when they weren’t fearing for their lives.</p>
<p>The important thing was that Techno didn’t hear it. The piglin simply continued to plan their next move, “I just want those slowpokes outside to hurry up with our supposed gear. I’d feel much better planning a cohesive strategy if we knew what we’re going to have in our arsenal.”</p>
<p>Philza rubbed the back of his neck, “Yeah, there’s also the fact that it would just be <i>nice</i> to have something more than just the clothes on our backs to defend ourselves, you know?”</p>
<p>Techno nodded, but it was Tommy whose eyes widened and whose hand reached into his pocket, pulling out a <i>knife</i> from somewhere- how long has he had that- “I have this, Philza! It’s something!”</p>
<p>The older man blinked a few times before a genuine grin spread across his face, “Tommy, holy shit, kiddo. Good on you for quick thinking in bringing that with.”</p>
<p>The kid looked away quickly, making it so Philza couldn’t read his face while he talked, “Well, I just had it on me because I worked on Techno’s crown at like six in the morning. And here you’ve tried to constantly tell us that a lack of sleep is <i>bad</i> or something.”</p>
<p>Techno huffed a breath of air out through his snout in a prideful way before extending his hoof like he was going to take the weapon away, “Heh, see Philza, I told you it’s not-”</p>
<p>Before Techno could grab the knife, Tommy yanked it back, “Um, fuck no? Just because I showed it off doesn’t mean I’m trusting you with the <i>only</i> weapon we have right now?!”</p>
<p>Oh boy.</p>
<p>Before Philza could mitigate, Techno was already responding, “And why not? If anyone has the best chance at fighting him it would be me, wouldn’t it?”</p>
<p>Tommy aggressively moved the weapon away from Techno’s attempt at grabbing it again, “Yeah, and we’re somehow all in collective agreement that Dream is after <i>me,</i> if anyone needs the thing it would be the person Dream wants the most!”</p>
<p>Techno blinked, suddenly aware that the kid must have heard them conversing about possible reasons Dream was willing to drop everything for Tommy specifically, “Tommy, did you miss the part where I said I would use the knife <i>against</i> Dream? I’m keeping you safe, you child.”</p>
<p>Tommy laughed before fully shoving the knife back in his pocket, staring at Techno as if that wasn't an excuse enough, “Right, as if you have a great track record of <i>that.</i>”</p>
<p>Techno snorted only once and very aggressively. Philza had made the realization that even if he <i>could</i> sneak between them, he still wouldn’t be able to play peacekeeper, not anymore. Techno was now standing at his full height, “Excuse me? Did I not house you? Did I not let you take my things whenever you pleased? Did I not sit through <i>hours-long</i> inspections by Dream himself trying to find you while simultaneously keeping you hidden from him? What about that doesn’t constitute as <i>keeping you safe?</i>”</p>
<p>Tommy scoffed like it meant nothing, but Philza could see the way the kid softened at the memories too, “Yeah, you did, and maybe some of it was genuine, sure, I believe that! But it’s also a little hard to, Mr. Techno <i>’unless you want to call in that favor’</i> Blade, after all the ways you’ve also <i>betrayed</i> me.”</p>
<p>Techno started glaring, “Seriously, you’re back on <i>that?</i> Do we need to have another screaming match about the Festival-” </p>
<p>“Oh my god, the Tubbo thing is a done deal! I might be a <i>bitch</i> but I can shut up when it’s needed!” Tommy groaned out, rubbing his eyes. “Maybe we should talk about how you didn’t exercise your right to leave me alone in exile, you literally took time out of your day to visit me just to <i>laugh,</i> maybe we should talk about the fact you’ve always been <i>so open</i> about your ideals that you told me about destroying L’Manberg the <i>day before it fucking happened,</i> or maybe even better yet! Let’s talk about that fact that you didn’t blow up L’manberg once, but <i>twice,</i> you inconsiderate <i>dickhead!</i>”</p>
<p>… Huh?</p>
<p>Techno absolutely and dreadfully <i>hated</i> being confused, but even the mighty Blood God had to stop and think about whatever the hell Tommy’s last thing meant. His withers on the 16th did some damage, sure, but nothing compared to Wilbur’s button push. The amount Tommy’s last point threw Techno for a spin even got him calm enough to ask a genuine question, “Tommy, what?”</p>
<p>“YOU MADE WILBUR PRESS THE BUTTON!” Tommy screamed as if he was tired of them dodging the ‘real’ answer. “He said- practically <i>promised</i> me- that he would only press it if things went wrong! And guess fucking what?! You did your dumb speech, placed your fucking withers down, and then BOOM! L’Manberg was GONE! That’s a pretty big fucking thing, Technoblade!”</p>
<p>Oh. Oh, that’s not very good.</p>
<p>The older men glanced at each other nervously, very much suddenly aware of an uncomfortable detail between all of them.</p>
<p>Tommy was still fuming, “What? Why do you keep looking at each other like that? Do you have tele-pathetic abilities or something?”</p>
<p>“Tommy…” Phil breathed out, as if what he was going to say physically hurt him. “Wilbur was already in the button room. He was in it <i>way</i> before Techno even thought about going against you guys.”</p>
<p>Tommy felt the world around him start to crack, “Wh- what?” The blond let out a few nervous chuckles, his brain refusing to accept that information, “No, no, he wouldn’t have done that. Maybe Wilbur went a little- er, maybe he wasn’t all <i>with it</i> at the end but he was still Wilbur! He still wanted the best for L’Manberg, right…?”</p>
<p>Phil’s face was filled with an emotion that could only be described as pain, “Tommy, I know I’ve been vague recently, but I can <i>promise</i> you, I was in there <i>with</i> him a good few minutes at least before Techno released the withers. Wilbur was going to press that button even if Techno had a last-minute change of ideals. I’m sorry, but it’s what happened.”</p>
<p>The cracks fully broke, and Tommy could practically feel as if the floor below him actually gave away to swallow him whole. Part of him wishes that what really happened right then and there. It would have been nicer than whatever he was feeling now.</p>
<p>His eyes were wide, his pupils shrunk in horror, and tears leaked out of the corners as he turned his head down to stare at the floor. His breathing was shaky, and it was hard to tell if he had always been that pale while he had been trapped in here. He started hugging himself, “Why does everyone eventually turn against me? Was I born wrong? Was… was <i>he</i> of all people <i>right?</i>”</p>
<p>Techno’s heart twisted at the way Tommy’s last sentence quieted into a desperate whisper. Truly the words of a child who has been hurt time and time again with no answer, who’s left to fill in the blanks alone and leave them to become misshapen scars, “I don’t know, Toms, I don’t know why they keep letting themselves turn corrupt like that.”</p>
<p>The suffering on Tommy’s face quickly turned dark, and angry; what was once fearful eyes turned into pure glaring, glaring that was in Technoblade’s direction, “You have no fucking leg to stand on. Pull your head out of your goddamn ass for once in your life before you speak.”</p>
<p>Techno bristled at that, and before Philza could step in, he failed twice at the sight of Techno immediately firing back, “I’m sorry? What does that mean?”</p>
<p>Philza watched as Tommy’s laughter turned dark, much like it had when they first prevented him from trying to give himself away to Dream, “You’re sitting here acting like you’re not a part of that group? That you’re somehow <i>morally superior</i> because, what, your feelings were hurt?”</p>
<p>Okay, even Phil had to step in at that, “Okay, Tommy, there’s a lot more here going on than ‘feelings hurt’-”</p>
<p>“What?! What ‘lot more’ is going on here?!” Tommy indignantly asked. “I’m fucking <i>sorry</i> that you killed Wilbur, that his explosion damaged your wings and everything else. But to sit here and put the blame solely on this big and evil monolith of a government isn’t fair! I don’t know if you noticed, but the government wasn’t the one holding the fucking sword!”</p>
<p>Philza flinched and took a step back, obviously emotionally wounded by Tommy’s words, and Techno had enough, “Listen here you little snot-”</p>
<p>Tommy let out a singular laugh, “Oh boy, Big Bad Technoblade is going to lecture me again! At least this time he doesn’t have rocket launchers to shoot at me in the process!”</p>
<p>Technoblade’s pupils shrunk to be almost completely unseeable, “Maybe I wouldn’t have needed the rockets if you just <i>listened</i> to my concerns about how your ‘friends’ becoming corrupt to the point they literally exiled you! Again!”</p>
<p>Tommy started fully laughing, “Where the fuck was <i>that</i> on Doomsday? All you shouted at me was how I supposedly used you and betrayed you! What alta-true-es-stick motivation of trying to free us from our supposed oppression is in there? You blew up me and my friend’s homes because you were being fucking petty!”</p>
<p>Techno momentarily froze at that, cause he can at least admit when he was being particularly obtuse and not getting his point across, “Yeah, okay, maybe not all of Doomsday was purely to get rid of your government, you’re right about that, but the part of it that was retaliation was literally because of <i>your</i> tyrant of a president tried to <i>kill</i> me!”</p>
<p>“Oh my God, of course, you wouldn’t believe the evil dirty government might not potentially be the one being pressured, of course,” Tommy weakly chuckled while pinching the bridge of his nose before looking back at Techno. “You’re really going to look at my best fucking friend, Tubbo <i>I like da bee</i> Underscore, who was also the first person to forgive you about the Festival, and think maybe he normally wouldn’t do that? That he’s very much against violence even with people he doesn’t like?”</p>
<p>Techno’s hooves were clenched at his sides, “Fine. Tubbo was doing the best he could and made mistakes. But what about the rest of his little tyrannical Cabinet, huh? You said it yourself, they forced him into shit he didn’t like, they tried fucking <i>executing me without trial,</i> how is that not corruption?!”</p>
<p>Tommy threw his hands up in the air, “Because they fucked up! They made a big mistake, hell I’ll even say it was a <i>huge</i> one! But they were all trying not to be fucking <i>murdered</i> or God forbid <i>exploded again-</i> because <i>someone</i> threatened to do <i>just that-</i> and in the process didn’t handle it too well! Forgive me for taking into consideration that there’s more than one traumatized side involved here! They are my <i>close friends.</i> I’ve made jokes and played pranks and had genuinely good experiences with them around, and a messy error they made that you could have given them the chance to fix doesn’t take away how caring and thoughtful they usually are!”</p>
<p>Techno was audibly growling at this point, “You’re so-called <i>thoughtful friends</i> used me! Saw me as a tool to pass around before eventually throwing away-”</p>
<p>“AND I’M FUCKING SORRY FOR THAT, OKAY?!” Tommy screamed with the most emotion he’s felt in weeks. Something in him clicked, and by Ender was he going to get it out even if it killed him, “Fine, fucking <i>fine,</i> I’m <i>fucking</i> sorry for all the things we did, for the fact my feelings couldn’t feel genuine because I wasn’t aware some of my friends weren’t, I’m sorry we couldn’t make a perfect utopia of a country, <i>I’m fucking sorry!</i> But the fact of the matter is that I’m <i>not</i> sorry for never being able to be sorry <i>enough.</i>”</p>
<p>Out of all the things to make Techno fully stop and listen, he wasn’t aware it would be that, “Heh?”</p>
<p>Even if it <i>didn’t</i> stop Techno, Tommy appeared to be ready to keep going regardless, “You had to have every little thing be exactly how you wanted, huh? You couldn’t accept anything less. You couldn’t accept only blowing up some of L’Manberg, or potentially returning the favor to the parts of the Butcher Army that were being shitheads, L’Manberg was going to be a crater by the end of the day and we just had to accept that! Techno, I don’t think you're selfish for wanting to be seen as a person, I’m just saying that even though you got what you wanted, the idea of L’Manberg still pisses you the fuck off!”</p>
<p>Silence filled the area around them. Techno could almost see his breath condensing in front of him, “Okay, I suppose I can see the point you are making <i>now.</i> I don’t know how much of it I agree with, but I can see it. However, if you wanna go the ‘this isn’t want you said then’ route, all you were talking about on Doomsday was your stupid discs and basically implied L’Manberg was some saintly being, I got none of <i>this</i> argument then.”</p>
<p>“Because I was trying not to- to fucking have some kind of <i>flashback</i> or whatever that dumb term Tubbo and Puffy were drilling into my head the second week at the castle…” Tommy sighed dejectedly and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I wasn’t entirely there, and I’m sorry, I guess, that it prevented me from getting my point across as eloquently as I wanted to.”</p>
<p><i>Where the </i>fuck<i> was he?</i></p>
<p>
  <i>He was at L’Manberg, right? But the smell of smoke and the taste of ash, the only place that felt that way was Logstedshire, this couldn’t be L’Manberg-</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>But he did something someone wasn’t happy about, right? He upset Dream and this was his punishment-</i>
</p>
<p><i>Wait, didn’t he upset Technoblade as well? </i>God,<i> why can’t he make a decision that doesn’t end in explosions. Just once could he-</i></p>
<p>
  <i>There was a figure suddenly across the way from him, but who was it? Oh God, was Dream back already, here to make him apologize for his mistakes. Fuck, shit-</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>No, wait, it was Techno, yelling at him, talking about how he ‘would have fought them all for him’ and whatnot. God, what is happening-</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Tommy knows that despite everything, Techno isn’t anything close to Dream, but the TNT exploding around him is making his ears ring in more than one way.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Quickly, Tommy, think of something. “You bastard! T-The discs! L’Manberg-” holy shit, is that what he was going with? Sure his grip on reality might be weak at best right now, but good job, dumbass, for making it seem like you’ve got nothing to go off of while you screech like a banshee-</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“I am a person!” the piglin cried out.</i>
</p>
<p><i>“You are, Techno! But so are </i>we!<i>” Tommy cried back, but deep down the words felt feeble, more muffled than his others due to the blood rapidly rushing to his head. The ringing in his ears got even louder. Oh God, he hurt his friend again, didn’t he? Just like Dream said, just like Dream implied he would. He really was the worst-</i></p>
<p><i>Couldn’t he just stop </i>screaming?<i> Nothing of what he’s saying made any sense, and it’s not like he had any ground to stand on after all of </i>this.<i> At this point he couldn’t even tell what he was saying. The blood in his ears was too loud and if he took any focus off his attempts at breathing he’d probably pass out. Maybe Dream should have done more than just blown him up-</i></p>
<p>“Tommy…” Phil whispered out, catching the attention of the younger men, as well as brought Tommy back to reality. “Why would you be having a <i>flashback?</i> I would get panicking, or- or even dissociating, but a flashback implies… When has this happened before? Oh… is it Wilbur?”</p>
<p>Tommy suddenly stared at the ground, expression unreadable, “... You have no idea what he did to me, do you?”</p>
<p>The whiplash that went through Techno and Phil was an indescribable amount. Techno felt his mouth go dry as Phil spoke for him again, “What? Tommy, are we still talking about Wilbur?”</p>
<p>It was silent for a few more seconds before Tommy started giggling uncontrollably, as if Phil told a knee-slapping joke, “I mean, sure, I <i>wasn’t</i> talking about him, but we might as well since that ball is finally rolling! It’s not like he was much different than other people in the long run anyway!”</p>
<p>As time went on, Techno got increasingly but subtly guilty about the whole ‘Alivebur in Pogtopia’ situation for a multitude of reasons. Leave it to Tommy to bring it up to the forefront like a hammer was being beaten over his head. If there was anything Tommy was just as good at as Techno, it was not beating around the bush like others did, or maybe not anymore, considering how at least 80% of his conversations with Tommy have been cryptic as all hell, “Listen, I know that my involvement in the whole Wilbur Situation wasn’t the best-”</p>
<p>“Did you miss the point that I wasn’t talking about Wilbur in the first place?!” Tommy snapped, limit having been fully reached for the day. “God, no wonder we’re all such a happy fucking family. We just deflect and deflect and deflect so we don’t have to think about it too hard, huh? To team up with Dream, you just shoved most of my problems off onto the evil government, probably assumed my shakiness and fear was because of the conditions of my exile, you heard about some things Dream did and said ‘yeah, we should look into it at some point’ so when the big fight came around it gave you an excuse not to have to do it right away, I mean, fuck! When Dream came to your house and I was about two seconds away from jumping out the window you probably thought I just didn’t want to be forced to go back to my shitty exile, right? Not how I was scared of him and him alone? You thought every possible thought so the act of teaming up with the one asshole who has ripped my life to hell and back wouldn’t be such a sin in your eyes, but didn’t think enough to stop all together. Guess all of us really are just stubborn bitches who will find any excuse to do what we want, God…”</p>
<p>And that, right then and there, was finally when Phil and Techno had to admit they were left speechless by not saying anything for once.</p>
<p>Tommy groaned and rubbed his eyes, “Fuck this, I didn’t come in here to save you to make you suddenly care. I’m going to take a break, come find me when you stop this dumb charade of wanting to make sure I’m happy and healthy.”</p>
<p>Phil vaguely reached his hand out in front of him, as if he could stop Tommy with the flick of his wrist, “Tommy, wait, we still don’t want you to-”</p>
<p>“I’m not going to give myself up to Dream if that’s what you’re worried about for some reason,” Tommy spoke. His voice was deadpan again, and Techno wasn’t a fan of himself no longer being the only one who was deadpan. He especially didn’t like how Tommy turned his head around to face them, a creepy grin adorning his face, “I should be thanking you, though. You’ve reminded me I’m too much of a coward to end it in any way shape or form, which is probably a shame. If I just did it back then none of this would have probably happened.”</p>
<p>Before Techno and Phil could object to <i>that,</i> Tommy was around the corner and out of their sights. </p>
<p>Techno couldn’t help the slight high-pitched noise filling his head. Part of him was missing the voices right now, at least they could give him <i>some</i> kind of direction to go in. If the voices weren’t there, then he could at least go to Phil for help-</p>
<p>Looking over at his long time friend, Techno soon realized he wouldn’t be getting support from there, seeing as the man was as white as a sheet and about five seconds away from collapsing, “Phil, hey, what’s wrong-”</p>
<p>The man suddenly backed away, panic evident on his face, “S-Sorry, Techno, I think I need a moment to m-myself-” Phil stuttered, before turning around and speed walking away to be alone just like Tommy. Part of Techno’s brain is trying to scream at him that splitting up is how people tend to get killed, but the other, human- ironically enough- part of him was glad he was by himself as well.</p>
<p>Ender, sweet Ender, his mind was going a mile a minute and he didn’t even know where to start. Before he could begin to comprehend what the next step he should take was, slow clapping sounded out from behind him. Practically flinging himself around, Techno didn’t even try holding back the snarl that came from his lips, his tusks baring themselves in all their fury.</p>
<p>Just like he thought, Dream stepped out from the shadows still clapping, his stupid mask still stupid as ever, and only stopped about ten-ish so feet away from Techno, “Well, what a performance that was, eh, Technoblade?”</p>
<p>Techno tried grabbing a weapon he didn’t have, and instead resorted to groaning in anger, “You absolute <i>bastard,</i> you- you utter <i>animal,</i> what makes you think you can just waltz in after that like you’re not some kind of <i>monster,</i> like anything you have done is <i>right?</i>”</p>
<p>Techno was unfazed by the masked man’s chuckles, “Oh, Blade…” That is, Techno was unfazed until Dream asked his next question, “If I’m a monster, then what does that make you?”</p>
<p>Time itself stopped, and an icy vice grip wrapped its way around Techno’s chest, “The <i>fuck</i> does that <i>mean?</i>”</p>
<p>“Ooh, careful now, don’t want to get demonetized,” Dream said coyly; as if they were friends speaking with playful banter. “I’m just saying, you’re getting on my high horse for the exact same things you’ve done, but I’m just confused as to why you’re making it out to be a bad thing, you know? I personally thought you were doing an amazing job until Tommy came in and fucked it all up like he always does.”</p>
<p>Techno felt the familiar feelings of a panic attack well up within him, “Wh- I’m sorry, but that doesn’t make any <i>sense-</i>”</p>
<p>“I mean, Tommy clearly disobeyed my orders, even after <i>everything</i> I had done for him,” Dream began. Motherfucker, he was <i>prepared</i> for this- “I tried to show him that his friends back home didn’t care for him- just like you proceeded to do. I was one of the few people to give him things that he could use- <i>just</i> like you- that he went and took for granted and- oh? Sound familiar?”</p>
<p>Despite being much smaller than Techno, the piglin couldn’t help the step he took backward when the human came closer, “S-Stop, it, you-”</p>
<p>Dream wasn’t done, <i>why wasn’t he done-</i> “Then, even after all of that, after the things I’ve sacrificed for him, the things I told him I would do <i>just</i> for him, you know what I did?” Dream paused for dramatic effect, but Techno wasn’t going to give him any more satisfaction of some kind of reply. Seems like Dream still didn’t care, though, “I taught him a lesson, I <i>blew it all up!</i>”</p>
<p>Tommy said something about a flashback. <i>This had happened before it happened before it HAPPENED BEFORE-</i></p>
<p>Dreams chuckles became quiet laughter at the dawning realization on the piglin’s face, “I remember those times when I came to your house. Those times you hid him and I let you get away with it. I was worried about the… <i>emotional attachment</i> you seemed to be forming again with the kid, but then I remembered how Tommy usually goes and hurts those around him. I knew I wouldn’t have to do anything, he would do it for me, and look where that got him!”</p>
<p>Techno’s words were lost to him, the voices being their loudest yet screaming everything between <b>PROTECT! BLOOD! BLOOD GOD! L’MANBERG IS GONE! HOMELESS TELETUBBY! DREAM IS A BITCH! TECHNO WAS RIGHT! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!</b> and never before now has Techno despised them as much, “A-All of you <i>zip it</i> I can’t <i>think-</i>”</p>
<p>Dream must see the inner turmoil because Techno can <i>feel</i> the slimy grin from underneath his mask, “I don’t know why you always get up in arms about <i>power corrupting</i> or whatever. It <i>clearly</i> works in your favor, after all. And, truly, a wonderful display it was. The only way they were going to listen to you is if you demonstrated it fully, and I’ve never been more proud! Someone had to put those selfish idiots in their place, and it wasn’t going to happen unless they were smitten down by literal Gods or something. Like, by a <i>Blood God</i> or two even… aha, would you look at that?”</p>
<p>That’s it, Technoblade was going to rip his ears off to avoid listening to this any longer, “<i>SHUT UP!</i>”</p>
<p>He blinked a few tears out of his eyes, his breathing erratic as he looked around for the green bastard, but he couldn’t see Dream anywhere. The man appeared to have vanished, and Techno was halfway between being angrier at him for it or being thankful he didn’t have to hear his bullshit anymore.</p>
<p><i>But was it bullshit?</i> something ringed out in the back of his head, <i>It sounds like all you achieved was making people </i>scared<i> of you. They don’t listen to you because they’re too busy trying to run away-</i></p>
<p>“No. No no no…” Techno panicked. He tried thinking a way out of his spiral, but the voices in his head were no longer conflicted. No, what little of telling himself off was completely gone, totally silent. Now all the voices currently screaming were only saying how right he was, how those people really did deserve utter destruction and chaos, about how their blood lust was satiated but they still craved <i>more.</i></p>
<p>He stumbled back until he hit the wall, his hooves being clasped over his ears as he slid down it, his chest heaving what little air it succeeded in trying to get back. All of the news he was hit with, all of the evidence of what he had potentially done in his quest in just <i>trying</i> to help combined into a terrifying reality.</p>
<p>Techno found himself curling into a fetal position for the first time in forever. Not after his attempted execution, not after Tommy left him, <i>this</i> is what brought him back down to reality. The cold hard realization that despite everything he’s done, he truly never stopped being what all those village mothers whispered to their children as he walked by.</p>
<p>
  <i>“They’re the real monsters, Tech,” Phil reassured him after a shopping trip. “They’re nothing more than judgmental pricks who have too much time on their hands to not get to know the real you, okay?”</i>
</p>
<p>After everything L’Manberg had done to the closest thing Techno considered family, after all the ways they hurt them despite how much they had given up for the damn place, Techno always looked back on Phil’s words when they continued to hurt them. How they drove Wilbur to insanity. How they continued to beat down Tommy like he was <i>nothing.</i></p>
<p>The thing though, he’s realizing, is how much he had a part in it. It was easy to lay the blame on them all, he was ultimately trying to do his best to get people to see how much they were hurting those around them, how they were hurting <i>themselves,</i> yet how did Techno achieve that in the process, huh? His big, final glory, his <i>grand acte finale</i> after all of it?</p>
<p><i>They’re monsters,</i> everyone whispered to him, showed to him, <i>proved</i> to him time and time again-</p>
<p>But they were none more than himself.</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>Ghostbur floated into the walls again, “Heyyyy, we’re baaaack! Sorry that took a little bit, but we wanted to make sure that-”</p>
<p>When he looked up to see no one there, he froze. He turned his head to look everywhere, even using his hands to rub his eyes as if something got in them. He was disappointed to see that his family didn’t magically appear after that.</p>
<p>“... Guys?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>me: man i love you c!techno even if ur kinda an ass and a hypocrite you still have a soft side a lot of people overlook, but damn would it be nice for you to realize the "ass" and "hypocrite" part a lil bit<br/>c!dream: allow me to introduce myself :)<br/>me: no waIT NOT LIKE THAT-</p>
<p>also not to get too A/N-y but just to reiterate bcuz it may not seem like it and to assuage some maybe fears: not everything up there is something i believe in or even think is right, but thats the joys of writing stories fellas!!! everything has a reason (i hope), and those reasons will either be addressed or explained at some point<br/>also if you think that them splitting up is Majorly Stupid like that: <b><i>Good.</i></b> these mfs have <i>issues</i> and have refused to go to therapy, something like aggressively bringing up all of their repressed emotions in a heated, stressed moment is going to make their Already Kinda Bad Thinking Skills Worse<br/>also also im very aware that doomsday was not this altruistic in canon, but you know, found fami *gets shot*</p>
<p>no beta bcuz i wanted to get this out and make you suffer /lh &lt;3<br/>If you wish to scream at me here's my <a href="https://halorocks1214.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. he said, "i cant really seem to read you"</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Conversations are had, some truths are spoken, and friendships both new and old are beginning to be rekindled.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>cw for panic attacks, low self-esteem from multiple characters, mentions of amnesia/blanking on a lot of time, talks about involvement in problems and who is 'to blame' for everything, talks about suicidal thoughts/behaviors as well as assisted suicide once, etc. there is also minor self-harm in the form of hair pulling a few times</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As Tubbo watched Ranboo shuffle the boxes around so they could be in the best order for maximum teleportation abilities, Tubbo figured he could finally have his moment of snapping. If things before couldn’t already be considered that, “I wanna get married.”</p>
<p>Ranboo shot up straight as a board, dropping the box of weapons in his hands in shock. He swiveled around to look Tubbo dead in his cheerful, nonchalant eyes, “Uh, what?”</p>
<p>Tubbo hummed, as if asking one of your friends for their hand in marriage was completely normal, “I think we should get married! Maybe for tax purposes, maybe just for shits and giggles who knows, I just… have been thinking... about some stuff.”</p>
<p>Ranboo tilted his head in curiosity before strolling over, ignoring how comically tall he was right next to his friend, “What kind of stuff?”</p>
<p>Tubbo brought his arms around himself in a pity hug, “I don’t know… I’ve been thinking about what I’ll do when Tommy gets out, how our friendship will go from there.” Ranboo reached forward to take Tubbo’s hands away from his sides in a firm but gentle grasp, something the hybrid remembered helped during the presidency. Tubbo let out a shaky exhale, “We’ve been attached at the hip for the past three weeks, and the first sign he was gone again I… I’ve been in shambles. I don’t want to be in shambles anymore, ‘Boo…”</p>
<p>Ranboo grimaced slightly, more because he truly felt for Tubbo. Poor guy had repeatedly received the short end of the stick just as much as Tommy. He sounded vaguely sleep-deprived, and who wouldn’t be right now? “Yeah, I feel that. Why pick me though? I think Marrying For Tax Purposes would be a total you and Tommy thing.”</p>
<p>Tubbo laughed, finally grasping Ranboo’s hands back and swinging them to and from like a child would when really happy, or loopy, “I love Tommy, but he would probably hit me if I suggested anything to do with the topic of marriage. Besides, he and I are yin and yang. As much as opposites attract, I think a more balanced, similar option would work better, so hello Ranboo, my wonderful ex-Cabinet member!” </p>
<p>Ranboo laughed, Tubbo’s explanation so very Tubbo, “Well hello to you too, dear ex-president, what makes us similar?”</p>
<p>Tubbo’s fingers splayed themselves against Ranboo’s claws in a frozen high five of sorts, “We just want what’s best for people, want everyone to be happy through whatever means necessary, heh, both decorated an important Festival… though you weren’t executed at yours, thank Ender I prevented <i>that.</i>”</p>
<p>Ranboo blinked, his friend’s hands feeling so fragile all of a sudden, “You were <i>what-</i>”</p>
<p>“I CAN’T FIND THEM!” a voice screeched.</p>
<p>The two teenagers jumped back before looking at where the scream came from. Its source appeared to be Ghostbur, who was rushing back out of the jail with horror on his face, “They’re- they’re not <i>there.</i> The spot I remembered them being at was barren, and I checked! I checked the nearby areas too, but those were also empty!” Ghostbur’s hands came up to squish his cheeks in panic, “They could be anywhere in there!”</p>
<p>Tubbo felt the world fall out beneath them.</p>
<p>Tommy was… gone. Tommy was <i>gone.</i></p>
<p>“No. No no no,” Tubbo’s breathing was super flimsy, he needed to get a grip before he fell over. “Please tell me there wasn’t a sign they were actually there, tell me this is all a big bad nightmare.”</p>
<p>Ghostbur was trembling, why was he trembling- “That’s the worst thing! Some of Philza’s feathers were still in the area, meaning I was <i>right</i> and they definitely <i>are</i> gone!”</p>
<p>Tubbo’s chest cracked. He felt his arms come back around him as he tripped backward and away from his friends, what little air he could suck in quickly forcing itself back out, its only purpose to hurt him, “No, not again, <i>please</i> not again, I can’t lose him, not after all of <i>this-</i>”</p>
<p>Tubbo tripped but recovered by turning around and shooting a hand out to catch himself. It kept him upright long enough that he was able to get his feet under him, the underside of his toes kicking up some dirt as he started mindlessly sprinting… <i>somewhere.</i></p>
<p>Anywhere but here.</p>
<p>“Wait, Tubbo, you just said you wanted to work on-!” but Ranboo’s voice still died off regardless. Tubbo was on a one-track mind and that mind was stuck on getting as far away from that building as possible. He needed to get away before the obsidian morphed to look like a giant tower that breached the clouds.</p>
<p><i>No,</i> Tubbo whispered in his mind as tears flew off his face from his speed, “Not Tommy.”</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>Tubbo wasn’t sure where he was running, but he knew he ran for a long time because eventually, he reached a large hole and- jeez he should probably stop before he fell in-</p>
<p>Skidding to a stop, Tubbo was breathing heavily as he looked out over- oh.</p>
<p>He was at L’Manberg. Did he really run for <i>that</i> long?</p>
<p>Blinking a few times, he almost missed a faraway voice shouting at him, “Wow, did you run a marathon or something Big Man?”</p>
<p>Feeling his heart jump, Tubbo flicked his head in the direction it came from. He was exhausted, so he momentarily forgot about the whole ‘best friend trapped in giant building’ problem, and even the slightest Tommy-like thing would make his already all-over-the-place emotions go even crazier. Alas, when his eyes saw Quackity sitting on a set of fencing not falling over or scorched, Tubbo couldn’t stop the slight dejection that filled his shoulders, “Hey Big Q, and yeah, kind of.”</p>
<p>Quackity nodded his head as Tubbo walked over, allowing Quackity to no longer need to shout at him, “I assumed, I assumed, but why? Weren’t you guys getting the stuff in the prison or something? I didn’t think it would leave enough time for you to get some exercise in.”</p>
<p>Tubbo felt his lips thin in shame, unsure of how to word what exactly happened, “Well, you see, um, Ghostbur went in but couldn’t… find them.”</p>
<p>Quackity raised his eyebrows, “Oh?”</p>
<p>Tubbo placed his hands against the part of the fence Big Q wasn’t on and pushed against it, leaning forward with most of his weight on his toes, “He couldn’t… when he went to the spot they were last seen at they weren’t there. He flew around the nearby areas as well and still couldn’t find anything. For all we know they’re not even in there anymore.”</p>
<p>Tubbo could see out of the corner of his eye how Quackity got uncomfortable by the implications. Seemed that he too, was understanding the severity, “Well, at least they aren’t dead? We would have gotten a message from our communicators. At least one person is watching one at all times, and since nothing has been mentioned, I’d say we’re in the clear there.”</p>
<p>Tubbo rolled his eyes, chuckling in a way that said nothing about this was funny, “Yeah, small miracles.” Tubbo felt his fists tighten around the fence post and a few tears slip down his face, “First I can’t save my country, practically ruin it for everyone and now I can’t even save my best friend from a stupid fucking building.”</p>
<p>Quackity made no move to reply. Before Tubbo could help himself, his shoulders tensed because of the silence, and he refused to turn his head to look at Quackity. He didn’t want to risk the emotion he would see on his older friend’s face at his confession. Hell, did Quackity even consider Tubbo that anymore? At this point, Tubbo wouldn’t bla-</p>
<p>“You know…” Quackity started again after a little bit. “It’s so shitty that you of all people ended up with horns.”</p>
<p>Tubbo snapped his head up at lightning speed. What- how- when- Quackity knew about the horns? <i>Quackity?</i> Tubbo felt his breath pick up speed involuntarily, “Wh- Is that metaphorical?”</p>
<p>Quackity turned to glance at Tubbo, a forlorn grin on his face. One that was riddled with fondness and shame, “One morning I thought you hadn’t woken up yet. I was coming in to check up on you when I saw you messing with your hair. Didn’t think it mattered to what New L’Manberg was focusing on at the time so I let it go, forgot about it for a little bit too. Clearly, it was something you wanted a secret, and gee, I wonder why.”</p>
<p>Tubbo swallowed spit as if the liquid was a rock, trailing roughly down his throat and threatening to choke him right then and there. Not that Tubbo thought it would be unwelcome at this point, if he were to be honest, “Oh- I mean, well, I’m-”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, Tubbo.”</p>
<p>Tubbo might have shut up, but that didn’t mean his mouth closed because of it. In fact, it was wide open in shock, “What?”</p>
<p>Quackity turned to fully look at Tubbo with a smile that was pure self-deprecation. He brought his arms to wrap himself in a weak hug, “God, I don’t know. I’ve had time to think about how I handled my role in the Cabinet and I just can’t help but realize how I did everything I wanted to avoid.” He chuckled, not funnily, before looking away again, leaving Tubbo to be able to see the tear track that traced his eye scar perfectly, “I don’t know why you got the horns when it seems like I was the one that deserved them in the end.”</p>
<p>Something in Tubbo broke at that. </p>
<p>Before he could help himself, he was bowling into Quackity’s side and wrapping his arms around his older friend, careful to make sure his horns didn’t hit anything, or at least anything vital. Tubbo squeezed as much as his five-foot-five tall body could muster and nuzzled his face as far into Quackity as he could physically manage, “<i>Please</i> don’t say that about yourself. <i>Please</i> never say you’re anything like Schlatt. Not after… not after what he did to you.”</p>
<p>Tubbo heard Quackity exhale a shaky breath before he loosely wrapped his arms back around the teen. Tubbo used the word ‘loosely’ very heavily here because Quackity more or less draped his arms instead, like he was worried hugging Tubbo too hard would shatter the ex-president, “Maybe I shouldn’t, but the evidence is there. He seemed to rub off on me a little bit.”</p>
<p>Tubbo shook his head while it was still buried in Quackity’s chest, “How? How are you anything like <i>that?</i>”</p>
<p>Tubbo could vaguely feel Quackity start to comfortingly rub his back. Good, Quackity doesn’t deserve to feel like his touch is poison, “Tubbo, you're really going to sit there and say I didn’t hurt you?”</p>
<p>Tubbo froze in his arms, which was the worst way he could have reacted.</p>
<p>Quackity practically audibly swallowed the spit in his mouth, “Ranboo and Tommy have knocked some sense into my head, and thank Ender they’re your friends. I don’t know how much longer I could have gone on with missing the signs of how stressed and uncomfortable we were making you until something even worse happened.”</p>
<p>Trying to rectify his mistake, Tubbo went back to squeezing Quackity even harder, “Okay, yes, fine, I can finally say that you hurt me, you did, but there’s being obtuse and tunnel-visioned for a little bit and then there’s- there’s whatever the hell Schlatt had going on! The two aren’t the same!”</p>
<p>Quackity kept going, still tried to make himself out to be the worst thing on the planet, “How? How can any kind of ‘person who pressures someone into doing things they don’t want to do’ be different from one another at the end of the day?”</p>
<p>Tubbo wanted to tear his hair out, “Here’s an idea, how’s about it’s because most of the time you’re a really good fucking friend and the fact that I at least partially <i>agreed</i> with you! Not one hundred percent of the time but at least a little! I can’t remember even a singular moment when I agreed with Schlatt, so there!”</p>
<p>Stomping his foot at the end of his tirade might have been a little childish, but goddammit, Tubbo had potentially lost one friend already tonight, he wasn’t going to lose another for any other reason. Especially if the reason was that their dumb idiot friend’s brain was making them think things about themself that weren’t true.</p>
<p>Quackity’s breathing was labored in that way that said he was considering Tubbo’s words, thank Ender, “When did you agree with me? All I’ve been seeing from you and hearing from others was how I essentially forced you into a corner most of the time. You haven’t made a move to say any of it’s wrong, and why would you? You’ve been railroaded into staying quiet most of the time you’ve been here, don’t deny it.”</p>
<p>“Maybe the railroading comes from the fact that everyone needs to shut up and let me speak for once in my goddamn life!” Tubbo snapped while finally shoving himself out of Quackity’s embrace. He proceeded to throw his arms up in the air in exasperation, “I’m tired of letting everything be my fault, but I can’t just sit here and say I had no part in it. Techno’s excuse of peer pressure is flimsy because peer pressure is a flimsy excuse altogether! I <i>agreed</i> with the Butcher Army, still do, to be honest, but if I do regret anything it’s how we handled it. I got peer pressured into it, then let it get to my head and went over the top. I’m not saying that negates our feelings, or- or suddenly puts Techno in the right, but I’m tired of this ball of blame being thrown around to whoever is most convenient at the time.”</p>
<p>Tubbo felt all the tension in his body leave with one fell swoop as he leaned back against the railing, “Tommy’s an amazing friend, but his strategy of taking <i>everything</i> off my shoulders doesn’t… sit well with me. For a few reasons. It was nice to be defended so vehemently for a while, especially after everything that’s happened, but now it’s just stagnating progress. I want to be better, I want <i>everyone</i> to be better, and that involves going around and pointing out each of our involvements in this mess.”</p>
<p>Quackity was staring at him with the most heartfelt eyes Tubbo had ever seen on the man. The ex-Cabinet member sighed before looking back out at the sunset, “We’re all a bunch of fucked up nerds, aren’t we.”</p>
<p>Deadpan, straight to the point and with no question mark; Tubbo found himself laughing, not unkindly, as he turned to look out in the same direction as his older friend, “I think a nicer way of putting is that we’re all a little too hot-headed for our own good, but yeah, fucked up nerds sounds cooler.”</p>
<p>Tubbo noticed the tension leave Quackity as well, “Yep, the coolest of the cool.”</p>
<p>The two sat there in silence gazing out at the orange and pink sky, feeling the breeze flow through their hair. Despite everything beforehand, both in their entire lives and the previous conversation, it felt… peaceful. Relaxing even. Nothing was close to being okay just yet, but for some reason, Tubbo didn’t mind it all that much at the moment</p>
<p>The brunette took a deep breath. Tommy was Tommy, his occasionally annoying friend who screamed too much in an attempt to hide his true feelings and nature. Who pulled the spotlight toward himself so Tubbo didn’t have to be under it. Maybe that’s why Tubbo cracked so badly during his presidency in more ways than one; Tommy wasn’t the only one Dream knew would suffer from being separated so suddenly. The separation was going to happen eventually, Tubbo thought, with how they were handling everything, but to split them cold turkey like that… it seemed to just make their need to be together at all times even worse.</p>
<p>Bringing his arms around himself, Tubbo watched the sun completely dip underneath the horizon, unfurling the night around them like a cold banner. The only thing missing was Tommy not being there to tell him he’s being sappy again. Which was why Tubbo’s rip-roaring ready to bust into that jail and break him out, Tommy had been through too much to let this finally be the thing to finish him off. They had too many open ends they needed to close.</p>
<p>The bastard’s too stubborn to die even when he’s ‘dead’, after all.</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>Ranboo eventually trudged back to camp, the sun long gone beneath the edge of the server.</p>
<p>He so desperately wanted to chase after Tubbo, to help his friend more than anything, but Tubbo could be anywhere at this point. Ranboo should save his energy for when Tubbo came back and needed reassurance then instead of wasting it on trying and possibly failing to find him. Tubbo wouldn’t do anything particularly stupid, so hopefully, Ranboo could just sit in his tent and listen for when the brunette came back to home base.</p>
<p>Yep, Tubbo wouldn’t do anything dumb or reckless that hurt himself in the process. Totally. He was completely okay and fine and only ran away momentarily, certainly not forever-</p>
<p>The same panic that gripped Ranboo’s chest when Tubbo first booked it was back, and before he could help it, Ranboo was rushing out of his tent, throwing his advice from mere moments ago out the window and-</p>
<p>“Oh, are you here to catch an early night? Sorry, I can move if you are, I forgot how this gets kinda loud,” a voice spoke out from the clearing, almost making Ranboo teleport 50 feet into the air.</p>
<p>Looking at where it came from, Ranboo’s eyes widened at the sight of a slightly unfamiliar person. Jeez, Rambo must have wandered back in a total daze. He didn’t even notice the guy while walking back in, though, it seemed like the guy didn’t notice him either, so win-win? Or could it be considered a lose-lose in this scenario-</p>
<p>Blargh, not important at the moment. Okay, so, Ranboo might be somewhat forgetful, but he tried his best to keep names in his back pocket at the very least. Right, right, the guy with the cool headband and flame insignia, the one currently shining and sharpening the sword in his hands signifying he was into fighting; fighters tended to their weapons more than others usually. Ranboo… was suddenly remembering that out of everyone here this guy might be one of the few he didn’t interact with all that much.</p>
<p>“Oh!” it hit Ranboo like a punch. “That’s right, your name’s Sapnap. You’re friends with Dream, yeah?”</p>
<p>Sapnap seemed to freeze at that, making it slowly dawn on Ranboo that maybe Dream was the last thing he should have brought up. Sapnap exhaled, “... Technically speaking, yes.”</p>
<p>Ranboo felt his tail swish back and forth nervously. He was at an impasse of sorts; he doesn’t particularly know Sapnap outside of his PVP skills (Techno muttered about the arsonist nearly nailing him on Doomsday more than once) and his- previous? ex?- friendship with Dream, and if Ranboo knew anything that was a bad combination for himself to be next to. But he also tried to be kind to everyone, and Sapnap sitting there silently and pensively gave the enderman hybrid the feeling that he should say <i>something.</i> Even if it wasn’t the right thing or the best, they needed to get this conversation rolling.</p>
<p>Conveniently enough, Sapnap stood up using one of his knees and sighing, “Sorry, you don’t need to carry anyone’s baggage. Especially not mine since we don’t really know one another yet and- heh, it’s hard to say if my baggage is worth talking about anyway.”</p>
<p>Ranboo’s mind flashed to his loud blond friend, as well as his much quieter brunette one, and immediately felt uncomfortable by Sap’s attempt at lessening the situation, “I mean maybe, but baggage is still baggage. What’s a puddle to a tall dog is a lake to a smaller… one oh my god that was so stupid.” He proceeded to place his head in his hands, hoping Sap would be kind enough to only mildly chuckle.</p>
<p>Instead of anything humiliating, Sapnap froze, blinked at him, and rolled his eyes fondly. He placed the sword he was sharpening in his belt and crossed his arms, “Man, that almost sounds like something Dream would have said back before all of this.” Before Ranboo could register that statement, he heard Sapnap sigh and rub the back of his neck, “Maybe you should go before I ruin you too.”</p>
<p>Ranboo snapped his head out of his hands to stare with wide eyes at Sapnap. <i>What?</i></p>
<p>Sapnap grinned, understanding how that statement could come across as confusing, “Sorry if this fact gives creepy stalker vibes, but the night before Tommy got trapped inside the big building I stumbled upon your guys’ conversation and eavesdropped a little bit. He seemed pretty terrified of Dream, and the few things I heard him say about what my so-called ‘friend’ did to him… I think the only reason I didn’t throw up was because you guys would have heard me, heh.”</p>
<p>Uh, what, hang on, no, Ranboo doesn’t remember ever talking to Tommy about Dream? Ranboo doesn’t remember there being a day before Tommy getting trapped either. Tommy surely never mentioned it, though, Ranboo should know Tommy would do something like that at this point. Regardless of how or why, that was a <i>lot</i> of time Ranboo was blanking on. </p>
<p>As Sapnap focused on taking one of his hands and pinching the bridge of his nose to try and wipe the memory away, Ranboo quickly pulled out his Memory Book and flicked through the pages. Alas, he found nothing in between <i>Camp Investigation has been set up. Ghostbur shouldn’t start fires ever again</i> and <i>Tommy ran after Dream and into the mystery building. Could be dead or alive at this moment. <s>Schrodinger’s Tommy</s></i></p>
<p>Did he forget something important <i>again?</i></p>
<p>“Anyway,” Sapnap started, making Ranboo snap his book shut and hide it once more. The hybrid’s full attention was on the older man now, who seemed even more dejected, “Tommy seemed to flip flop back and forth between being upset that Dream got on him for ‘being his chaotic self’ or feeling really, really bad for ‘causing a lot of issues’ and… I’ve had a lot of time to think since then, realized how I did a lot of the same things Tommy did. Burned some shit down, created problems on purpose, the yuzh, but I didn’t think about how my friends took it. Did Dream secretly hate it? Was Dream secretly bothered by my actions and didn’t feel comfortable to say anything? Gods, did I push him over the edge into going after an easier target he wouldn’t feel bad about?”</p>
<p>Oh. Oh jeez, that was certainly a can of worms. The worst part was that Ranboo couldn’t even tell him no, that Sapnap had it wrong, because the guy could absolutely be right. Ranboo hadn’t been around long enough to understand many people on this server, let alone Dream. For all he knew, Sapnap was completely on the mark, which, uh, sucked. To be quite honest.</p>
<p>Sapnap continued like a certified steamroller, steadfast in his somewhat self-deprecating opinion, “Shit, I shouldn’t have dumped that on you. Sounds pretty dumb out loud now that I think about it. You go get your sleep or whatever you came back here for, I’m going to hunt for more food-”</p>
<p>“Maybe that’s true but that doesn’t mean it’s your fault you know?”</p>
<p>Sapnap snapped his head around to look at Ranboo right as the hybrid threw a hand over his own mouth. Great, awesome, he genuinely meant what he said but if Sapnap wanted him to elaborate it might just be the worst-</p>
<p>“What?” Sapnap questioned. “How is my specific actions driving one of my closest friends into- to whatever he is now not my fault?”</p>
<p>Fuck. He does want Ranboo to elaborate.</p>
<p>Taking a giant deep breath, Ranboo exhaled slowly as he moved his hand back down next to his hip. He was good with words, he was good with words for sure, don’t make it seem like he wasn’t, “If Dream’s obsession with whatever he’s going for can be traced back to you, and partially be because he didn’t feel comfortable telling you that, then the only thing that can be even mildly considered your fault is potentially not presenting yourself as open-minded to change as you thought you were.”</p>
<p>Sapnap grimaced, “But-”</p>
<p>“Listen,” Ranboo interrupted. Where the hell was this spine coming from all of a sudden? Was it because of the Tommy and Tubbo situation? Not being able to comfort his friends so the next best option would have to suffice? Who knew, Ranboo was on a roll regardless, “I’m going to be honest, I don’t know you very well. Maybe you were a stubborn son of a bitch that wouldn’t have changed if Dream asked you to, I can’t say for certain, but I do know that there were plenty of options Dream could have gone for if he was <i>that</i> uncomfortable with the chaos you said you made. Like, I can count on more than two hands the things he could have done outside of borderline kidnapping a child- the youngest person he knew no less- and taking it out on him by treating him worse than even the literal livestock on this server.”</p>
<p>Sapnap appeared to only be able to rapidly blink at the enderman. Before either of them knew it, Sapnap was groaning and placing his head in his hands, “What kind of life am I living where I need to get literal advice about my closest friend becoming a monster from a teenager. Am I just that fucked up?”</p>
<p>Ranboo sadly grinned, walking over to pat the shorter man on the shoulder, “Hey, in your defense, I think all of us are a little fucked up at the moment. Besides, you’re how much older than me? Not a lot, right? Sure, you have more experience, but in the grand scheme of the plot, we have equal amounts of growing to do. All I ask is that you guys reciprocate the help a little bit? I don’t mean to sound selfish, but it sucks constantly giving and getting nothing in return. I think we all need to get better about not leaving each other in the dust.”</p>
<p>Sapnap let out a hearty chuckle, “You know what? Fair enough, no more leaving anyone behind. I know what it feels like and it fucking sucks dick.”</p>
<p>Ranboo nodded excitedly, “Exactly. Now, you said you wanted to go hunting a little bit? Mind showing me the ropes?” Half-distraction and half-Ranboo-actually-wants-to-learn-this-please, Techno showed him some of the ropes a little bit but Ranboo figured getting more than one opinion was always the best way to learn something</p>
<p>Sapnap’s grin got even wider, “Oh hell yeah. First, you give bomb-ass advice and now you want to partake on Baby’s First Hunt? You’re going to shape up to be amazing, kid.”</p>
<p>Sapnap threw an arm around Ranboo’s shoulders. At least, as much as he could. Ranboo wanted to point out that the man seemed to be straining his joint uncomfortably due to the height difference, but hey, it looked like it made him happier, so who was Ranboo to tell him to stop? </p>
<p>As the two walked into the thicker part of the forest, they conversed about everything. Plans for the future, the basics of hunting and gathering, they even eventually reached the topic of their favorite animals alongside Ranboo aggressively keeping that topic’s tone to a less murder-y one. The hybrid hoped ‘Pet Killing’ was metaphoric somehow? Please? Thankfully, soon afterward they found a good clearing to set up traps, Sapnap immediately getting into the nitty-gritty of such a thing, and Ranboo happily listening to his tips.</p>
<p>A feeling tinged the back of the hybrid’s brain, making him want to smile even more than he already was.</p>
<p>Weird, but maybe also kind of sad. How long has it been since he’s felt this happy considering the fact he <i>noticed</i> the want to smile as wide as possible? Like it’s unusual for him to be this joyful about something?</p>
<p>“Hey, Boob Dude! Make sure to watch closely how to tie this knot!”</p>
<p>Ah, the Tommy comparisons made a whole lot more sense all of a sudden.</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>Eventually, Tommy’s haze of disappointment in himself wore off.</p>
<p>With it came the sudden realization that the last fucking place he wanted to be on this server was anywhere near Dream, especially alone, and even if the tizzy he had with Phil and Techno could be considered his fault, he would be more willing to suck it up and apologize so he didn’t have to be anywhere close to that ‘near Dream’ situation. Fuckity fuck fuck, this is what Tubbo meant, this is what <i>everyone</i> meant about him, he gets way too angry and fucks it all up-</p>
<p>Aaaand why was no one at the spot where he left them? <i>Hello?</i></p>
<p>The only reason he didn’t full-on sprint like a chicken with its head cut off was that he was just too goddamn exhausted, so it was more of a fast-paced speed walk as he looked around the nearby areas, “PHIIIL! PHIIIIL WHERE ARE YOU?!”</p>
<p>He knew he was running far away from where they were all last together, which was probably pretty stupid, but for all he knew Dream had gotten to them. Dream, that green bitch who ruined his life, <s>who was a better friend</s> who still poisoned his thoughts and nightmares, <s>who understood Techno more than idiot child Tommy and could take him away again</s> who all around was just a giant-</p>
<p>Skidding to a stop around a corner, Tommy nearly stumbled right into Philza. Like, almost tripped over him like he was a log in the forest trail kind of stumbled. Tommy’s breathing was labored from, well, everything, but it was nothing compared to whatever the fuck Phil was doing. The man was curled into his knees, his wings uncomfortably squished behind him and the wall he was pushing himself against. Not to mention his fingers on the verge of ripping entire patches of hair from his head.</p>
<p>What’s with this family and hair-pulling? Oi vey.</p>
<p>Blinking a few times, Tommy tiptoed closer to the closest thing he considered a father before kneeling and placing a hand on his back, ignoring how Philza jerked like he had been struck, “Hey, old man, you’re going to be okay. Listen to my voice, follow my breathing, that’s it…”</p>
<p>If Tommy was good at anything, it’s helping others through their freakouts more than he does his own. Which, kinda hard to do when it feels like your lungs are forcefully expelling themselves from their chest. Or maybe it’s because Philza doesn’t deserve it and Tommy has-</p>
<p>Philza took a giant inhale, almost painful sounding, which made Tommy’s thoughts immediately shut up and his hand jump back. Phil looked around like a crazed animal, eyes blown wide and only expanding more when he noticed Tommy, “T-Toms? You’re-”</p>
<p>“Handsome, amazing, the best wife collector?” Tommy asked with a cheeky grin. “Jeez, Philza, a man doesn’t need too much of an ego boo-”</p>
<p>Tommy was suddenly squished against something soft due to a giant vice grip, the same one covering him in shadows. He struggled momentarily, <i>what the fuck what the fuck,</i> but when he realized it was <i>Phil</i> hugging him, covering him in his <i>wings</i> like he was protecting the most precious gemstone in the world, Tommy-</p>
<p>Tommy hadn’t gotten a hug like that in a while, much less one from his <i>dad.</i></p>
<p>He had been emotioned-out to hell and back, so even if he wanted to cry, he couldn’t. All Tommy managed to reciprocate was wrapping his hands back around Phil in a weaker hug, “U-Uh, okay?”</p>
<p>Philza let out a wet laugh on the kid’s shoulder, because that was so very Tommy of him to respond with (when did Tommy <i>stop</i> doing stuff like that?), “Gods, I wasn’t- you’re <i>okay,</i> not with Dream or dead or <i>both-</i>”</p>
<p>Tommy raised an eyebrow at the latter two, “Uh, Dream doesn’t want me dead though?”</p>
<p>Philza scoffed before leaning out of the embrace, leaving one hand on Tommy’s shoulder and the other moving to wipe his face of tears, “Tommy, you expect people wouldn’t assume you would off yourself after basically admitting you wanted to? Not that I have a right to be upset. I still didn’t chase after you, didn’t make sure you were okay, stayed the giant coward I am-”</p>
<p>“Woah, okay,” Tommy abruptly spoke. His brain was shutting off at this new information, “Coward? Philza, you might be somewhat of a wrongin, but the last thing I’d call you is a coward. You’re Philza Minecraft! The Angel of Death! You eat cowards for breakfast!”</p>
<p>The man in question tilted his head toward Tommy, the grin on his face unexplainably sad, “Oh Toms. I know you’re… weighing yourself low in terms of importance, but you don’t need to right now. Techno isn’t here, if you want to get some stuff out at me I won’t stop you.”</p>
<p>Tommy felt his brain blank for a second. If he was good at anything, it was going ape shit when he had permission to go ape shit, “How could you, you fucking jackass! Do you know how hard we fucking worked on L’Manberg?”</p>
<p>Philza shrunk back a little, but still stood (sat, really) strong, “Yeah, yeah I do.”</p>
<p>“Now it’s all gone! All the way down to bedrock!” Tommy raced forward with his words, his arms extending dramatically outward to hammer his point home, “We were left to face the wolves of the world while you and Techno got to run back to your little homely cabins like what the <i>fuck?!</i>”</p>
<p>Philza had the posture of a dog with its tail between its legs, “I know you guys worked hard on your country, bled for it, and there’s no excuse, nothing in the slightest, even if you all had the same look as Wilbur-”</p>
<p>Tommy metaphorically stomped his foot down, “Don’t you fucking bring Wilbur into this! You killed him, treated his Ghost like he barely existed, and then when you <i>had</i> to interact with him, it was awful! You upset him so badly on Doomsday he wanted nothing to do with you. YOU! His literal FATHER!”</p>
<p>“Well, I’m sorry I struggled to look at the worst mistake of my life all the time!” Philza snapped before recoiling. “Right, right, not an excuse, not an excuse…”</p>
<p>Tommy opened his mouth before bile aggressively came screaming up his throat.</p>
<p>Tommy almost dived right into a flashback when he was in exile. </p>
<p>
  <i>On the ground, not allowed to speak his point, utter submission to try and please the one on top, and when he could finally get out what he wanted to say he scrambled back with useless apologies.</i>
</p>
<p>That’s not… Philza might be a right moron, but Tommy knew first hand how it felt to be in his current position. How the self-loathing threatened to choke you like tar and the people around you did jack shit to let you work through it. Tommy wasn’t Dream, <i>he wasn’t,</i> and he was going to prove it right now.</p>
<p>“What do you mean ‘same look’ and ‘worst mistake of my life’, Phil?” Tommy asked gently, rage simmering below the surface.</p>
<p>Philza jerked, not prepared for his audience to want to listen to him. He laughed, a hand coming up to rub the back of his neck, “Gee, where do I start? How’s about the fact I took his letters where he said he was ‘hanging out with friends’ at face value and didn’t read between the lines how he was struggling? How’s about the fact that his look was nothing but pure agony in that button room, how he talked about how much he was <i>struggling</i> and I wasn’t <i>there</i> for him?”</p>
<p>Tommy was swaying, taking in this new tidbit of info with the grace of a drunk parrot, “O-Oh, I guess that makes sense.”</p>
<p>Philza brought his hands up to push his wrists into his eyes to stop the flow of tears threatening to pour out, “I still see his <i>eyes,</i> how twisted they were, how dark they became… how they became that way over a country who didn’t want to return anything he gave to it, anything <i>you</i> gave. After failing to help Wilbur, I had to sit there and watch all of your eyes slowly turn the same way, the same mindless grief over things that didn’t matter in the long run, and when you went <i>back,</i> back to a place that I thought hurt you in the worst way, made Tubbo and his upstanding friends into these robots focused on nothing other than their mission, Gods, I snapped, I snapped so hard and so wrong. I thought I could save you, save you before you all asked me to kill you just like Wilbur did-”</p>
<p>A very loud record scratch sounded in Tommy’s mind, anger dissipating like a ripple in the ocean’s waves, “Wait... he did what?”</p>
<p>Philza laughed coldly, regret deep within his bones. His hands fell away from his eyes to flop uselessly on his thighs, “Yep, my obviously ill son throws a sword at me- and only me- begs me to kill him while he’s on his knees, and I don’t even take one second to try something else before I spear him. Father of the Year, right? Then I fuck off to the Arctic to let it happen a second time to a much younger kid, guilt or no, which…” Philza let out a long sigh.</p>
<p>Tommy.exe stopped working. Officially. Fully. He couldn’t come up with a coherent thought. Wilbur was- he did- <i>what?</i> “... I didn’t know he asked you to.”</p>
<p>Philza shook his head, “Mate, I hate to break it to you, but it doesn’t make it all that much better. Frankly, I might have just made it worse. You can’t really-”</p>
<p>He continued to ramble on, static filling the empty parts of Tommy’s mind not listening to the conversation, which was, unfortunately, a lot of it. Tommy was too busy being stuck on the whole ‘Wilbur asked’ part. Wilbur wanted to die. <i>Wilbur wanted to die.</i> There were few reasons someone would reach that point in their life, and Tommy can say from personal experience that it usually involved self-hatred.</p>
<p>Wilbur… hated himself.  </p>
<p>Tommy didn’t have the words or knowledge to dive deep into that other than, “You know, maybe none of it was fair.”</p>
<p>Philza’s mouth was still open when he stopped talking. He blinked a few times before looking back at Tommy, “Well, yeah, that’s putting it mildly-”</p>
<p>“It wasn’t fair we had to fight a war we didn’t want,” Tommy was very suddenly ree-con-text-jewel-eye-zing- or whatever that word Wilbur used during their political debates was- everything that had happened between him and his older brother. It was a lot to take in, so you couldn’t blame him for forgetting to breathe at a spot or two, “It wasn’t fair that all that responsibility was thrust upon him, it wasn’t fair he sometimes unintentionally took it out on others, it wasn’t fair when you occasionally missed parts of our lives-” Philza flinched, but Tommy kept trucking along, “- it wasn’t fair he lied in his letters that everything was okay, it wasn’t fair he got exiled from the country he built with his bare hands, it wasn’t fair I was the only one there forced to take the brunt of his issues, it wasn’t fair the only other adult who could have helped him at the same time was a guy with his <i>own</i> problems, hell, it wasn’t fair he had to watch Tubbo die too. It wasn’t fair he lied to me about the stupid button, it wasn’t fair we reached a point where he thought that was <i>okay,</i> it wasn’t fair he put you between a rock and a hard place you weren’t equipped to deal with after getting your wings singed off, <i>fuck!</i> It wasn’t fair he died and <i>left</i> me because he fucking <i>hated</i> himself so <i>much!</i>”</p>
<p>Tommy whined, high pitched and bratty, at the information overload, his hands reaching up to his hair to try and mimic Philza from earlier. The forlorn father simply grabbed them gently before they could do too much damage, “Hey, don’t do that. What did your hair ever do to you?”</p>
<p>Tommy rolled his eyes through the tears, “You’re one to fucking talk, old man.”</p>
<p>Philza let out a few chuckles, his fingers comfortingly and rhythmically brushing over Tommy’s wrists, something he knew calmed the teen down, “Maybe so, maybe so, but I think we’ve established I’m somewhat of a hypocrite.”</p>
<p>Tommy nodded, looking down at the sort of hand-holding he was trapped in, “At least you fucking admit it.”</p>
<p>Now the two blonds were left to sit there in silence, the coldness of the prison seeping into their bodies, adrenaline that could have kept them warm gone.</p>
<p>“So…” Philza started up again, Tommy looking up into his eyes as a signal for him to continue, “Where do you want to go from here, I guess?”</p>
<p>Tommy was suddenly looking back at his hands, the one’s still held in Philza’s own much bigger ones. Despite somehow being shorter, the man still felt more giant in a lot of ways, something Tommy secretly appreciated. He took a shaky deep breath, “I know I’m not the son you wanted-” Philza sharply inhaled, but Tommy kept going before he could say anything, “And I think we agree you ended up being far from the perfect dad, but… you <i>are</i> still my father.”</p>
<p>Philza was finally able to jump in, “And you’re still my son.”</p>
<p>Tommy’s lips thinned in disbelief, but not as much as they would have a few hours before this conversation, “Y-You’re still my dad, and… and I just want him <i>back.</i>” Now he was fucking crying, goddammit. He wanted to <i>avoid</i> this bullshit.</p>
<p>It still didn’t seem to matter though, as he could feel through his sobs how a pair of arms came back up around him in the softest fucking thing he’s felt in a while. A shuffling of feathers was also heard, and now the hug was the warmest thing he felt too. A scruffy chin placed itself on his raggedy mop of hair, and for a second, everything was okay again. Tommy felt himself involuntarily snuggle further into his dad’s chest, his hands white-knuckling the back of his clothes.</p>
<p>Philza couldn’t stop the tears from matting Toms’ greasy hair even more, “Thank you, Tommy. Thank you so much. I know I don’t deserve it.”</p>
<p>Tommy giggled, rolling his eyes for the last time during this conversation, “Well, coming from a person who also thinks I don’t deserve this, we’re a match made in heaven.”</p>
<p>Philza was softly rocking him again, fuckity fuck, he was going to cry even harder- “I suppose we are, kiddo.”</p>
<p>The voices in Tommy’s head were quiet.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>*kicks down the door with enthusiasm* SUP FUCKERS. GUESS WHO KINDA CRIED WRITING THIS<br/>been having a time recently, which isnt so poggers to my motivation levels. take this extra long chap as a semi-apology for lack of updates, esp since other fics are going to make the next break in chapters even longer :sadge:</p>
<p>ABOUT THE CHAP ITSELF: god does dsmp!sbi ever make you cry? c!wilbur lied to c!tommy about not blowing up lmanberg, so when c!techno started his spiel from c!tommy's pov that was the "reason" c!wilbur pushed the button, and c!techno doesnt realize that so he cant bring it up. then immediately after that c!tommy had to watch (with no way to hear what they were saying) c!phil stab c!wilbur over said explosion, not realizing c!wilbur wanted that or that he kinda backed c!phil into a corner (not saying that absolves c!phil, not in the slightest, i think he would agree w me honestly sdnfksd)... Man</p>
<p>then about the whole butcher army thing: Hog Hunt dropped and it made me reconsider some of my viewpoints about some things. obviously, I'm still biased towards the lmanbergians, gonna be hard to sway me from that pov, but i do know the butcher army fucked up as well. whether you consider it to be on the same level as techno is going to be a you thing. does this make sense? i guess im trying to say that i hoped the whole tubbo-quackity scene was written fairly, one that gave tubbo agency in what happened but also still portrayed how he got forced into ideals he wasnt keen with at the start ya know?</p>
<p>also if you know which song the chapter title is from i just want you to know i love you /p</p>
<p>no beta so if there are any egregious typos feel free to let me know! 💜<br/>If you wish to scream at me here's my <a href="https://halorocks1214.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a></p>
<p>pspspsp do you like osmp? do you like worldbuilding? do you like villain dream team?? massive amounts of tommy angst??? well guess what! the wonderful mollypollykinz agreed to collab with me on a fic which you should <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30746786/chapters/75886205">go read right now!</a> we are aware tommy is going thru his villain arc on the server atm instead (good for him), but we enjoy tommy angst far too much to let this go (we also outlined the fic before that stream happened soooo /lh)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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